


Safe Inside

by AngelOfAWinchester



Category: Supernatural
Genre: A lot of cuddles and sweatpants, Angel Powers (Supernatural), Castiel/Anael Siblings, Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nephilim, Parents Castiel/Sam Winchester, Post Traumatic First Time, Slow Burn, Very happy ending, Very in love boyfriends, Very sweet Sastiel, adorable parents, implied mental health issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-05
Updated: 2019-02-05
Packaged: 2019-10-22 22:29:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 44,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17671319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelOfAWinchester/pseuds/AngelOfAWinchester
Summary: -- Important note: This isn't a M-preg fic. (and read the notes/tags ♥)Michael was defeated. Sam and Dean, they sort of retired after that episode. Dean is a mechanic in Lebanon, Sam is an full-time Man of Letters.  Everything was fine in their lives; until Castiel came back in the bunker one night, telling them that Heaven was in danger and that this was threatening the entire humanity and angelkind. Sam came up with an idea, but he wasn’t expecting the angel to ask him to be part of the creation of the Nephilim to be.It didn’t matter how crazy it was, he said yes because Sam and Castiel, they both were secretly in love for a very long time now and they would do anything for each other. Castiel’s excuse to not tell Sam about his feelings? The Empty. Sam’s one? He didn’t think he deserved this angel.Maybe this was the step of life the two of them needed to face their love for each other.





	Safe Inside

**Author's Note:**

> I may have cried three times before posting it, I am very nervous about sharing a work of mine. I never did it before.  
> It's the first time ever I'm writing a full story in english. It's not my first langage, I think I've corrected most my mistakes, but I'm apologizing if there are some words/expressions/grammar I did wrong. It might be simply written but I think it's still interesting and not very boring (I HOPE!) 
> 
> I didn't plan on writing a fiction this long, but I was very very inspired. I couldn't stop writing about Sastiel. I wrote it all January, and I'm glad I did.  
> This story is written for the #SastielCreationsChallenge 
> 
> My infos:  
> Sastiel Creations Challenge | My blog: theangelofawinchester.tumblr.com  
> theme: one more | prompt: Step
> 
> Clearly, the prompt was very vague. It could have been anything, but I thought it was the best idea to take it with the simpliest meaning: the steps of life.
> 
> Anyway, I will shut up now and let you read it or not. 
> 
> Please know that, everything I wrote are basically my sastiel dreams. What I'd love to read about them. Eveything i think about all day long. It's my own interpretation of angels, and the characters themselves. I'm not forcing any interpretation to anybody, espacially the canons that I used in it.

**2018**

Sixteen months have passed since Michael was defeated. Most of the super-boosted monsters were gone, the rest of them were hiding. The ghosts didn’t want to annoy the livings anymore. The alternative hunters were handling the hunts when it was necessary from the new headquarters in Detroit, lead by Mary and Bobby. The Winchesters are still in Lebanon, in their home. Way more peaceful this way according to Dean. Everything was doing great. Dean took time to heal from his archangel’s possession, and really was taking a break from hunting. A well deserved one after fifteen years. He found a job in town, in the Russo’s garage specialized in cars from the 60s. For once, he saw the light at the end of a tunnel his brother talked him about before. Something else was waiting outside for him, instead of dying killed by a demon like his entire family. He was happy. Jack and his soul mechanism didn’t show any bad side effects yet. His angelic grace wasn’t fully restored, but he was doing okay. He was spending most of his time in Detroit with his girlfriend Maggie. He was learning to be a young human/angel kid. He, Sam, filed another path. Since he met his grandfather Henry Winchester, he wanted to be a man of letter. A real one, with their knowledge in alchemy, in weapons, in...  basically everything. He spent a few weeks arranging the bunker in a methodical way, each rooms on the fourth floor filled with every books/spells/weapons against of type of creatures. Paradise for a bookworm like him. Everything was good… except that they were the Winchesters, and good never lasts. They always have to save the world, and they understood that when Castiel came back in the bunker that night.

 

“Hello, Sam, Dean,” Cas said with a sigh, sitting on a vacant chair around the war table.

 

“Hey” Dean greeted him with a strange move of hand in the air, too focus on the bites of his burger. Sam rolled his eyes, asking himself how his big brother could sound so dramatic when he was eating like the two thousandth burger of his life. He turned his head and looked at the angel with a sincere smile.

 

“Hey, Cas. It’s good to see you. Are you alright?” Sam asked with concern, when he noticed that Castiel seemed lost in his thoughts.

 

“I wish I could answer that I am, Sam.” he said. “But the situation in Heaven is critical. We lost another angel today. A very rare accident.”

“What happened?” Sam asked, putting his fork on top of his salad, his attention totally on Castiel. Dean forgot his food for a second, wiping his stinky fingers.

“Each soul has his own paradize right after they die. It’s supposed to be a peaceful place. But sometimes, when a good human soul is too tormented, they create a nightmare. When this happens, a little breach opens and some demons from hell can come in. And angels are here to fix it. Conah went in, but he was killed right before he closed the gap. Duma was able to do so when the alarm started but it was too late for my brother.”

 

Sam bit his inferior lips, shocked. “I am so sorry Cas”.  

 

The angel smiled, nodding. “Clearly, there isn’t enough guards left anymore. We are around ten left. I am most of the time on earth. Naomi, Duma and Anael are barely able to make it function. The angelic energy is running out. And we are talking about billions and billions of humans souls about to be ejected into the Veil. It will make it explode. It means that the reapers will out of job, and Billie really won’t like it.”

 

Dean wasn’t hungry anymore, and he just sighed, his fingers massaging his temples.

 

“Amazing. Great” The oldest Winchester sighed. He grabbed a bottle of beer, offering the following to Sam and Cas who accepted it gladly.

 

“What can we do, Cas?” Sam asked thoughtfully, his tongue playing with the gap of the bottle. He drank a few drops of alcohol, waiting for an answer. The angel desperately raised his shoulders, resigned.

 

“I have no idea, Sam. The four archangels are dead. Father and Amara are somewhere far far away in the galaxy. Naomi thought that Jack would have been a solution. Maybe he could have, but not now that his life depends on the grace he has left. And he is young, he shou--”

 

Cas stopped when he heard Sam coughing with the beer flowing in his throat. The tall man of letters smashed his bottle loudly on the table, wiping his wet mouth with his sleeve.

 

“Sammy, what’s going on?” Dean asked.

 

“This is it. Nephilims. Oh man, how did I forget about this…” he slid on his sit, leaving in a hurry the room. Dean and Castiel looked at each other, frowning their eyebrows in synchronisation.

 

“My brother is so weird man. I swear if I didn’t know him better I would think he is possessed half of the time.” Dean sighed, and he made Cas laugh. The angel sipped his beer a few times, looking at the entrance, waiting for Sam to come back, apparently with some good news. He came back a few minutes later with a very ancient manuscript that he put on the table while he sits back on his chair.

 

“Is that…” Castiel stops, his lips part in awe. He moves his sit forwards, his belly against the corner of the table. “How? Sam, this is the most precious manuscript of the angelic history. We all thought this was destroyed.”

 

“Uh, hello Einstein. Care for translating this mess?” Dean said, exasperated, starting on the third beverage.

 

“Etta Yoni Schalom. She was the first prophet on earth, 600 years before Christ. God shared too much of his knowledge with her, and she became too powerful. Rumor has it that she conceived the Queen of Sheba, the first Nephilim. Father sent Gabriel in Sheba to kill her and destroy everything. Her diary was supposed to be lost.”

 

Dean listened carefully, while Sam continued. “The diary is protected with strong sigils. Angels cannot read it. Everything is written in ancient hebrew and most likely afrikan. It’s very difficult to translate. But I’m sure the solution is in there. Cas, Nephilims are very powerful, right? Jack can’t use his grace because it’s too damaged and it would be dangerous. But if we could make a Nephilim, he or she could save the humans souls, and the angels.”

 

Castiel nodded, standing up. He walked near Sam, putting a hand on his shoulder. His pinky finger was on a naked part of Sam’s skin, an unexpected gesture that made Sam jump with surprise. The tall hunter raised his eyes up, drowning himself in the piercing blue eyes looking at him gently, a long shiver running down his spine. With his return trips between the Attic, Detroit and the bunker, Sam didn’t realize how much he missed having the angel around. Without noticing it, he moved his shoulder slowly to let Castiel fingers seeping in deeper on him, until he felt a little bit of his nail under his t-shirt.

 

“Being a Man of Letters really suits you, Sam Winchester. You are the most intelligent person I have ever met.”

 

Sam smiled, a little bit embarrassed by the compliment. He answered a quiet ‘Thank you” Castiel couldn’t hear because of Dean’s interruption.

 

“Not cool!” Dean screamed, throwing the beers’ corks on Cas’ face. The three of them laughed. “Ugh.” Dean sighed. “I guess before our official retirement, we have one more step: saving Heaven. Nice.” He sighed again, leaving the kitchen after he said goodbye to his brother and his best-friend.

 

“Your brother is going to sleep at nine pm? I didn’t realize it was an old man already.” The angel laughed again and Sam couldn’t stop himself to laugh along with him. He noticed that for the first time in a long time, Castiel seemed relaxed. He felt the warm of Cas’ hand leaving the top of his arm, and he watched his walking to the main stairs.

 

“You are leaving?” - _already_ left unsaid - Sam asked, disappointed. The angel smiled at him.

“Yes. I have to go back in Heaven and talk with Naomi. If you can translate the spell to create a Nephilim, we will need her approval. A lot must be discussed. I will back soon with news, Sam.”

 

The youngest Winchester smiled sadly. “Uh, yeah. Bye Cas”  

 

The angel was about to answer something, but seeing that he was failing Sam he chose to stay quiet, leaving the bunker in the heavy silence. If the whole Winchester-Kline squad was having a happy post-hunting life, this doesn’t change the fact that Castiel’s secret still existed. The deal with the Empty he made almost two years ago was still threatening his life. Everytime he was laughing, a part of his mind reminded him that the entity was so close to come and take him away forever. He couldn’t let that happen. He was avoiding the Winchester, and Jack. It was so painful for Castiel to do so, but it kept him safe for now. He wanted to stay here, watch a football game with Dean, read books with Sam or eat waffles with his nephew. He wanted it so badly but he couldn’t risk to lose those opportunities for the rest of his life. He was hiding in Heaven. And he stayed in Heaven the next  three weeks, arguing with Naomi about the Nephilim plan. He talked with Sam over the phone most of time, following his progress in the translation until it was complete. As expect the spell required a lot of sacrifices. Both human and angelic. They spent days and nights negotiating the terms of the creation of the Nephilim. Terms that Castiel ending up agreeing on when the guilt was overwhelming him. It was his fault if Heaven was in danger, and it was is duty to fix it. _No matter the price_ , Castiel thought. A sentence that he used way too often. Once he left Naomi’s office after their last discussion, Cas grabbed his phone to call Sam.

 

“Hello, Sam”.

“Hey Cas. So, can we do it?” Sam asked nervously.

“Yes. Finally Naomi accepted our request. She understands that this is the only solution for Heaven. But she is only willing to do this on her terms. That’s why she summons Dean, Jack, Mary and you for a biblical hearing. Some others humans will come as witnesses. The angels would be here too. Humans cannot access the Attic, so we will meet tomorrow at the Wedgwood Baptist Church in Fort Worth, Texas.”

“Alright… We will be there.”

“Thank you. See you all tomorrow.” Castiel ended.  “I hope you will forgive me. It was the only solution.” He added, when he thought that the call was over.

 

Castiel pocketed the phone which ended the conversation for real this time. Sam was left with his mouth wide open. He watched the screen of his phone turning black, the last sentences of Castiel resonating in his mind on repeat. _What the fuck did you do, Cas?_

 

The next day, Dean and Sam took the Impala, driving fast the 45 miles separating the two towns. Sam was pensive, his forehead glued against the window. He was watching the trees parading in front of his eyes. He was worried about Castiel. He is always worried about the angel, but something felt wrong and different.

 

“We had a 1969 Ford Mustang at work yesterday. She was gorgeous! I am sure Baby was thinking that too.” He smiled, tapping the wheel “yeah my girl.” Seeing that his brother was still in his thoughts, he slapped his thigh very hardly.” Come on Sammy. I found my car a friend and you aren’t even listening to me.”

 

Sam snorted. “Yeah, maybe because this isn’t Flash McQueen and Sally Carrera’s story.”

 

“What? Flash McWho?” cried out Dean. Sam snorted again. “Tell me you aren’t seriously talking this “Cars” crap. This cartoon is a shame for actual cars. What’s up?”

 

“I don’t know, Dean. I feel Cas did something stupid. Self-sacrifice type of stupid.” He was interrupted by his phone buzzing, a message from Jack.

 

_[Mary, Maggie, Bobby and I are here. We are waiting for you. Auntie Duma seems pissed, like all the angels. Come quick. I see angel blades.]_

 

The brothers arrived at the church fifteen minutes later. Dean parked his car next to his mom’s, and entered in the room right after. Sam took some time outside to breathe, feeling anxious about the upcoming events. He wanted his retirement so badly. There was enough hunters to handle the threats in the country. His brother was finally happy with his job. His mom was happy with Bobby. Jack was happy with Maggie. He wanted to be happy with --

 

‘Sam, come!’ Mary called him, holding the heavy door of the church. Sam apologized and climbed the stairs quickly. He was totally dumbstruck by the place. Anael, Naomi and Duma were sitting behind the altar covered with a white and gold doily. In others circumstances, it would have been a marvelous venue for a wedding. A huge cross was standing between two stained-glass windows representing God and his four archangels. The sun reflected in the glasses, and the dozens of hues were coloring the white floor. There was so much flowers everywhere. The room was completely quiet. Everyone seemed to wait for him to come in. The first row on the left was taken by his family. He was following Mary’s steps with his eyes until she sat next to Bobby. On the right, three angels were sitting next to each others.  The second and third rows on each sides were for the humans here as witnesses of the Divine. He was looking for Castiel but the angel was nowhere to be seen. Sam frowned, the situation doesn't making any sense. He took a deep breathe, feeling the nervousness in all of his fibers. He walked quietly aisle, his look caughting two humans sitting in the corner of the stage not far away from the altar. A brunette woman approximately thirty, with blue eyes and a man with dark hair around the same age. They both seemed very calm. Considering their matching religious outfits, they should probably be christians. Once Sam reached his spot next to Dean, Naomi spoke.

 

“Welcome everyone to the Biblical Hearing. I am Naomi, ruler of Heaven. I am here today to share with you the solution we found to save Heaven and restore  the equilibrium between the livings and the deads and the energy it creates. For our survival, we may thank the Man of Letters Sam Winchester for his discovery.” She applauded, and the audience followed. The noises of the clappings were heavily resonating in the building. Once it stopped, she continued. “ The spell for creating a nephilim for angels is a different process unlike the one for archangels. For this to happen, we require a human male donor and an angel possessing a female vessel. It will take six months for the Nephilim to grow and be born by destroying the vessel and the angel in it.”

 

 _No. No no no_ , finally got Sam. He never thought that Castiel would have been suicidal enough to make this deal. When he heard Naomi calling for him, he understood. The Angel appeared behind Anael, his sad look avoiding his loved-ones.

 

“Castiel volunteered to possess,” she pointed out the mysterious girl next to them, “Elle Jensen.”

 

The shocked screams of the Winchesters interrupted her, when they all realized what everything of this meant.  

 

“I’m sorry, but what the fuck Cas’? You can’t possibly think that this is the solution” Dean said, offended. He threw up one’s hand, looking helplessly at his mom. “I am pretty sure I tell him everyday ‘do not do stupid things’ and each times. Each times.”

“Castiel, do not do that. I can help. I can do this.” Jack tempted, looking at Cas. He tried to focus, his irises turning white. He snapped his fingers, his nose bleeding. He could feel his head spinning. Instead of creating an angel, one of the stained-glasses blew up. Thousand pieces of glass flew away, while Jack half collapsed on his chair. Maggie helped him regaining consciousness. The angels, the humans, the Winchesters were all talking in the same time making an unbearable hubbub. Sam closed his eyes for a second, massaging his temples. He inhaled deeply.

 

“Enough” he said quietly. Nobody heard him, so he screamed him louder. “ENOUGH!”

 

The whole room kept quiet. He stood up and approached Castiel, ignoring Duma’s reproaches. He stopped next to the stage.

 

“Cas. Can you please come with me? We need to talk.” Sam asked, his eyes fixed on Castiel’s profile. The Angel didn’t answer and still refused to look at him. He could see the stress in him, his fingers playing nervously with the end of his tie.

 

“ _Castiel,_ please _._ ” Sam begged. After a few minutes of silence, Castiel get down the stage to join a quiet room in the apse of the church. Sam followed him there, shutting the door violently. He didn’t mean to close it so harshly but the fear and anger of the situation were confusing his schemes. He saw at the opposite of the small room Cas looking through the window, his fingers now tapping the strong glass next to the red curtains. He clearly still avoiding him and it was driving Sam crazy.

 

“I beg you Cas. Just look at me. And tell me what you are doing exactly.” Sam moved closely to Cas’ figure, his steps slow and hesitant. He didn’t know what to do and what to say in this particular moment. He stopped his steps when he saw Castiel turning over.

 

“I am fixing a mistake, Sam.” Castiel finally said.

 

Sam snorted. “Really Cas?”

 

“Yes. First of all, I am the only Seraphim left. My grace is stronger. And, Heaven is in danger because I slaughtered thousands of my siblings. I killed Raphaël, who could have helped us today. I let Lucifer out and angels died. I woke the Empty up and angels died. I am causing Heaven’s fall. And creating a Nephilim is my redemption, Sam. It’s my chance to make it right.”

 

Sam sighed sadly. He couldn’t blame Castiel’s intentions but it was beyond his strength to accept it.

 

“I … I am sorry Cas but I just can’t --” Sam words broke, he was nearly sobbing.

 

Castiel watched the hunter's eyes almost wet, and he couldn’t bare it. He couldn’t see Sam in this emotional state and being the reason why he was heartbroken. He couldn’t stop himself and he made three quick paces until his body crashed against Sam’s. His silhouette was smaller so Cas just nestled his head in Sam’s neck, his hands desperately grabbing his flannel shirt on Sam’s waist. He muttered _I am sorry_ multiple times, his warm breath tickling Sam’s skin. The man of letters shivered, slipping on hand in Cas’ hair and the other on his lower back, sticking their two bodies even closer. After a few minutes of silence and their infinite embrace, Sam whispered against Cas’ ear.

 

“You don’t have to die for it. You don’t have to fully possess her.” He said. Castiel squeezed his waistline, showing Sam that he was listening to him carefully. “Do you remember when you were human and you were held captive by Malachai ? you were able to swallow Theo’s grace and it gave you your mojo back for a while. You can temporarily put a bit of your grace in her body. Like..”

 

“Like a horcrux?” Castiel asked naively without moving from his spot. Sam snickered, always surprised when the angel made a cultural reference. He took a little step back, noticing that Cas grumbled, displeased of the end of their clinch. Each of them took their own personal space back, already missing each other’s warmth.

 

Sam cleared his throat. “Yeah. A more kind way. You can impregnate her eggs with your grace. It should be enough for the pregnancy to work. Like a super angelical surrogate mother ? This works for humans. We can figure this out. This could work, or not… but at least you will be safe. You will stay alive Cas.” Sam was a little bit shocked by the lack of empathy regarding Elle. But, Cas’ life was all he was able to think about. He couldn’t lose Cas, not now, not ever. He meant too much.

 

“I guess we should tell that to Naomi. I don’t think she can refuse it.” Sam smiled at Cas, approaching the door to leave the room they entered ten minutes ago.

 

“Sam, wait.” Cas stopped him. _What the hell am I even doing_ he told for himself.

 

Sam stopped his way out, turning to face the angel once again.

 

“Yeah, what’s up Cas?” he asked.

 

Castiel stayed silent for a few seconds, biting his bottom lip so hard that a few drops of blood stained his white collar.

 

“Would you like to… ” He was struggling with words, his hands waving incoherently in the air in front of him.

“I mean you wouldn’t be a father. Not exactly. Just a don- I don’t know what I am saying. Forget it. Apologies for the discomfort.” He cleared his throat, looking at his feet when he walked quickly towards the door. He bumped into Sam, _obviously_ , he didn’t see him sooner coming in front of the door when he saw that Castiel wanted to escape. The tall hunter put his strong hands on his shoulders, trying to relax him. Sam wasn’t saying anything, waiting for Castiel to actual ask him. The angel focused on a small hole  in Sam’s flannel shirt instead of drowning his eyes in the hazel’s ones he liked so much.

 

“Heaven would be more safe if the child will be empathic, kind, with a huge heart, tall and very smart. Very, very smart.” He whispered the last words. “ _Like you._ ”

 

Castiel could hear Sam’s breath accelerating not far away from him, his heartbeats racing in his chest. He put his right hand on his heart without using his powers, but just to reassure him.

 

“I didn’t plan to ask. Not for real. I thought about it the past days, I asked you this so many times in so many scenarios. In most of them you punched me in the face, in the others you were telling me yes. It is not fair to ask you something big like this. It is selfish of me to inflict you this. But Sam… There is no one in the world, on earth or anywhere else I am trusting more than you. To take care of this child if something should happen to me. I don’t only want you to raise him or her like your own. I know you would. I want it to be you. I need to know there will be some goodness in its genes, not only my cosmic flaws. I know that I won’t be able to do this without you, Sam. Not when everything I touch turned to death, and chaos. You are the perfect example that the darkness cannot reach a pure soul if it has a part of you, Sam Winchester. I-- Would you do that, with me?”

 

Sam stayed motionless for a few seconds. The angel looked down, letting a sigh escaping his mouth.

 

“Too much informations, uh? I know that all of this is confusing. And insane. I am sorry. Pardon me, Sam.”

“No, No Cas, this isn’t it, just-- why me, really?” Sam finally asked. Castiel felt his hands still on his shoulders shaking. “I am not good enough.”

“Yes, you are. I saw what you did with Jack. He is the son of Lucifer, but you always believed in him. He is good in this world thanks to you and the ability you have to always see the good in a heart even when everyone around you call it a monster. Because you were that person before. This is the most genuine quality for a human. And I saw billions of humans and I only saw that in you, Sam.”

 

Sam closed his eyes for a moment, his left hand sliding on Castiel’s collarbone until she reached his chin. He put two fingers on this part of his face, pressuring them to lift it up until their eyes can stare at each other.

 

“Are you sure about this, Cas? this is a deal for a lifetime.” Sam murmured.

“Yes. I am sure. I wasn’t planning on leaving you anytime soon anyway… did you?” Castiel tilted his head, confused.

Sam laughed. “No, I was hoping to have you around until I am old and wrinkled.”

 

The angel laughed, and Sam added: “So yes. I will do it with you Cas’. Oh my god. Fuck. We will do it.”

 

Castiel smiled sincerely, ready for another embrace when he heard Dean and Anael behind the door, clearly looking for them both. He shook his head, opting for leaving the room instead. Castiel went first back next to the altar, followed by Sam, his brother and the red headed angel.

 

“Really? you were flirting out there for twenty minutes.” Dean yelled when they both joined their seats.

“We weren’t… flirting. We were having a baby, actually.” Sam laughed when he watched him be astound.

“I am sorry what?” Dean almost choked, repeating ‘what’ at least ten times in two seconds.

 

Sam explained the situation to his brother while Castiel was informing the angels about the final solution. He had to admit, it didn’t become more real when he told the same story four times in a row, to his mom, to Bobby and to Jack.

 

“You…” Dean started, his forefinger in front of his mouth. He was processing, hardly. But he was trying. “You leave for two minutes and you come back agreeing to be the donor Cas’ nephilim child with some christian surrogate chick. Am I the only one finding this crazy? Oh my god. This is insane.” He rolled his eyes.

“Dean,” Sam snorted. “Don’t be so dramatic. You impregnated an amazon. You were a dog for a day. You killed Hitler. Our mom is back from the dead because the darkness was in love with you. I was possessed by the devil. I lost my soul. I died more times than I can count. Honestly, I find this kind of normal to have a child with Cas after all that.” He shrugged.

 

Dean sighed, opening his mouth to answer but he agreed that his brother had a point.

Once Naomi ended her speech, the Winchesters stood up a bit after all the angels and the witnesses left the church. Dean tapped his brother’s back, ready to leave the place as requested by the ruler of Heaven.

 

“Sammy… are you gonna sleep with Cas?” he asked, genuinely concerned, pretending that he didn’t understand the whole thing. Sam rolled his eyes.

 

“Shut up, jerk.” Sam snorted, exasperated.

 

“Alright, Alright….” Dean added, messing around. He took the time to tell his little brother that he was actually proud of his decision. Sam smiled to him, grateful for his support. “We will grab lunch in town. Then they will leave. I will wait for you to come home. Call me when it’s done. If I don’t answer, do not panic. I saw a bar and I may will need a few drink to process all this. When I say a few, it’s a few hundred.”

 

“Yeah, I get it,” he laughed. “Thanks Dean.” He said, letting them go after a quick handshake.

 

The huge place was now completely empty except for Castiel, Duma, Naomi, Elle and him. Sam approached the altar, now covered with a thin mattress. Duma took Elle’s hands, helping her standing from the seat she didn’t move from the past couple hours. She looked in peace, quiet and obedient. But she was smiling, Sam noticed. She seemed to understand what was happening. Duma placed her hands on her back and undressed until she let her lay down on the mattress only in underwears. She fixed her necklace with a cross on it on her chest, and told her that her choice was a miracle and that Heaven will always be grateful for that. Elle answered her that it was his duty to help the house of God. Shortly after, Castiel joined Sam. He put a hand on his arm, and the other one was holding container covered with sigils. Sam took it, his cheeks starting to blush when he understood what it was for.

 

“Uh.. thank you, Cas” he said a little bit embarrassed.

“Do you need assistance?” Castiel asked naturally.

“No, Cas.. Uh, I’m gonna be okay. I guess.” Sam said, definitely blushing now.

 

Castiel squeezed his arm before removing his hold. “We are waiting for you, then.” He added, and left Sam alone. _No pressure at all_ , he told himself. He laughed, massaging his neck with his free hand while he was walking in the closest room he found. Luckily for him, it was a welcoming room. Not too sinister considering that they were in a church. He closed the door behind him, and looked around quickly. The room wasn’t really big, but it was cosy. The red curtains were closed, and a leather couch was in front of the only window. He took a few paces until he reached the fourniture, and he sat on the fluffy armrest. He put the container on the coffee table next to him, grabbed a pillow he put under his back and put his hands on his stomach, spreading slightly his legs. After a few minutes of concentration, he gave himself a motivating speech while he was moving his hands onto his belt. He unlocked it slowly. _Come on Sam, you did worst. In worst places. With worst people._ He closed his eyes, his fingers playing with his elastic band. He had to focus. He tried to think of a beautiful brunette he saw a few months back on the street. An awesome man at the Lebanon’s library. The hot waitress from the cafe. He was trying hard to bring his mind anywhere else than the blue eyes’ dark haired man he really was constantly thinking about. _Crap_. It was too late now. If definitely happened before, but it was always something Sam was embarrassed with. The images of Castiel’s pretty face were now very clear on his head. Sam licked his lips when he felt his hand getting into his grey underwear. He was imagining the angel breaking the door, and furiously climbing into his lap. He moaned the most quietly he could, his fingers stroking softly his lower abdomen. It didn’t took long for him to be hard when he thought about the angel’s fingers in the same place instead of his.

 

Meanwhile, Castiel was talking with Duma on the stage, waiting for Sam to come back.  

 

“Why him, Castiel?” She asked, intrigued.

Cas smiled. “It has to be him. It’s always been him.”

“But we are angels. We aren’t supposed to fall in love. Especially not with their species. You couldn’t just have told him this instead of choosing him as your... baby daddy?”

“You were there. You know what’s the end for me. The Empty. It means that even if Sam would want me one day, I couldn’t have him. Not like I want it. I can’t create any type of relationship with him. But the nephilim can be my legacy, and Sam’s. It can be a part of me that will still live on, a part of me he couldn’t forget. He lost so much, Duma. I am his friend, and I can’t just die and vanished forever. I can’t just abandon him too. It may seems crazy but it was a good opportunity. To honor my mistakes towards Heaven, and to honor my love for him. He will take care of the child. It will be good.” Castiel said, almost out of breath at the end of his monologue.

 

Duma tapped his shoulder in a comforting way. They both turned their heads in Sam’s direction when they heard his heavy steps. The man of letters made a quick stop in front of Naomi and gave him the container, stammering his answer when she asked him if everything went fine. The ruler thanked him and he joined the angels siblings next to the altar. His hands were still wet from the water fountain where he washed them sooner, and his cheeks were still red. Castiel laughed, watching Sam’s unsettled look in front of him.

 

“We can begin” Naomi announced.

 

Everyone were silent. Only the deep breath of Elle was resonating while Duma stood behind her, a hand rubbing her shoulder to calm her down. She lifted up her legs, her hands on her knees. She spread them a little bit to give Naomi more space. The white-haired angel gave Castiel an approval look, and the angel putting a hand on the lower part of her stomach. His grace turned purple, infiltrating Elle’s body. Sam watched the whole scene a bit anxious. He relaxed when he saw Elle’s blue eyes turning purple in their turn, for a few seconds only. She seemed okay and this was enough for Sam. Castiel took a step back, positioning himself next to Sam again. Cas noticed that Sam was biting his lip nervously when he saw Naomi pulling Elle’s panties out. He let his hand sliding into Sam’s, intertwining their fingers to reassure him. Sam squeezed his hand, his way to thank him for the gesture that he desperately needed. Naomi discharged the needle filled with Sam’s seed into Elle’s vagina. After a few minutes, she put the needle away, looking at Sam and Cas.

 

“My part is done. Yours too. For now, everything seems fine. Elle is safe. With Cas’ grace inside of her, we will be able to bring her in Heaven to keep an eye on her. We will know in a few days if she is pregnant.”

 

Sam thanked her, and the three women disappeared in a heartbeat.

 

“Well…” Sam snorted, not letting Cas’s hand go. He turned his face to stare at him, his fingers playing with Cas’s. The angel was now looking at their hands, remembering the first time he touched it. He smiled, tilting his head when he noticed that Sam was now looking for something in his pocket with only one hand available.

 

“You know Sam, I can let your other hand free.” Cas laughed, slowly taking his fingers away. Sam shook his head, holding his hand back.

 

“Not happening” he snorted. “I am just looking for- ah! Here it is.” He sighed, glad to finally have his phone ready. He started typing Dean’s number and sent him a quick message.

 

_[Dude, we are done. We need a ride home asap. Please tell me you aren’t banging some chick in the crappy toilets of a crappy bar. I absolutely need a shower.]_

 

He pocketed his phone again, his attention back on Cas.

 

“I texted Dean, I hope he will be back to take us home soon.” Sam said, frowning when he noticed Cas’ sad smile. He sighed. “You aren’t coming back, are you?”

 

He let Castiel’s hand go this time, suddenly feeling the fresh air of the night on his fingers. Castiel beat his inferior lip when their contact broke, regretting how the past minutes happened.

 

“Sam… I apologize. I have to be in Heaven. For now. Just to be sure that Elle is really safe with the angels. You understand that? Tell me that you do.” Castiel asked, almost begging for Sam’s understanding.

 

Sam nodded, and then looked away, avoiding the blue eyes staring at him. “Yes. I do. I know that Cas. _Your_ nephilim requires your help. You did that perfectly with Kelly. Elle will be in good hands with you.”

 

He grabbed his brown leathered coat on his seat, putting her back on when he felt his pant vibrating. He checked quickly Dean’s text _[On my way! Picking you in 5 minutes.]_ , and started to walk toward the main door.

 

“Sam.” Cas said without moving. He didn’t follow Sam but he waited for him to stop his paces to listen.

 

“In three days, I will be in the bunker with you. I will ask the angels to keep the news about Elle until we are together. I won’t let you miss anything. I specifically asked Naomi to do most of the procedures on earth with human assistance so we can do it together. This isn’t just _my_ nephilim. It’s yours too. I wouldn’t and I couldn’t do that with anyone else. I’m just asking you to trust me.” The last words were almost swallowed.

 

“I am trusting you, Cas.” Sam answered. “I just-“ _miss_ _you_ left unsaid when he noticed that Cas was gone.

“Really?!” He rolled his eyes, running outside when he heard the familiar klaxon of the impala. He sat on his passenger seat, already tired of the questions his brother was about to ask him. Strangely, they didn’t come during the first two miles on the road. He clearly saw that Dean was smiling like an idiot, waiting for juicy gossips.

 

“Okay. What do you want to know, Dean?” Sam finally asked, exasperated.

 

“Nothing. Nothing, Sammy.” His smile grew bigger on his face. Sam found it annoying, he used to that a lot to tease him since they were kids. He looked in the dark outside a way to leave the car on the move without being hurt too much. _I definitely can walk for the last 35 miles even with a broken knee or something._

 

“Mom is very happy to be back on earth for four years and become a grandmother already.” Dean finally said.

“Nothing is sure yet. Maybe the whole thing didn’t work. And we will have to find a new way to save Heaven that isn’t a multiple hundreds years old spell.” Sam answered, drawing with his index on the window covered with vapor.

“You aren’t feeling okay, this is the only reason I’m not kicking you out of my car for doing that with your ugly fingers.” He sighed for a quick moment, taking a more  serious tone to talk with his brother next. “Tell me what’s on your mind, Sam. Are you regretting your decision?”

 

Sam shook his head. “No, I don’t. I always said that I would do anything for Cas, this is even more true today. I just don’t want to get my hopes high before having news from Heaven. This is just so me, Dean. I always have hopes to build something meaningful and my bad luck come and bit me in the ass every single times. I want to be careful. The happiness I always wanted is so close, I just want to make sure it’s for me. For real this time.” He snorted.

 

His big brother sighed sadly, and they drove silently to the bunker, Sam falling asleep his cheek against the wet window of the Impala.

 •••

Three days past since the hearing. It was the end of the afternoon. Sam started his day with a footing, a smoothie, another footing and another smoothie. It was his favorite way of decompressing, running on the path he arranged around the bunker. He could use the musculation room inside but Sam prefered the fresh air of the morning sun, with his beanie and his earphones filled with music Dean would probably banish him for.

He was now working, doing researches for the Unit 2 of the Alternative Hunters. A squad of -super- boosted werewolves in Toledo were feeding on the locals, and they were missing informations. He ended sending his emails to Bobby and closed his computer. Sam stretched his body, his movements interrupted by the noise of the heavy door of the bunker opening. He check the clock, frowning his eyebrows. It was only 4:46pm, it was too soon for Dean to be home yet. He laughed, trying to convincing himself that he forgot that the angel was coming today. Without any surprises, Castiel was going down the stairs, his hands filled with supermarket bags.

 

“Hello, Sam” Castiel said, clearly excited about his buyings.

“Hey Cas.” He said with calm, not trying to let the urge of hugging him showing on his face.

 

He took a few steps to grab two of Cas’ bags. He curiously looked inside when he waved at the angel to follow in the kitchen. He put the plastic sacks on the table, putting the goods in order on it. Sam couldn’t stop laughing when he saw Castiel acting like a child when he watched Sam gradually realizing what he did.

 

“Cas… what is all that?” He asked intrigued when he unwrapped the fourth pot of jelly, apricots/peaches flavor this time.

“I was getting impatient in Heaven. I saw Elle for the last time yesterday but then I couldn’t see her, because of the tests. So I went here sooner. I stopped in the supermarket nearby, and  I bought a lot of sliced bread, a lot of jelly and a lot more of peanut butter.” He clapped his hands, taking a pot he put away on a cupboard.

 

Sam was amused, cleaning the space up. He was close to unpack the last bag but Castiel stopped him with panic.

 

“No. Not this one.” He put the bag behind him, staring at Sam. “Anael will come during the night, with Elle. I would like to know if you want me to stay here until tomorrow? We can eat and watch some Netflix. It’s been very long since the last time we actually spent time together, Sam. I miss it.”

 

His face slightly reddened, playing nervously with the handles of the bag he was hiding. Sam burst into laughters.

 

“What’s so funny?” Cas asked.

“You can’t possibly ask me if you can spend time in your home, Cas. You know you have a room here? You don’t sleep but you can rest here any time.” He took a few steps, reducing the closeness between them. He stood in front of the angel, smiling. “This is very sweet of you. And yes, of course you can stay.”

 

Castiel freed a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

 

“Yeah, I know I have a room, but it’s cold and looks like a prison. Actually watching tv in your sheets is a more enjoyable experiment.” Cas snorted, brushing his arm against Sam’s when he crossed him to reach the stairs.

 

He sped up to hide the mysterious bag he was holding in one of the rooms close to the kitchen, before joining the hunter again. Sam was smiling stupidly, shaking his head in the air multiple times.

 

“You are adorable. You know that?” Sam asked him, letting a hand resting on the angel’s shoulder.

 

“The cashier told me the same thing earlier” he shrugged, following Sam in the library.

 

The man of letters smirked, thinking that Cas is lucky to be a newbie human being/angel so he doesn’t have to take personally this unconscious attempt of making him jealous. _Not that it will work… maybe a little._ He sat on the chair, opening his computer for the sixth time today. Castiel sat next to him, looking over his shoulder what he was typing.

 

“I have to end helping the hunters, then I’m all yours all night.” Sam said, going through the Dallas police department’s classified website.

 

“I’d love that. Can I help you with anything?” Cas proposed.

 

“Uh, Maggie and Ryan are on a hunting trip for two days now. They found a nest of werewolves they are spying on. I have to give Bobby and mom some informations about the leader Callum. I am very close of decoding his file on the cops’ database.” Sam answered, typing harder on his keyboard.

 

“I’ve heard of him in Heaven. Apparently he was one of the last hybrids Michael created before he died. He ran away somewhere in Connecticut. He moved across the country a lot, turning a human, oper city, twice a week.” Cas said, while Sam summarized his words into another email. “They should be safe. He is very dangerous. He worshipped Michael and he won’t stop before he created a new army ready for revenge.”

 

Sam nodded, sending the last informations to Bobby and Maggie. He closed his computer once again. _For real this time_ , turning his face to meet Castiel’s look.

 

“I guess this will be enough for today. Ketch will join them tomorrow anyway. They will be fine.” He smiled, continuing. “We have more important issues to deal with today.”

 

“Are you nervous?” Cas asked, his look drowning into the Hazel’s eyes in front of him.

 

“Yeah. I am nervous that it didn’t work, and I’m even more nervous that it did.” He whispered. Castiel gave him a reassuring smile.

 

“We have all night long to talk about this before they arrive. It’s gonna be okay, Sam. No matter what.” Cas said, his hand ready to meet Sam’s. It was of course the same timing that the ringtone of his phone. He sighed, grabbing his phone next to him.

 

~ _Sammy? After work, Donna, Jody, the girls and I will go in Plano for a little Friday night in a club. Want to join?_

_~ No. Thank you, Dean. Say hi to me for them._

_~ Okay. I have some clothes in the car so I won’t be back in the bunker for the night. Probably be there in the afternoon. Still spending your Friday nights alone, uh? You should stop working a little._

_~ I am not. Castiel is here._

_~ Good. HI CAS!_ Dean screamed. _See you both tomorrow._

 

He ended the phone call, and Sam threw away the phone on the armchair nearby.

 

“As you heard, Dean is out tonight. So it’s just us. You know what? I’m gonna take a quick shower, put some cosy clothes on and we will meet in my bedroom in twenty minutes.” Sam said, walking towards the bathroom.

 

Cas walked a few steps next to him, stopping in the kitchen.

 

“I will make some toasts then. Not that I’m really hungry, but I really want it.” He snickered.

 

“That’s sounds good. See you real quick” Sam said, his voice already lost in the corridor.

 

As planned he took fifteen minutes under the warm good water pressure of the bunker’s shower. He grabbed a black sweatpant, new socks and a red t-shirt and put them on quickly, impatient to have a night peaceful with Castiel. He took two more minutes to dry his long hair, not really wanted to catch a cold. Once his long brunette hair were not wet anymore, he joined the room 21. He clearly didn’t believe what he saw. The toasts with peanut butter and all type of jelly were on a plate put on the bed table. _This was normal._ The tv he recently put on his bedroom was on Netflix’s home page. _This was normal._ Castiel’s trench coat on the back of his chair was already weird. The angel never took off his trench coat before, neither his blue tie, neither his jacket or his white shirt. Or his pant. Sam stopped in the middle of his door’s framework, waving his hands on the air with confusion. Castiel was hiding under his sheets. He couldn’t even see his toes, just his face poking out of the blanket.

 

“Cas… are you naked in my bed, right now?” _not that I’m complaining but…_ Sam asked, a little confused.

 

The angel cleared his throat. “No… but I’m-“ he stopped when he noticed that Sam came closer to the bed trying to get rid of the blanket. He held on so he wouldn’t take it away. “You know the bag I had, sooner? I bought something because I read that humans like wearing those in bed. That it was cozy. But I am just ridiculous and I didn’t have time to change before you ended up here.”

 

Sam couldn’t stop smiling in front of Castiel acting like a four years old baby.

 

“Cas, you know you can trust me.” Sam said with a soft voice the angel couldn’t resist.

 

He mumbled some words in enochians, while he was slowly straightening up. Sam pretended to be offended.

 

“Did you insulted me in a language I can’t understand?”

“Pretty much, yeah.” He laughed, now standing next to the bed. “I am ridiculous, right?” He asked Sam genuinely concerned.

 

Sam was trying very hard.  Very very hard not to laugh again.

 

“What… what is it?” Sam asked to be sure, even if the whole outfit was explicit enough.

“Rainbow unicorn fleece onesie union suit Pajama. I asked the seller something comfortable to spend the night with another man. He told me that you’d like it but apparently I was fooled.”

 

Sam wasn’t sure he heard the last words of Castiel because of the loud sound of his laughters. Some tears were rolling down his cheeks. The angel of the lord was in a black onesie printed with unicorns with a multicolored corn on his hood, and rainbows on his ankles and his wrists. He calmed himself down when he noticed that Castiel was sincerely starting to look hurt. Sam pouted, the whole scene being moving. He dried some tears with the sleeve of his t-shirt and turned off the lights after he turned on the one from his bedside lamp. He lay on his bed, making a room for the angel. He tapped the empty space next to him.

 

“Come here.” Sam whispered. “I apologized for the laughs. I just wasn’t expecting this at all. I was surprised. But honestly ? It looks good on you Cas. You really look good.” He stared at him a few seconds, making him understand that he was serious. Castiel hid a smile in the corner of his mouth, grabbing a peanut butter and strawberries jelly toast before he lay down on the bed next to Sam. He put the sandwich on his mouth, moaning when the taste of the meal reached his palate. Instinctively, he came a little closer to Sam. He was feeling good in that particular spot. Sam smiled, shivering for a moment when he felt Castiel’s head finding his way to his chest, a few breadcrumbs falling  on his shirt. He grabbed the blanket to cover his legs a little bit, his chin on top of Castiel’s hair after he removed the hood of them. He groped around for the remote control, his look now on Netflix’s home page.

 

“What do you want to watch?” He asked, waiting for the angel to end his second toast. “My little pony?” Sam snorted.

 

“No. I want to see Bird box again. This movie is fascinating, as Sandra Bullock.”

“Bird Box it is.” Sam smiled, putting the remote away once the film started.

 

Sam ate one toast before the hungry angel ended them all. He frowned his eyebrows, trying to remember the last time he was actually eating with hunger. He rolled his eyes, deciding to not overthink things. Castiel, when his hands were free from the food, put one of them on Sam’s waist and the other on the lower part of his stomach. He was playing with the elastic band of his sweet pant, captivating by the movie. A few more shivers went through Sam’s spine, not really used to that proximity he was however craving. He slid a hand on Cas’ hair, his legs starting to feel numb. He wiggled his legs for a few seconds, until they ended intertwined with Cas’s. They both were satisfied of this position, and they ended the movie like this, without moving, except when each other fingers were looking for a part of skin to touch or a bit clothes to play with. It was the first time that Sam was hugging Castiel without his huge trench coat on. It felt different, better even. He was feeling Castiel’s grace running through his vessel, warming it up. He was feeling his muscles under his pajama, brushing against his body, and he is sure he never felt better. Sam murmured quickly, almost for himself.

 

“Oh my god, can this never ends.”

 

Castiel smirked against his chest, almost tempted to put a kiss right there on his T-shirt who still smelled like cinnamon from his shower. His thoughts were scrambled. He jumped, putting his fingers on his temples.

 

“Angel radio?” Sam asked, breaking their embrace.

He nodded. “Elle and Anael are coming.”

 

They both got up quickly. Sam joined the war room fast. Castiel joined him a few minutes later, back on his usual outfit.

 

“Sam, Castiel.” Anael greeted them, her red hair flying with the movements of her head. “I guess I will let Elle breaking the news.” She smiled.

 

Elle cleared her throat, looking simultaneously at Sam and Cas. “It worked perfectly.” She put a hand on her belly. “I am pregnant.”

 

Hopefully for the four of them, the noises of the machines around were breaking the heavy silence. Sam wasn’t sure to remember how to breathe properly.

 

“Son of a bitch” he finally said, processing.

 

Castiel walked quickly towards the brunette and hugged her carefully. He raised his eyes to meet the bigger smile of his sister Ana, miming _Congratulations Castiel_ with her red lips.

 

“I think I knew it. I _felt_ it. I was so afraid to be wrong.” He released his words in a relieved sigh, before joining Sam’s sides once again. A few minute passed and Sam wasn’t fully back to himself yet. Slightly worried, Castiel put his hand in Sam’s, intertwining their fingers slowly. He let his thumb rubbing the back of the hunter’s hand.

 

“Sam… are you alright ?” He whispered.

“Yeah… yes I am okay. Don’t worry Cas. I am just-“ he squeezed his hand in the angel’s, looking at Elle. “I am glad you are okay and that this worked. We really did that.” He laughed, and Elle laughed with him.

 

“What’s happening now?” Sam asked, looking at Ana.

 

“There is still a lot of demons and monsters on earth. It’s safer for her to be with us in the Attic for now. The pregnancy will literally influenced the whole planet, but the damages would be less impactful upside.” Anael answered.

“Do not worry, Sam. I will go in Heaven every day to check on her and the progeny for us. If anything happens we will come back here.” Castiel said.

 

Sam nodded, his hand feeling clammy.

 

“And as planned, Elle will have her first terrestrial sonogram with you two in twelve weeks. We will check the angelic aspects of the kid but a human gynecologist will be mandatory. Do you have any others questions?” Anael asked.

 

“A million” Sam snorted. “I am sure we will figure this all out the next nine months. I was just wondering if” he looked at Cas, searching for his approval. “if we can plan a diner one night with Elle, my brother and us? I was overwhelmed the other day by the events and I noticed that I didn’t give her enough attention. And not enough respect. I want to make amends for that. And actually know her. Is that possible?” He bit his lips, Castiel offering him a smile.

 

“This is an excellent idea.” The angel whispered against his ear, waiting for his sibling to answer.

 

“I think this would be wonderful, Sam. I will set up the arrangements with Naomi, but this shouldn’t be an issue if we find someplace quiet. I will let you know.” Anael said, waiting for Elle to talk before they could leave.

 

“I am happy for you two.” Elle said, making a few steps to reach Castiel’s and Sam’s cheeks she covered with a kiss. “I really am. I am sure your nephilim will be perfection, and powerful.I already feel it.” She smiled to them both and left with Anael.

 

“We should call Dean”

“We should call Dean.”

 

The angel and the hunter laughed when they realized they talked in the same time, and they grabbed Sam’s phone to call him, both really excited to share the news with someone they love a lot.

 

 _~ what’s up Sammy?_ Dean said, stepping away from the crowd to hear the conversation more clearly.

 _~ We just saw Elle. It’s good. It’s all good. She is healthy and she’s expecting the nephilim._ Sam announced, proudly.

 _~ the wh- Son of a bitch… SON OF A BITCH!_ He screamed. The speaker on, both Sam and Castiel where laughing when Dean started yelling in the club. _Donna! Jody! I’m gonna be an uncle. My little brother is having a kid… with my best friend… who is a dude… and an angel. And they aren’t even dating…_ Maybe he was a bit too much wasted already, talking in the same time with his waywards friends. _Well, another perfect normal day for us, isn’t it? It will be clearer when the booze will be out of my system. This is fan-freakin-tastic fellas. I will drink for ya tonight and we will celebrate again tomorrow._

 _~ yeah,_ Sam laughed, _be safe dude._

 

Sam turned off the phone, and put his now free hand on his cheek. Castiel squeezed their fingers still intertwined. Sam was trying to drown his hazel eyes into Castiel’s, but the angel was staring at Sam’s mouth, desperately wanted to lock their lips together. He wanted it so bad for so long but he didn’t know if it’s what his mate wanted. He ended looking up, a little smile at the corner of his mouth.

 

“We actually did that…” Sam whispered, his mouth so close of his facing that Castiel was feeling Sam’s breathe brushing his lips. “You can’t possibly imagine how I feel. Building something this important with someone like you. Someone that matters so much. Thank you, Castiel. You may have saved Heaven, Earth and even Hell today but I think you just saved me more.”

 

His entire being shivering and completely out of words, the angel roughly huddled against Sam’s body.

 

They both stayed still in each other arms, ready for this new step in their relationship.

 

•••

 

The next twelve weeks were very long for Sam and Castiel. As promised, the angel was coming back and forth between the Attic and the bunker. He was bringing Elle new clothes and food - most of the times Sam’s healthy food he only allowed. Castiel was teasing him saying that _he would be his fault if the kid turned into a green plant_ everytime Sam asked him to bring her green smoothie. Castiel was spending a few hours with her, telling her stories about the universe. He loved seeing her belly growing more and more each times he stept by. He told her that he was excited for Sam to see it, regretting that he couldn’t be with him there, in the room she stayed in. Anael was taking care of her all the time. The angels brought fournitures from a supermarket in a old paradise they converted especially for her comfort. It was vital for all the angels that she was in a good place. Not only because the nephilim was their salvation, but because it was their niece or nephew to be and most importantly it was Castiel’s child. And despite everything that happened, they still respect him a lot, especially when they noticed the good influence Sam had on his behavior, and how it was possible to be an angel and have a good amount of free will. They admired him and took their responsibilities seriously even if officially Naomi was ruling even, Castiel was the one they truly listened too.

 

It was finally March 3rd. Sam and Cas borrowed the impala, and drove in town for their appointment with the doctor Zenere. It wasn’t a surprise that Anael and Elle were there, the night being here for almost an hour. They knocked at the main door, and the fifty years old lady opened the door, welcoming them in. They thanked her warmly and they sat on the two seats next to the examination table. Sam gave Elle’s a quick hug, whispering that he is delighted to see her.

 

“This is Catherine Zenere” Anael announced, standing next to the door. “She is gynecologist and a doctor who helped a lot of angels when they fell. She’s a good human.”

 

The doctor thanked her while she was turning on the power of her machines. Totally excited, Sam put his hand on Castiel’s thigh, trying to stop his right leg from shaking considering how he nervous was.

 

He whispered. “Castiel… her belly is so big already. And it’s only been three months.”

 

He giggled while Mrs Zenere applied some specific gel on Elle’s abdomen. Right after she installed the transducer and she moved it to capture black and white images onto the ultrasound screen. Sam was looking simultaneously at the screen, the doctor and the surrogate but his face was stuck on the screen when he first image of the child appeared. He sank his nails in Cas’ jeans. Castiel was staring at the screen too, a smile growing on his lips.

 

“It looks so little. So tiny.” He muttered.

 

Elle wasn’t looking at the screen at all, strangely very detached of the situation, but she was looking at Sam and Castiel. Their faces were so soft that it made her smile. The doctor moved her hands on her belly and cleared her throat.

 

“See, the baby is doing perfectly fine. The conception was enough for creating a vessel strong enough to contain the powerful grace of the nephilim. I studied the manuscript of Etta Schalom you translated mister Winchester and I think we were right. The pregnancy most likely will be over in three months. The fœtus is developing itself more fast than a human. Elle will be due on June 4th or 5th. There are the foot. The hands. And the human heart is perfectly working.” She explained while she turned on the sound of the ultrasounds.

 

When they heard the heartbeats, they both were close to faint. The sound was perfectly normal but also extremely loud, resonating between the walls of the office.  

 

”Fuck” Sam apologized when he got rid of a tear at the edge of his eye.

 

“I have to ask… Can we know the gender of the child, yet? We, as angels do not own any gender identify but we have our preferences for vessels.” Castiel asked.

 

“Yes. You can know if you want to.” She answered.

 

Castiel snorted, his eyes on Sam now.

 

“Do you... want to know?” He asked, his hand joining Sam’s. The hunter nodded, rubbing the angel’s thigh with the end of his fingers.

 

“Yes, I would love that. Plus Dean and I made a bet about that” he laughed.

 

“What type of bet did you made?” The doctor asked, wiping Elle’s bell with a piece of pepper.

 

“My brother bet fifty bucks that it was a boy. I bet the opposite.” He answered, laughing when he noticed Cas rolling his eyes.

 

Catherine muffled a laugh, moving closer to the print to get the pictures of the sonogram. She gave them to Cas and Sam, smiling.

 

“I suppose that your brother owes you money.” She winked.

 

He took a few moment to realize what does it meant, and Castiel broke the news, almost screaming.

 

“It’s a girl! It’s a girl! It’s a girl!”

 

The angel clapped his hands, and soon stood up, too excited to stay still. Sam stood up too and gave a quick kiss on Elle’s cheek.

 

“Thank you very much. I will use that money to buy you a diner.”

 

Sam laughed, thanking once again everyone in the room. Elle and Anael laughed too. They all left the place after some warm goodbyes. The ride home was even more joyful. Sam parked Baby in the garage once they got home and they walked in the direction of the kitchen where Dean was eating his dinner. The oldest Winchester could hear their argument in the corridors before they both entered the room and their conversation became clearer.

 

“Cas. Listen to me. You are alive for a thousand years. Have you ever, EVER heard anyone named PB&J? No. Because people don’t call their children PB&J”

 

Dean burst into laughters when he saw the disappointment on his best-friend face.

 

“Parenting between you two, it’s gonna be fun. So, where is the money Sammy?” Dean asked his hand on the air, pretending to beg for it.

 

“Don’t bother. You lost. It’s a baby girl. I took the 50$ in your hidden place in the car.” Sam snorted, laughing even when Dean threw some cold french fries at his face.

 

“You are so lucky I’m glad to have a niece because I told you to not touch my secret place nor my money you bitch.” He rolled his eyes, putting his dirty plate in the sink. “There is some salad in the fridge if you are hungry. And there is a burger for you Cas. I know you aren’t a giant rabbit like this one. And eat actual food. No, really. I am really happy for you, guys. You are handling this well. She will be a lucky baby to have you both.” Dean smiled at his brother and he tapped the angel’s arm and joined his room for a good night of sleep.

 

Sam looked at the door of the fridge, and shook his head.

 

“I think I’m good. Do you want anything?” Sam asked.

 

The angel shook negatively his head and Sam continued, yawning for a few seconds.

 

“Isn’t it time for you to go in Heaven?” He asked.

 

The angel took a step closer to him.

 

“Not really, no. I wasn’t planning on going there tonight. We saw her two hours ago. She will be fine.” He answered, sounding tired.

 

“Good! Uh, I mean. You can stay around and watch some tv. Your bedroom is super clean.” He massages the back of his head, clearing his throat. “Or you can come with me? In my room, I mean. If-“

 

He was interrupted by Castiel’s answer. “You are kind to ask, Sam. But I was going to crash your bed anyway. I already told you that I hated my room. Mostly because you aren’t there in it with me.”

 

Sam blushed and followed Castiel towards his bedroom. He stopped on the bathroom first, taking the time for a tad of toilette and put the top of a pajama and a clean underwear on. He joined his bedroom right after. Like an new habit he took, Castiel was undressed. He was sitting on the sheets with a pillow covering his private parts. Considering his naked legs, and his naked chest, Cas was only wearing an underwear. He asked the angel to turn on the lights of the bedside lamp and he slid under the sheets once he turned off the main light of the room. Cas imitated his mate and slid under the sheets. He threw away the pillow he was holding now that his favorite one was in place. He put his head on Sam’s chest, his cheek resting on Sam’s pectoral. He put his fingers on the hunter’s T-shirt, nestling against him more. His lower abdomen was now completely crashing against Sam’s thigh. Sam put a free hand on his mouth shutting down a quick moan when he felt the contours of Castiel’s genitals against his bare upper leg. _Damn it, Cas_. The hunter shook his head slowly, covering their bodies with a blanket. He put a hand on Castiel’s back, sketching “HI” on it with his nails, barely brushing his skin.

 

“Hi to you too, Sam.” He said.

 

Sam laughed, always amused by the angel and his ability to say and do stuff like that. He stopped his movements and just rest his hand in the middle of his spinal column. Sam was looking at the ceiling, thinking about all the events of the day. Castiel was doing the same, thinking, his hand now on Sam’s stomach. Annoyed by his T-shirt, he pulled it up a little bit so the tip of his index could access Sam’s bare skin. He was rubbing the line of skin above his elastic band.

 

“Sam?” He asked quietly.

“Yeah?” Sam answered, swallowing with difficulty.

“When she will be here, I’d like to come here more often. And by more often I mean, I want you and I to raise her, here. Not in Heaven, not in the first years at least. Do you think Dean would agree? I know he doesn’t really like strangers in his place.”

“What th- Cas. How can you possibly think that?! This is our home. Dean’s, mine and yours. You are family for him. You know that? You and our daughter will stay here. This isn’t negotiable in any way. I can’t believe I have to tell you this.” Sam sighed sadly, seeing how worthless the angel seemed to feel even if he was around them for 12 years. He squeezed the angel’s body against his, comforting him.

 

Sam felt that Cas movements stopped.

 

“What. Did I said something wrong?” He asked, a little anxious.

 

“No. It’s just.. it’s the first time you say “our”.” Cas muffled.

 

Sam smiled, resting his chin on the top on the angel’s head.

 

“Because she is, our daughter. She may be the future world's’ savior but for now she is just a mi human/mi-angel baby that will need diapers and she will be ours until the end of time. You will be the cool dad buying her cookies and I will be the one making her braids and making her do her homeworks. Dean will be the uncle protecting her from boys or girls that would like to date her, even if you know she will be the most powerful being on earth and would be able to blow their brains off.” He laughed. “I wouldn’t have done this with anyone else on earth, I hope you know that.”

 

Castiel smiled, feeling reassured deeply. “What about Jess? You never wanted a family with her?”

 

He started his movements on Sam’s lower stomach again and the hunter shivered. It was worst - _not really_ \- when he felt Cas’ nonchalantly going down on his other thigh. He put his hand between Sam’s legs that were completely stick together, just under his boxer. His thumb was grazing Sam’s underwear, and considering the hunters’ tense body now, he definitely felt it. Satisfied of his position, the angel closed his eyes, one hand resting between Sam’s thighs and one hand on his stomach.

 

After a few minutes of concentration, and ignoring _how much he was liking_ the position he answered.

 

“No. Uh. I mean not really. Jess and I, we were lovers at school. I enjoyed the time I spent with her. I cared for her. But she wasn’t the first person I’ve dated on the campus and I knew that it wouldn’t be the last either.”

 

Cas nodded, starting to fall asleep. Sam frowned his eyebrows when he noticed ten minutes later that the angel was snoring.

 

“Cas?...” he asked, shaking his shoulder slowly.

 

The angel didn’t move, his sleep was too much profound. The hunter sighed, worried, and put his hand on his forehead, first wanting to sweep his hair away. He frowned more when he noticed that Cas’ forehead was boiling even though his whole body felt cold.

 

“First you eat, now you sleep and you seem sick? This isn’t normal at all Cas. Angels do not do that. Something is wrong.” He told at loud for himself.

 

He could felt his heart racing a little bit on his chest. He checked the clock on his desk and saw that it was 03:42 am. He decided that this would be waiting later today, because right now, for the first time as he can remember, the angel was physically exhausted. And needed sleep. The dropped a fast kiss on Cas’ sleepy head and fell asleep too.

 

Sam woke up a few hours later. According to his clock, 3 hours and 10 minutes later. He sighed, still really tired and carefully stretched himself after he noticed that Castiel was still asleep against him, not wanting to wake him up yet. He adjusted his pillow against his back and he smiled looking down at the angel, slowly stroking his cheek. The room was quiet except for the sound of Castiel’s mix of breathes and snores. Sam closed his eyes for a second, trying to understand when he became lucky enough to have the man he loved in his arms. He imagined that so many times, but the reality was even better. How was he supposed to date an angel? He doesn’t believe that Castiel would want him one day. _We will have a child, together. A little girl. This is insane_ Sam was thinking, his fingers tenderly rubbing Castiel’s chin. _At some point you would have asked me to marry you right away and I would have said yes without a hesitation. I’d do anything to be close to you._ He bit the corner of his lip, feeling overwhelmed by his emotions. He realized five minutes later that his chest was wet. He put his hand in Castiel’s hair by reflexes, and he noticed the sweat on it, and on his forehead.

 

“Cas?... please, wake up.” His words were resonating with panic. “Cas…”

 

Sam put another hand on his shoulder, shaking them roughly. He heard the angel moaning but he still didn’t open his eyes. He didn’t want to move, nor let the angel alone so he grabbed his phone texting his brother who was in his bedroom nearby, praying that he was awake.

 

_[Dean, something is wrong with Cas. First of all he’s asleep and he seemed to have a huge fever. He’s sweating and doesn’t seem to wake up. Can you please come with cold water and some towels. Pls.]_

 

He threw away his phone and took away the blanket that was covering them, trying to cool down the temperature of his body. His shaking hand was under the angel’s neck, and he was whispering comforting words on his ear. Dean arrived in his bedroom six minutes later, apologizing for the delay. He put a clean towel in the water filled with ice cubes and handed it over to Sam. The tall hunter put it on Castiel’s forehead while Dean sat at the end of the bed, still in his pajama.

 

“Sammy, what is happening?” Dean asked, concerned.

“I don’t know. We were talking sooner. And he just- he just fell asleep. He is breathing, he seems conscious  but he just cannot wake up. And there is the fever. I really don’t know…” he answered, soaking the towel in the water once again before putting it back on his forehead.

 

Dean sighed sadly. “It’s gonna be okay, buddy.”

 

Sam repeated the action a few times while his brother was calling around to have some clues. Hopefully for them, the angel opened his eyes twenty minutes later. The two Winchester were relieved when Cas stretched and straightened up. Sam put a hand on his back to help him while the angel was leaning on the bed. He put a hand on his hurting head.

 

“It is unpleasant.” Castiel said, barely audible. He looked around and noticed the worried face of Sam and Dean.

 

“Cas! You are awake. Finally.” Sam almost screamed.

“You were out for a long time.” Dean continued. “You scared the hell out of us.”

 

Castiel frowned at them both.

 

“I am sorry.” He mumbled.

 

“I am glad you are okay. I have to get ready to go to work, but if there’s anything just call me Sam. I’d come right away.” Dean offered.

 

“Thank you Dean. For the help.” He answered and Dean winked before he left the room.

 

Once he disappeared from his sight he stared at Castiel.

“Do not do that ever again.” He almost begged. “Tell me what is wrong with you. Are you feeling okay?.”

 

Castiel lowered his eyes. “Yes, I’m doing okay. I don’t know, Sam. I just felt extremely tired and I fell. I am sorry I scared you.” He noticed Sam’s shirt was wet. “I am sorry about your clothes do. I know how to make a laundry. I will make th-“

 

Sam interrupted him. “I don’t care about that. All that matters is that you are fine.” He sighed, and he stood up. “I’m gonna get you something to drink. Do not move from here.”

 

Castiel put a hand in front his mouth and coughed. He looked inside of his palm and noticed a few drops on blood in it. He hid his hand quickly and smiled to Sam.

 

“I am not going anywhere, Sam.”

 

Sam gave him back a smile and walked towards the kitchen. The angel double checked that Sam was gone and he grabbed his angel blade inside his trench coat inner pocket. He relaxed his forearm and used the tip of the weapon to cut a little part of his wrist. The wound was bleeding and his grace was shining for a few seconds before it totally faded. _Crap._

 

  * ••



 

**April 17th.**

 

“Sam, let’s go!” Castiel yelled with impatience, waiting next to the Chevrolet in the bunker’s garage.

 

The hunter appeared behind him a few minutes later, laughing.

 

“Slow down there cowboy. It’s only 3. We have all afternoon.”

 

They both sat on the car and Sam took off at full speed. He drove to the mall in town and parked the vehicle in the first parking spot he saw. He and Castiel entered in the giant shopping mall. It was the first time the angel was in a place so crowded with humans. He was looking around the people and their behaviors. He was interested in discovering how they act when they aren’t threatened by the apocalypse or another war. How humans spent their days for fun. He was following Sam, the hunter leading them towards the Do-it-yourself store. He observed a couple in the corner of a bakery. The blond and pretty woman was kissing his boyfriend with tenderness. They both laughed because they ate beignets before and their slips were sticky. He smiled discreetly and looked up to watch the profile of Sam’s face. The hunter was sighing, searching the right front window between all those stores. Castiel’s smile grew bigger when their fingers and their shoulders were bumping against each other while they were walking.

 

“Finally!” Sam cried out.

 

They entered in the store they were looking for. Sam and Castiel decided a week ago it was time for them to make a big change in the bunker. It was a men of letters’ place, not equipped for a baby. It was old, dusty, and all the rooms were similar, filled with weapons and books. The atmosphere was cold even for the brothers. They wanted something else for their daughter. A place cozy, and safe. Sam took a shopping basket in one hand and took Castiel’s hand in the other one while they were walking in the first department.

 

“I think we should look for a crib first. And the heavy equipment the shop will deliver home.” Sam proposed.

 

Castiel squeezed his hand, agreeing. They approached differents types cradles.

 

“Oh my- I want all of them.” almost screamed Sam.

Castiel titled his head, answering naturally. “We must make others children then.”

 

Sam looked down at Castiel for a second and burst into laughters, letting go his hand in the angel’s to put it on a wooden crib. He let his fingers touch the white bars and Castiel imitated the gesture. They both agreed that this was the one they wanted. It was very simple, with glittery and golden wings carved on the right side of the little bed - it felt appropriate.

 

“He is beautiful.” The angel whispered.

 

Sam nodded and asked a seller to keep it for them. The shopping continued for a few more hours. Sam thanked  multiple times the Men of letters for the money they kept — the tons of it — in the bunker’s safebox. They found most of the items they had on their list. A bed, mandatory. They choose different types of linen. Castiel was thrilled when he found a little gray blanket with bees on it. Sam smiled when he saw the angel running through the departments like a kid in a candy shop. The angel put a lot of stuffed animals in the shopping basket. A lot of clothes. The hunter picked the shoes and the coats. Every time they picked something, Sam and Castiel were looking for each other approval, they wanted it to be perfect. Sam took a few seconds to breathe when he picked a set of dummies. It suddenly hit him that in a few weeks, he will be a dad. Something he never thought would happen. He always thought that he was cursed. He felt like an angel of death. Every relationships he ever wanted were ending with death. He turned to Cas, observing the angel kneeled in front of some kid toys. Sam smiled tenderly, feeling strangely safe. And happy. The love he had for the angel always was his anchor. He didn’t believe in happiness, he didn’t believe he had a future either but he wanted it so bad with Castiel that it kept his head above water. It gave him hope, and this is all he needed. He didn’t know what he was for Cas. But for now it didn’t matter. The truth was that Sam was afraid to be rejected by the one person he desired the most. He knew he couldn’t handle it. He would die, honestly. Sam got out of his thoughts when Castiel joined him with some toys. They paid everything they needed and left the store, then the mall. Sam put the bags on the trunk.

 

“The impala is here” Castiel said. “Dean should be here too.”

 

Sam nodded and closed the car. It was time for them to have the dinner with Elle Sam wanted. The two of them entered in the mall once again, now free of their shopping supplies. They walked in for a few minutes until they reached the restaurant. Dean, who were already sat at their table, waved at his brother. Cas and Sam sat next to each other on the bench.

 

“Hey.” Dean greeted them.

“Hello Dean” Castiel answered, and Sam did the same. “Elle and Ana must be there in a minute.”

“Good.” Dean said, grabbing the menu. “Damn, I’m starving.”

“Is there any moment you’re not? Honestly.” Sam teased him.

 

Dean ignored his little brother and browsed the suggestions of meal. Anael and Elle arrived a few minutes later, smiling to the three of them. The red haired angel sat next to Dean while Elle sat on the chair. It was easier for her with her huge belly. Sam and Castiel said hello to her but their eyes couldn’t stop looking at her stomach in awe.

 

“Sam, Castiel. It’s good to see you both.” She laughed when she noticed the parents to be completely numb.

 

Finally, Sam said. “It’s good to see you too, Elle.”

 

They all chose their meal except for Anael, and the pretty waitress with her purple hair — Jade according to her name — brought them their orders. Sam started his turkey/spinach salad but after two bits his curiosity was hitting him so hard. He put his fork on the corner of his plate and cleared his throat.

 

“Elle, uh — why did you chose this? You know how this will end.” He said, almost sadly.

 

Elle smiled discreetly, wiping her mouth with a towel. She looked at Sam.

 

“I know. I know there is no coming back from this. But I am doing this for Castiel. For Heaven. For my faith. And for my mom...” She said, looking at the angel now. “She died, not long ago. And she is in the Attic. I couldn’t risk it to blow up. When I am gone, Castiel will help and we will be reunited.” She smiled.

 

Castiel returned a smile to her and Sam too. Dean licked the barbecue sauce on his lips and look at the pregnant woman.

 

“Thank you. For doing this for my brother, and Cas.” Dean said, Sam giving him a thankful look.

 

“It’s my pleasure. And my duty towards God. But mostly my pleasure. And honestly, Castiel and Sam are the most adorable couple I have ever met.” She said.

 

Dean almost choked in while he was eating another bite of his medium rare steak.

 

“A what now?” He said, staring at them both.

 

Sam ended his tomato, staying calm in surface. Anael was quietly laughing in the corner of the bench when she saw her big brother blushing. Hopefully for them, a distraction happened. Elle dropped her cutlery on the ground with a painful and long groaning. She put a hand on the side of her belly, taking a few long breathes. Castiel threw away the food he was eating and ran next to her, kneeling on her side. Sam left his seat with precipitation and almost fell on the ground. He mirrored Castiel’s position on her other side.

 

“What is happening?  Are you okay?” Sam asked, panicking.

 

Elle’s breathing was irregular, and another painful groaning escaped her throat.

 

“I — this hurts. I…” She tried. “This isn’t the first time she’s kicking me but this time this is…”

 

A tear rolled down her cheek while she was writhing in agony. Anael, on Castiel’s orders, cloaked their table in the restaurant in prevention of any disaster. Dean, feeling a little bit helpless left his seat and took a glimpse of fresh water he put on Elle’s forehead. She pressured the side of her belly once again when she felt the child kicking her again. She screamed, so loudly that her temples were shaking. Castiel lifted up the sleeve of his trench coat, while Sam took Elle’s hand firmly in his. He whispered _it’s gonna be okay_ not sure if he was trying to calm her down her more than himself.

 

“Hey, my little one. It’s gonna be fine.” Castiel whispered barely audibly, putting his hand on Elle’s belly.

 

Sam noticed that Cas’ eyes shined, and with the celestial glowing going out of his hand he understood that the angel was transferring his grace into Elle’s body, the same process he did on church a few months back. Almost instantaneously, her breathing returned to normal. She took a long and deep breathe, thanking Castiel for the help. Relieved, Sam put his other hand on Castiel, intertwining their fingers against her stomach.

 

“Elle — I am sorry. The dinner was a bad idea. If I knew it would have been dangerous for you I—“ Sam started, but Castiel interrupted him, pressing their fingers.

 

“Sam, this isn’t your fault. This is the last bimester.” Castiel paused, coughing roughly. “This — it’s gonna be complicated.” The angel ended almost swallowing the last word.

 

“Cas, are you alright?” Sam asked, worried.

 

“Yes, I am Sam.” The angel smiled, coughing once again. Harder this time.

 

Castiel rubbed Elle’s belly with his thumb. A few seconds later, a little kick — gentle this time — appeared just under their fingers.

 

Sam jumped in surprise. “Did.. did you felt that?”

 

Castiel smiled “Yes. I think she is more calm now.”

 

Sam released a breath he was holding for the past seconds and put a gentle kiss on Elle’s cheek, then he lifted up their bounded fingers and kissed the back of Cas’ hand. Anael and Dean shared a secret look at each other, proud of their respective siblings.

 

“We should go back to Heaven, now.” He said, sorry for killing the mood now more peaceful.

 

“Uh — yeah sure. Sure.” Sam straightened up in the same moment Castiel did. He gave a quick hug to Elle and Ana.

 

“This isn’t safe anymore for her to be on earth until she gives birth. We will see you in June, Sam.” Anael said.

 

Sam nodded and stood next to his brother, looking for comfort. Dean put a hand on his shoulder, and the two females left the place.

 

Dean tapped Sam’s back gently.

 

“Sammy. I know that look. You are right to be afraid but I promise you, you got this. You will be good at it. And you will have Cas. I’m gonna pay, and we meet in the bunker in twenty alright” Dean said, and Sam nodded, thanking him.

 

His brother joined the branch and paid for their meal now that they were visible for humans. Castiel took a step closer to Sam.

 

“I must return to Heaven. Elle will need a constant assistance for the next weeks and I’m not sure Anael will be able to do it alone.” Cas tilted his head, looking at his mate.

 

“Yeah, uh, I know Cas. I know.” He smiled sadly, waiting for the angel to disappear.

 

“Cas wait.” He said.

The angel stopped. “Yes?”

“Take care of our daughter, please. And take care of yourself too.” He said his words tainted with nervousness, and added almost for himself “I — I can’t lose you.”

 

Castiel took another step closer until his hands reached Sam’s cheeks. He stood on tiptoe while he leaned the hunter’s face. He tenderly let his lips meet Sam’s forehead, stroking his face with the same tenderness. Once he broke the kiss, he stared at him.

 

“I would never let anything happen to her. I promise you, I will see keep our child safe.” He smiled to the hunter and left the place.

 

Sam, exhausted, joined his car and drove to the bunker.

 

•••

 

**May 1st.**

 

Sam is back in Lebanon after two weeks in Detroit. Mary and Jack needed help with Callum, the super-boosted Alpha they investigated for months. They lost a hunter, and more civilians. The hunt was complicated but now he is dead. Sam went downstairs, once he entered the bunker.

 

“Dean?” He asked, turning on the light in the war room.

 

No one responded. He threw away his bag on the maps table, put his coat on the chair and grabbed a beer on the fridge. He drank it all quickly and grabbed two others right away. He took his phone. No news from Castiel yet. He threw away his phone this time, and sighed. He massaged the back of his neck, walking towards the bathroom. Sam pulled his shirt out, his pants, underwear and socks following. He turned on the warm water, and slid under it for ten minutes. He was exhausted. And angry. Mostly because he wasn’t that much on the field lately and he wasn’t exactly ready to have the “Chief” status back even for a few days. Too much people were counting on him, and Ryan died because he wasn’t ready. He prepared the operation too fast, and they lost a team member because of it. Maybe it was a message from Chuck. That he wasn’t ready to be a father either. The world isn’t safe, even for a powerful nephilim. What if he can’t protect her? The idea that his baby girl would be hurt because of him was terrifying. He realized that he was crying when he tasted some salted tears in his mouth. He wiped his face off, thinking about how much he needed Castiel right now. How much he wanted the angel here, and explaining to him that he was sorry he wasn’t ready. He was scared and he wanted Castiel to hold him so hardly that his arms would have bruises.

Once he’s done with his shower, Sam put a clean sweet pant with a black T-shirt and joined the library to work on the demons’ manuscripts he was studying. Time passed he noticed when he heard his phone vibrating on the table under a ton of paper. — it was midnight. He received a message from Dean.

 

_[Sam, please go in the room 46. It’s an emergency.]_

 

Sam frowned his eyebrows, closed his book and walked fast to the room. He put his hand on the handle and opened the door slowly. He wasn’t expecting what he saw. The rocks on the walls were shining thanks to the varnish. The crib they bought with Castiel was in the corner of the room. Sam could see through the bars the new sheets, the blanket with the bees and two stuffed animals — the unicorn and the moose they chose. In the opposite side there was a huge sofa, with a wooden coffee table on a white rug. On that table there was a lot of cereals boxes, a bottle of milk and two bowls. Sam took a step in, almost shy. He noticed the fournitures around him, mostly anything required for a child. A few candles were turned on, making the room even more warm. He looked up for a second and noted that the ceiling wasn’t even a real ceiling anymore. Not really. It looks like a starry night, the same he could see outside. The stars were moving.

 

“What the —“ he started, but he was interrupted by a familiar voice in his back.

 

“Do you like it?” The voice said.

 

Sam held back a breathe and turned to face Castiel who was leaning on the door.

 

“You did all of this?” He asked, almost numb. “Why? I mean…”

 

Castiel nodded and invited Sam to sit on the couch. Castiel closed the door while Sam sat on the comfortable sofa. Castiel sat next to him, holding a packed present.

 

“Happy Birthday, Sam.” Castiel said, staring at him.

 

Sam kept his hazel eyes in the celestial blue ones and looked down at the present.

 

“I didn’t know you knew it— Thank you, Castiel.” He whispered, taking the present the angel was offering.

 

Sam unpacked it slowly, removing the tape and the paper until he reached the gift. He took the black beanie he found in it, a piece of fabric with the letters _S.W._ printed on it in a burgundy color.

 

“I know you like wearing those when you run every mornings.” Castiel added.

 

Sam put the beanie on the table and stayed still for a moment. “Yes, I do… it’s perfect.”

 

Sam leaned on until he reached Castiel’s cheek and kissed him tenderly, repeating _Thank you_ against his skin.

 

“When did you do all that? Cas, it’s beautiful.” He said, still awed by the room. Castiel smiled, his eyes on the hunter’s face.

 

“I tried to call you, when you were in Detroit. You were on a hunt, you all were busy so I called Dean. He told me that you started it, but you were running out of time. So I thought I’d prepare it for your birthday. Is that what you expected?” Castiel asked.

 

Sam nodded in silence first, dropping his slippers. He laid down on the sofa, his head resting on Castiel’s lap. The angel smiled, his fingers through Sam’s hair.

 

“It is. It’s everything I wanted.” Sam answered. “What about the sky, though?”

 

“A gift from my Father.” He answered simply.

 

The hunter closed his eyes for a moment, whispering for himself “I missed you so much, Cas.”

 

“My apologies, Sam. I couldn’t have come sooner. I missed you too.” He exhaled, his fingers stroking Sam’s neck.

 

“How are they?” Sam asked, the top of his back shivering.

 

“They are doing okay, but this is complicated, I won’t lie to you. Elle’s pregnancy is becoming more and more painful. Almost brutal. Her human body is weakening. She can’t barely eat anymore. But she is strong. Anael is looking after her.” The angel answered, feeling that Sam’s muscles were drawing tight under his fingers.

 

The hunter was holding his breath, almost suffocating inside. He felt his hands turning moist. He was panicking. He could feel it in his bones. Elle was in danger, so was his daughter. This isn’t something he could handle. And there was nothing he could do, because she was somewhere he can’t go. He was trusting Cas more than anything but a part of him felt selfish and angry. A protective dad instinct.

 

“Sam? Look at me.” Castiel whispered, worried.

 

Sam muttered, straightening from his position. He stood up entirely from the couch. He noticed that Castiel was ready to get up too, but the hunter prevented it. He needed a distraction. He didn’t want to break in front of the man he loved… he didn’t want to give him this image when Sam knew the angel said once that _he was strong._ He put a strong hand on Castiel’s shoulder, holding him back. Not ready to give up the contact with the angel yet, Sam put a knee on the right side of the couch, the other one on the left and he sat on Cas’ thighs. He was straddling Castiel. His lower abdomen crashed on Cas’s when he sat, and he was sure he heard the angel moaning for a short moment. Almost instinctively, the angel put his hand on the hunter’s butt cheeks. Sam couldn’t hide a smirk, and he put his forehead against Castiel’s, staring at him.

 

“I am looking at you. — I always did, even when you didn’t notice it actually.” Sam snorted.

 

“You are coping with pain, Sam. This isn’t much like you. Tell me what’s on your mind.” Cas whispered, one hand of his now in the hunter’s hair.

 

“I am fine, don’t worry.” He said, lying.

 

Castiel sighed sadly, agreeing to let Sam the space he needs with his emotions. Sam wrapped his arms around Castiel’s neck and intertwined his own fingers behind it. Almost out of control, and not in the mood for a talk, Sam let his lips crash on Castiel’s cheek. His wet mouth took a bite of the angel’s skin between his teeth and chewed it gently. Once he’s done with this part, he adjusted his face mirroring Castiel’s, his eyes deeply settled in the angel’s. He approached his face closer, their lips almost brushing against each other.

 

“How long are we gonna do this, Cas?” He whispered.

 

“What?...” The angel answered, avoiding the hunter’s look this time.

 

“Pretending — Pretending that we aren’t meant to be something else.” He breathed.

 

The angel stayed silent, desperately wanting to lock his lips with Sam’s in a heartbeat and never break it. He could feel the hunter’s breath inside his throat and he almost felt numb. Clearly Sam was breaking down, and Castiel didn’t want to abuse his vulnerability — he didn’t want their first kiss to be like this. He didn’t knew when it will happen, of course, but the celestial being hoped it would eventually. He wanted to kiss him before. The first time he wanted to feel their lips collide,  it was when Sam was free of Gadreel. Then it was when Sam lost Dean. Then it was when he came back from the empty, and then it was everyday. Every time. But it couldn’t be now, not with the Empty able to appear behind them and take his happiness away. He couldn’t risk it now, not with their unborn daughter who needed him and Sam who needed him even more.

 

“Kiss me.” Sam asked pleadingly.

“ I — I can’t do that. I want it tremendously but I can’t, Sam. Not now.” The angel said. Seeing that Sam wasn’t answering neither moving, he added. “It’s late, let’s go to bed. I know your brother has plans for you today.”

 

Sam nodded and left Castiel’s laps, both of them standing up. Sam threw one last look at the crib and joined his room followed by the angel. He took off his sweatpants, and slid under the sheets, sinking his head in the pillow. Castiel picked up the pants on the ground and put it on the back of the chair, looking at Sam ready to fall asleep.

 

“Do you want me to stay?” Castiel asked, afraid of the answer.

 

“Yes.” Sam answered simply.

 

The angel took off his trench coat and his jacket and slid behind the man of letters, spooning him. Feeling relaxed, Sam closed his eyes and ended in rapidly in the arms of Morpheus. The angel fell a few minutes after.

 

When he woke up later that day, Sam was alone. Castiel was gone but a note was on the sheets.

  
  


**_“Sam,_ **

 

**_I was required in Heaven. I didn’t want to wake you up. Anael needed help. If anything happens I will let you know._ **

 

**_Happy Birthday again. Have a lovely time with Dean._ **

 

**_I will come to you soon._ **

 

**_Take care,_ **

 

**_Castiel“_ **

 

Sam smiled for the attention, remembering how awful he was sooner with the angel. He sighed loudly, tapping his own face. _You are so stupid, Sam. Blame the alcohol, uh._ He left his bed quickly, and he joined his brother in the library when he was dressed.

 

“Happpppppy birthdayyyyyy Sammy!” Dean screamed, overjoyed.

 

Sam laughed and sat on the table next to him.

 

“Thank you, man.” Sam answered, giving him a tap on the shoulder.

 

“I’m not working today. So here’s the plan: road trip to San Antonio, a hockey night with a lot of hot dogs and a lot of beers. I made you a playlist man, you will love it.” Dean said, winking.

 

“It sounds good. Let me grab my some gloves in my room and we can go.” Sam said, jumping off the table.

 

He joined his room quickly and took the pair of brown leather gloves he liked, and he was looking for the beanie Castiel offered him the other night. It hit him that it was in their daughter’s room. He went in there, and picked up the beanie on the coffee table. He brushed the _S.W._ with the tip of his nails. It was sweet. He knew Cas was knitting, he caught him sometimes when the angel was bored in the bunker during the night. He wondered if he did it himself… he smiled and put the beanie on, before he met up with his big brother in the garage.

 

The two brothers were driving to the south of Texas for an hour now, Dean singing all the lyrics of Nirvana he wasn’t supposed to know.  

 

“I can’t believe you actually know that, Dean! You always told me it sucked.” Sam teased, singing the end of _Smells like teen spirit._

 

“Yeah it does! It’s just your day— I’m making efforts” Dean snorted. He paused the radio for a second, looking at his brother per moments. “Why you never told me?”

 

“Told ya what?” Sam asked genuinely, his fingers playing with his beanie.

 

“That you love men” Dean said.

 

“I didn’t think it was important.” Sam answered.

 

“You didn’t think it —“ Dean rolled his eyes dramatically. “You know you can tell me anything Sam.”

 

“Yeah, I know Dean. It’s just… Dad wasn’t really happy about me being a lawyer, imagine a lawyer and a pansexual as a son. It was scaring me back then. I wanted to tell you guys after Stanford and when I put a name on who I was but.” Sam snorted. “He was an homophobic ass. He always told me to not listen to Elton John or Queen, _because it sucked_ he said but we all knew the true reasons. No really a trustful area to come out. Time passed and there were only women so I didn’t see the point.”

 

Dean nodded, couldn’t be more agree. “What does it even mean? I’m not very familiar with those terms except when it comes to lesbian porn.” Dean admitted, not very sorry.

 

“It means that, I’m not limited in sexual/romantic choices regarding genders.” Sam snorted.

 

“Neither in species I guess” Dean laughed.

 

“I guess not” Sam laughed. “A demon, a witch, a human, and an angel. Even a werewolf. And a banshee. This is very accurate.”

 

Dean frowned. “Wait a minute. I remember the humans, Eileen, Madison, Ruby too, and obviously the feathered one but, what witch?” He thought for a second. “Rowena?!” Dean cried out, almost horrified.

 

“What? No Dean! Max. Max Baynes, you know...” Sam admitted, blushing.

 

“Oh…— oh! Alicia’s twin. But when? Fuck. We are literally together 24/7. I would have noticed if you were boning some dudes next door!” Dean added, shocked.

 

“We didn’t… uh, we didn’t have sex, you jerk. Not everything is about sex, Dean. He offered me a drink after the latest Cas’ funerals, I was pretty messed up so I accepted and we went to a bar and we kissed but nothing more.” Sam said, blaming the confinement of the car for opening up.

 

Obviously, it was nothing more. Back then, Sam thought he lost the man he wished he never lost one more time and he knew Max was into him. The mixed race witch made that very clear in a very explicit way through the years. But Sam loved the angel too much, and he was hurt. He felt terrible that night, coping with the pain with Max’s demanding tongue in his mouth.

 

“So Cas, uh Sammy? Really?” Dean asked, still surprised.

 

“Yes, Cas.” He practically swallowed the his name, maybe a little embarrassed to admit it to his brother out loud . “I fell in love with your best-friend.” Sam admitted again, his fingers still playing with the fabric of his beanie.

 

“Wow… I didn’t expected that. I mean I had doubts when I heard that you said yes to the craziest plan ever, but still.” Dean laughed. “How?”

 

“I think it was a matter of time. Destiny? I feel it couldn’t have happened any way else. Literally, the whole universe opposed us. I was the boy with demon blood,  I was the darkness, he was the angel of the lord and the lightning. He came for you, he saved you from perdition, he was supposed to be your guardian. He had no reasons to even care about me, but he did. And it was enough for me to be noticed by someone I admired, deeply. Is that even making sense?” Sam rolled his eyes, putting the beanie back on his head.

 

“Yeah. Alright…” Dean said, honestly still not really comfortable with the situation. He knew his brother loved Cas, he understood that a long time ago but he never thought it was something else. Something deeper. He thought they were friends. And he knew Castiel loved him too, in the entire angelic way he guessed. But it was complicated for the older brother to see the two people he cared about the most with this type of bound. This was probably incredibly selfish, but this was Dean’s inner thoughts, the ones he hated even think about. He was used to be the one making his brother happy, the one he was glad to see when he was coming home. He used to be the friend Castiel was coming to when he needed to save the world or seduce a chick. Deep down, he didn’t want to lose the family the three of them had. The happiness and the balance they found for so long. He felt guilty to even think like that when all he ever wanted was for Sam to be happy. And if this was with Castiel, he will be okay with that. _Fuck this abandonment syndrome._

 

“You seem to really like his gift anyway.” His brother smiled and said finally.

 

“The beanie or my daughter?” He asked, a little smile in the corner of his lips.

 

“Both. But I was talking about that.” He pointed out he piece of fabric in his hands. “Cas asked me what your favorite color was because he thought it wasn’t right to search in your brain for the answer” Dean laughed with his little brother, amused, noticing that they were almost in San Antonio. “You guys really are weird. Instead of going on a date and watch a movie you are making a super magical baby without actually sleeping together or talking about your feelings.” Dean said disconcerted.

 

“This is Cas we are talking about. And he’s an angel. And I’m his best friend. There is no feelings. It’s easier this way...” Sam said, watching outside the signalisations, biting the end of his nails. He indicated the way to the ice rink to his brother.

 

Dean cleared his throat. “Is that what you tell yourself to sleep at night? You are wrong Sammy and you know that. He choose you, man. He could have asked this random guy at church, but he wanted you to do it. I may not be an expert in angelic love but I’ve learned it from Anna many years ago. This is kind of a big deal.”

 

“We arrived.” Sam said, ready to get out of the car after 5 hours of a long road, and definitely ready to stop “ _the talk”_.

 

In the past hours he came out to his brother, admitted out loud that he was in love with Castiel, that he suffered from a homophobic paternal figure, it was kind of enough. Dean sighed, and parked the car on an available spot.

 

“You are lucky it’s your birthday and I’m not getting your depressed ass back home. Let’s buy some pies and some drinks, and let’s go San Antonio!” Dean said, almost running to the entry.

 

Sam laughed and followed Dean inside the ice rink, ready for the big finale of hockey. Go, mooses!

 •••

 

**June 3rd.**

 

Like an old habit — like his job, Sam was on his desk, working on new weapons for the hunters, stronger ones. If he was honest with himself, he wasn’t really focused. His eyes were on his phone every two seconds, waiting for a call from Castiel. The past month he saw the angel four times. The angel looked exhausted, physically tired. His blue eyes who were usually shining so bright were almost colorless. He looked sick and still refused Sam’s help. The hunter was clueless, about Cas. He tried to talk to Dean but his brother really didn’t know what was happening. Sam looked at his clock, seriously starting to believe it was broken. It was so long. He was worried, for the angel, terrified but also excited to meet his daughter. The little one was expected very _very_ soon now. The angels were supposed to come on earth today or tomorrow. He was waiting for the news now, his eyes on the sport bag lying around on the table. He prepared the bag with the bees blanket Cas loved, a fresh couple of bodies, diapers and beanie, a pacifier and food. Everything they would have need to take care of her before bringing her home. Hopefully his brother stopped him from moving the entire bunker in the doctor’s office. He jumped in surprise when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

 

“Hey, relax buddy. It’s just me.” Dean laughed.

“I am relaxed.” He said, trying to convince himself that he was. He put his pen down and turned on his chair, facing Dean sat on the table, looking into the bag curiously.

 

“What was the last time you ate. Sam?” He asked, concerned.

“I ate this noon. Cereals.” He confessed.

“Is that what you want Sammy? Your baby girl opening her eyes for the first time and meeting your face who looks like a wendigo who hasn’t slept enough?” Dean raised his eyebrows, and smiled. “Go eat something, please. I will put this in the impala and we will leave  right away when Cas calls.”

 

Sam looked at his face in the first mirrored surface he found and seemed horrified. “oh god. I look like crap. Maybe I should put a suit on? I should definitely put a suit on.”

 

Dean snorted and jumped off the table and left for the garage for a moment. Sam went quickly in the kitchen checking the phone in his pocket every steps he made. He grabbed a sandwich, with avocado, ham and cheese he prepared last night but never ate. Between the bits, he was checking the clock, his smartphone, needless to say that he wasn’t eating really fast. 09:37 pm and he swore the next time he checked it was 09:36. When his brother reappeared, Sam took a huge bit of his meal and threw away the rest of it in the trash can. Facing an accusing peer from Dean, Sam laughed.

 

“Shut up. I need a walk, or a run. Anything. Can we go out?” Sam asked pleadingly.

“You really couldn’t have come in the car two minutes ago!?” Dean rolled his eyes.

 

“Meet you there in five. I will change my clothes quickly.”

 

He tapped his brother’s shoulder and ran into his bedroom, stopping in front his closest. He took off the flannel shirt he found ugly on that precise moment and grabbed a white T-shirt he put on quickly, with a suit from a suit he used as fake FBI agent. He looked around, checking if he didn’t miss anything and sighed with relief when he noticed the little unicorn he was sleeping with the past few days. He took the little stuffed animal in his arms and ran even faster to the garage.

 

“This is better” Dean said, his hands on the wheel. “You ready?”

 

Sam nodded, not sure if _Yes_ was the proper answer just now. Dean rushed off like a shot, leaving the garage of the bunker. He drove straight to Lebanon City, to the doctor Zenere’s office, knowing that it was where his brother would be able to wait and relax. When he parked the car, they noticed that the cabinet was still out. Sam knew that Catherine wouldn’t be there and that she left the key in the garden gnome’s hat. The hunter took the bag off the impala’s trunk and reached the front step, retrieving the keys. He opened the office, turned on the lights and moved forward to the patient’s labor room. He rearranged the sheets, trying to make the place more cozy for Elle. He talked a lot with his mom, and Mary told him precisely how the birth of Jack happened 3 years ago. So Sam took precautions, drew the curtains and painted three sigils on the walls, the signs that would help the room containing the blast of grace from the birth, and would prevent to hurt the baby in any ways. They did multiples — multiples — attempts and it was the safest combination they came up with. The hunter took a deep breath, watching his brother dropping off a bottle of water and some candies on the table, right next to the bed.

 

“Thank god!” Sam screamed when he heard the noises of a car parking in the rubbles. The two Winchester ran outside and opened the back door of the old truck. Dean helped Elle coming out of the car and he carried her inside, laying her down on the bed. Sam thanked him with a look before he left, watching him leave followed by Naomi and Anael, and he flung himself in Castiel’s arms. He nestled his head in his neck, finally feeling calm. Castiel put his phone on the car’s bonnet, freeing both of his hands he slid in the hunter’s hair, holding him thigh.

 

“I’m here, Sam.” Castiel whispered next to his ear, taking this opportunity to kiss lightly the top of it.

 

“Where the fuck were you” Sam asked, muttering.

 

“Apologies.” Castiel answered, kissing the top of his ear one more time, and two times more after that. “I ran out of battery… this isn’t the best technology human came up with. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

 

Sam laughed and broke the hug quicker than he wanted, and they both joined everyone else in the labor’s room. Sam sat next to the bed, his hand on Elle’s arm.

 

“Hey, there.” Sam said with a compassionate smile. “How are you holding up?”

 

Elle smiled right back, slowly putting her hand on Sam’s, squeezing him softly.

 

“I am alright. I —“ she stopped for a second, shutting up a painful moan. “I am fine. Thank you.”

 

Sam nodded, frightened by the appearance the Christian had. Her cheeks had grown hollow, and her hair lost their color. But she looked happy, and relaxed, her huge belly under a brown dressed.

 

“Do — uh, do you need anything?” Sam asked, fiddling with the bag he was holding on his laps now.

 

“Sam, I am alright. I can promise you that.” Elle said, trying to comfort him with a look.

 

Castiel, clearly tenderized by the situation, was watching them from the corner of the room. He knew that Sam needed this time with her, after the six months she spent in Heaven. He knew how affected he was, but the angel also knew that he understood. Elle grimaced, a little contraction kicking her again. Castiel put a hand on his mouth and coughed the more quietly he could. When Dean noticed that for the third time in a row Castiel was coughing when Elle was whining, he cleared his throat.

 

“Cas,” he started walking towards the door. “A word outside.”  

 

The angel followed him outside, leaning on the the low wall. The hunter stood in front of him, his hands in his pockets.

 

“You are hiding something. Spill it out.” Dean peered at him with a piercing look, determined to have an answer.

 

“Dean, this is alright. You don’t need to alert your brother. It’s just a side effect of sharing my grace.” Castiel said, his look fixed on a tree far away.

 

“Trust me, he noticed. That you were coming each times more sick than before. How bad it is?” He asked, his look now concerned. Hearing no answer from the angel he continued. “Cas, man. I am your best friend. You know you can tell me anything.” He put a hand on his shoulder.

 

The angel nodded. “I know. I just… I didn’t want to burden Sam more with that. Your brother is so fragile, Dean. He couldn’t worry about me. His daughter was enough stress.” The angel finally admitted.

 

“Sammy cares about you.” Dean simply said, censoring himself. He knew it wasn’t his place to tell him about the feelings his brother had. “You aren’t a burden to anybody. Tell me what’s happening, please.”

 

“The grace I gave Elle was enough in the first weeks. But my daughter is gourmand I suppose.” He said. “Her father won’t like it“ he added ironically and the both of them laughed. “She needed more of it. The birth is coming close and she is sucking my celestial energy up more and more each times. She’s almost ready to come out.”

 

“So your angelic mojo… it’s gone?” Dean asked.

 

“For now…” Castiel said, his eyes glowing for a second before the glow of his blue eyes crackled like a Christmas tinsel out of batteries. “For now I don’t have much of it left. I probably won’t have any more of it when she will be here. I won’t die, I will be human again, temporarily. My grace will recharge itself when she will grow old and generate her own grace.”

 

“Cas… you shouldn’t keep secrets from Sam. You know how secrets destroy everything. He could have understand that. He was with you in this.” Dean said with a comforting tone. _Damn, they are so complicated_ , he laughed inside.

 

“I will tell him everything. Just not now. Please? Let him focus on the baby, not me.” Cas almost begged.

 

Dean rolled his eyes, resigned and gave a quick hug to Cas.

 

“Yeah, yeah of course Cas.” He answered, tapping the top of his shoulder.

 

“Thank you, Dean.” Castiel said, smiling tenderly.

 

“Are you ready?” The oldest brother asked.

 

“Yes, I think I am. I know I have to be ready for her and for Sam. Because your brother is strong, but he is terrified. He doesn’t know that he will become a great father mostly thanks to the outstanding father figure he had.” Castiel said, his look now focus on his friend.

 

“I don’t think Dad was the best example of parenting. Sam really hated the guy” Dean snorted.

 

“I wasn’t talking about John. I was talking about you, Dean.”

 

“What—“ Dean said, surprised.

 

“Sam became the extraordinary man he is now thanks to you. It wasn’t your role to be the brother, the father and the mother for him but you did, you did it very well. Every steps of the way you were his example. You sacrificed so much to raise him, and he is grateful for that. He learned a lot from it. He will take care of his child the same way you did with him.” Castiel added.

 

Dean kept quiet for a minute, moved by the words from the angel. “I didn’t know I needed to hear that from you, Cas. Thank you.” Dean admitted.

 

Their conversation was interrupted by a strident scream from the room. They both ran quickly inside,

 

“Elle are you alright?” Cas asked, panicking.

 

The brunette laughed. “Yeah. Yeah I’m sorry… I think this was the first contraction boosted with angelic grace. Your little one is becoming impatient”

 

Castiel exhaled in the same moment Sam did, both relieved. The angel took a few more steps and stood behind the chair Sam was sitting on. He wrapped his arms around Sam’s neck, intertwining his fingers against his chest. He put a chin on the top of his head, looking at Elle. Sam brushed his cheek against Castiel’s right arm, and asked Elle permission to touch her belly. The brunette nodded, and Sam delicately put his hand on the side of her rounded stomach.

 

“We are impatient too, my little one. We are ready when you are.” He whispered.

 

The entire room smiled, and Dean was the first one to break the silence that was installed.

 

“I guess this will take hours. We will all stay here. But it’s already midnight, I am starving.” Dean said, complaining.

 

“There is a 24/24 pizza place nearby.” Anael said. “I believe this is the kind of place for humans like you. Struggling with eating problems.”

 

“I—I am not having issues.” Dean answered offended, the angel and his brother snorting. “But this seemed to be a good idea. We will order pizza and play a game. You wanna come with me, Ana?” Dean offered, his voice tainted with flirt.

 

“It’s Anael.” She answered, hiding a smile in the corner of her pink lips. She grabbed her coat she took off earlier and walked towards the door. “Let’s go. We should check on Naomi on our way back. She went to protect the area, I will make sure everything is perfectly fine.” She smiled to her brother and Sam.

 

Dean snorted. “Damn. Okay boss.” He said, definitely interesting in Anael being his boss in others circumstances. He winked at Sam and the hunter rolled his eyes.

 

“What do you guys want?” He offered, grabbing the keys of Baby.

 

“Sun-dried tomatoes/cheddar pizza.” Sam answered, his big brother pretending to throw up.

 

“I’d like mozzarella sticks with garlic bread.” Castiel asked, facing two accusing looks from the Winchester.

 

“Well… hopefully you didn’t plan on kissing anybody tonight.” Dean snorted.

 

“Uh— maybe regular bread should be just fine.” The angel added, the surface of his cheeks blushing. “I — Uh — I planned on covering her little face with kisses, actually.”

 

Sam laughed, dropping off a kiss on the angel’s arm he could reach with his mouth. _He is adorable._

 

“Alright. What about you, Elle?” Dean asked.

“Ana got it. Thank you Dean.” She smiled to him.

 

Dean nodded and left with Anael and the Impala. Sam was rubbing Elle’s stomach so lightly that she had to intervene.

 

“Sam, I won’t break you know. You won’t hurt me or her.” She said with a gentle voice.

 

She turned down his hand for a second, and she hiked her dress up, wedging the fabric in her bra to expose entirely her bare belly. She took back his hand, and put it back on his side. This time, Sam was feeling her skin under his palm. It was intimate, and impressive, but it felt good.

 

“Thank you, Elle.” He whispered.

 

It only took them one hour and a half to come back with the orders. Dean dropped off the food on the bed, apologizing to Elle for the inconvenience. Castiel snorted and went to the waiting room, stealing the coffee table he noticed the first time they went here. Sam went for three chair he brought back in the labor’s room. They arranged the place quickly, the four seats around the table in front of Elle’s bed. Dean took the pizza boxes and the soft drinks he bought, putting them on the coffee table. He gave Elle the smoothie Anael ordered for her specifically.

 

“How is Naomi doing with the protection spell?” Sam asked, checking quickly outside that nothing wrong was happening.

 

“It’s clean.” Anael answered. “Duma is here to help her now. They will stay in position until it’s done. There are rumors about some curious hunters around here but they saw nothing yet. The angel radio is on if troubles appear.”

 

Sam nodded and he, Dean, Anael and Castiel sat on the chair, the oldest Winchester opening his box.

 

“I obviously didn’t buy alcohol. A nephilim is coming and I thought it was a good idea to keep our mind clean.” He snorted. “But it won’t stop us to play a game.”

 

Sam frowned and opened his eyes wide opened. “Oh no…”

 

“Oh yeah.” Dean snorted, clapping his hands. “Let’s play Have you ever”

 

“What is it?” Both Ana and Cas asked in synchronization.

 

“We ask question starting with Have you ever. For example, Have you ever drank water? If you did, you can eat a piece of your food, if you never did that you can’t eat.” Dean explained.

 

Castiel titled his head. “Is that very fair, Dean? We are angels and you are humans. This seems not balanced.”

 

Sam snorted when his brother answered “Of course it is.” He cleared his throat. “Have you ever made out with a demon”

 

Dean, Sam and Cas took a bit of their dishes. They all laughed and Anael continued.

 

“Have you ever made out with an angel” she asked.

 

Dean shrugged his shoulders and ate another bite of his pizza. Castiel did too. Sam turned to the angel and frowned his eyebrows.

 

“Did I missed something?” Sam asked genuinely.

 

“An angel kissed me once… uh — Hannah.” Castiel admitted, embarrassed.

 

Dean almost choked on his pizza. “Aren’t you all siblings? That’s gross.”

 

“She’s — not really she was confused and human — it's complicated” Castiel stammered and Sam burst into laughters.

 

“This is gonna be a fun game. Have you ever died.” Sam asked.

 

“We won’t have enough food for this” Castiel laughed and took a bit of his mozzarella stick.

 

“Have you ever flew” Anael asked. She laughed when the two Winchester looked numb and she high fived with Castiel. They both eat their food while they were laughing.

 

“Really you two demons? Alright. Have you ever had sex in the back sit of a car.” Dean asked proudly, and he ate, Sam too, and Elle took a sip of her drink.

 

“Oh, really Elle?” Sam asked, joking around.

 

“I may have been a rebel in Christian school.” Elle admitted.

 

The whole room laughed and they ended their meal with others questions, and jokes.

 

For the following hours, it was more complicated. The contractions were becoming more and more painful. Elle was sweating a lot, and her breathing was more patchy. The labor had officially begun on June 5th, at 5:04 am. Dean noticed that Sam and Cas were now absolutely ready. The blanket was waiting on the bed, the sigils were activated. Cas was holding Elle’s hand and Sam was wiping off her forehead. The oldest Winchester had a tear - to not say a million - in his eyes, very proud of his little brother and his best-friend about to become parents. He took a step back and Anael followed him. He opened the door.

 

“Dean… Dean what are you doing?” Sam asked almost out of breath.

“You are leaving?” Castiel added, nervousness in his voice.

 

“We will be right outside, fellas. It’s your moment. Your daughter is coming, and you guys have to share that together. Anael and I both agreed on that point.” Dean answered.

 

Sam and the angel shared a look and smiled to Dean in synchronization, nodded, their look thanking him. Their respective siblings disappeared outside, closing the door behind them and suddenly they both felt out of air in the room.

 

“Elle, I know this must be a terrible moment to say it but… thank you. I — Thank you.” Sam said, no others words were able to come out of his mouth. He gave a long and tender kiss on her wet forehead.

 

Castiel nodded. “We talked about this lot the past months, but what you did saved Heaven, and the entire planet. I owe you forever, Ellie.”

 

Castiel squeezed her hand, a single tear running down her cheek.

 

“You are the two most deserving persons I have ever met.” She stopped, moaning. “It was my honor to carry your child.” Her irises turned purple and started to glow.

“Sam, Cas… take care of yourselves.” she whispered, closing her eyes, a smile on her face.

 

Sam removed his hand from her face and threw away the towel he was using. Sam closed his eyes for one second and the next moment he looked at her, Elle disappeared in a blast of angelic grace. The power was absorbed by the sigils, but the celestial light was still  blinding the hunter. The entire room was quaking, the curtains were waving. He could hear the torrential rain outside banging against the windows. But soon all they both could hear was the sound of cries, baby cries. The little nephilim was in the middle of the labor bed, her eyes closed and her little mouth wide opened while she was crying. Castiel and Sam were both agree that it was a good sign.

 

“Oh god…” Sam swallowed.

 

Castiel grabbed the bees blanket while Sam slid his gigantic hands under the naked body the baby, and held her gently. His hands were shaking so hard that he thought he was about to faint. He focused, knowing that he had to keep her safe. That he couldn’t allow himself to be weak in that precise moment. Castiel sat at the end of the bed, and covered the child with the blanket, her entire body in it. Sam wedged her in place in Castiel’s arms, the angel now holding her tightly against his shirt. Sam grabbed the beanie he bought for her from his bag and sat next to the angel. He put it delicately on her head, keeping her ears warm under the fabric, and then he slid his hand on Cas’, intertwining their fingers who were supporting the back of their daughter. The little nephilim calmed down, and she stopped crying after a while. Her fingers were agitating  in air slowly, trying to grab the first thing she was able to touch. Her tiny fingers gripped Castiel’s tie, and she stayed still in the blanket, most likely satisfied. Sam was trying to find the right words, and Castiel was captivating by the beauty of his daughter, so they both stayed quiet. Sam nestled against Castiel, his head resting on his shoulder. The moment she opened her eyes was the moment the hunter almost choked. He thought the eyes of Castiel was the deepest blue eyes he ever saw, his daughter proved him wrong in one second.

 

“I may be jealous of that.” Castiel said, almost whispering, in awe with the progeny.

 

The little girl was curiously looking simultaneously at her two fathers.

 

“Sam…” The angel started. “I saw beautiful things in my life. But she is the most beautiful. I don’t regret the choice I’ve made to use your seed.” The angel ended naturally.

 

Sam wanted to laugh very hard, but he calmed himself down.

 

“Well — Thanks, Cas.” The hunter snorted and raised his head to meet the angel’s face. Castiel struggled to break the eye contact with his daughter but he finally stared at Sam.

 

“I wish I could put words on everything I feel right now. I just think you wouldn’t believe how much happy I can be right now.” Sam said, calmly.

 

The hunter grabbed his phone and texted Dean. _[You guys can come in.]_ He wasn’t expecting Dean to come in the room exactly four seconds later. Sam laughed, knowing that his brother was probably waiting against the door the whole time. Dean approached the bed with Anael, carefully looking at the baby. The little one turned her look to Dean and Ana, with the same curiosity in it, intrigued to see new faces around her.

 

“You can’t possibly be the offspring of those two ugly ones! You are way too pretty.” Dean said, laughing when he saw the two of them completely outraged. He let his pinky finger slid in her little hand. “Damn it. You are the sweetest. My niece is the sweetest.”

 

Dean smiled again, overjoyed. He grimaced in front of her, and her eyes were now captivated by his funny faces. Sam rolled his eyes, always amused when Dean is over dramatic.

 

“Sam, Castiel. Congratulations.” Anael said, more calm than Dean.

 

“Thank you Ana.” They both answered.

 

“Did you announced it on the angel radio?” She asked.

 

“Uh — no. Can you do it for me?” Castiel asked, feeling that he can’t access the angel radio right now, his grace being too low for this to work.

 

“Of course Cas.” She answered, her fingers on her temples.

 

“What is her name?” Dean asked, sticking his tongue out. “I may need it to print T-shirts.”

 

Sam cleared his throat. “This is a secret, for now.”

Castiel added “Yes. For now you can call her Peanut.”

“Peanut?” Dean asked, frowning.

“Yes. Sam didn’t wanted to call her PB&J, but he said I could nickname her Peanut.” He said proudly, his finger on her nose gently.

 

“I am so sorry for you, little one.” Dean said with an exaggerated sad expression on his face.

 

The angel laughed and Sam cleaned his stuff up in the bag. He took Castiel’s trench coat, and put it on his back. Castiel didn’t put his arms in the sleeves, not willing to let go of the baby. Sam tied a button of the coat to keep both of them warm.

 

“We are ready to go home.” Sam said.

 

Dean left the room first, followed by Castiel and Peanut. Anael stopped Sam when she noticed that he wanted to bring back the chair in the others room.

 

“Sam, do not do that. Naomi and Duma are on their way back here, we will clean the entire place. We also have to erase every tracks of grace in the area. You look exhausted. Go see your daughter.” She squeezed a arm she put on her shoulder while she was talking, and Sam hugged her tenderly.

 

“Thanks Anael.” He answered.

 

“It’s my pleasure. Take care of my niece. And take care my big brother too.” She winked, and Sam smiled to her.

 

He joined the Impala and sat next to Castiel on the back seat of the car and drove to the bunker. It was 7 am in the morning, the sun was about to rise. Dean parked the car in the garage and yawned.

 

“I can’t believe I’m working in 2 hours. I will take a nap and a shower — maybe in the same time.” Dean said while the three of them were walking in the corridors. He stopped in front of the bathroom’s door, his finger brushing the child’s face tenderly. “I will see all of you later.” He said before he disappeared behind the door.

 

Castiel and Sam kept walking towards Peanut’s room. Sam turned on the lights, looking around, checking the temperature and the safety in the room. He unbuttoned Castiel’s trench coat, and took it off. The angel put the nephilim on the couch, unwrapping her from the blanket. She started to agitate her feet in the air, appreciating the freedom of her movements, but she quickly missed the body warm of her dad. She started crying, her hands outstretched towards them.

 

“Give us one minute, alright. Just one minute.” Castiel whispered tickling her stomach gently while Sam took a clean diaper and some clothes. He put the purple body with a squirrel printed on it on her back, after he put the diaper on.

 

“See, just one minute.” The angel smiled. Sam sat on the couch next to Cas and carried her, her little face resting the hunter’s shoulder. Her cries stopped almost instantly, Sam rocking her slowly. She grabbed a bit of his shirt in her little hand, and closed her eyes, visibly comfortable there.

 

“You are gigantic. She seems so little against you.” Castiel admitted, rubbing her back, his other hand on Sam’s thigh.

 

Sam laughed quietly, staring at Castiel. Noticing that the hunter wasn’t talking anymore, he asked. “Sam, you seem exhausted. Maybe we should get some sleep. She is already asleep.”

 

“I don’t want to leave her...” Sam whispered, his cheek barely brushing against her head.

 

“You don’t, alright. We can sleep here on the sofa.” Castiel answered. “I asked for a convertible one. I knew this would eventually happened.”

 

He smiled and Sam left the sofa, walking towards the crib. He slowly laid her on her back on it, taking care of not waking her up. He froze for a second when he saw her moving, but she didn’t woke up. Sam sighed, relieved, and stayed next to the crib, looking at her. Meanwhile, Castiel displaced the coffee table and installed the bed. He made a quick back and forth to Sam’s room, grabbing two pillows, a blanket and a clean shirt if he wanted a fresh pajama. He put all of it on the bed, getting rid of his jacket. He rolled up his sleeves, released his tie and took place next to Sam, his hands on the bars, looking at the sleeping beauty. Sam turned his face one second, and almost instinctively he slid behind Castiel’s back, spooning him from behind. He wrapped his hands around Castiel’s torso, his cheek resting against the angel’s temple. The angel put his hands on Sam’s strong arms, embracing him. The hunter was still silent, and the angel started to be worried.

 

“What are you thinking, Sam?” He asked, rubbing the muscles of his arm.

 

“I am thinking about her. This. If this is real. I was thinking about how much I love her, how much I love you and how much lucky I am to have a family like ours.” He answered, not noticing yet what he said.

 

It hit him when he felt that Castiel stopped rubbing his arms. He swallowed, breaking the embrace they were sharing. He cleared nervously his throat and he reached the clothes the angel brought. He took off his clothes and put his pajama on, checking discreetly what the angel was doing. He thought that maybe he didn’t hear what he said. He took his place back next to the angel, avoiding his look. Instead he just put his pinky on the baby’s hand, smiling.

 

“I mean — Uh. You mean a lot to me and we have a child together now. So I —“ he stopped when Castiel interrupted him.

 

“Sam…” The angel started.

 

Sam nodded, waiting for the angel to continue. The next minute, the angel said nothing but he felt the heavy atmosphere and the angel staring at him, definitely waiting for Sam to look at him. Sam, resigned, raised his head, his hazel eyes lost in the angel’s.

 

“Sam…” Cas said again.

 

The angel didn’t really let time to Sam to answer anything. Instead, his craving lips crashed gently against Sam’s. The hunter was surprised the first second he felt the lips he desired for so long against his own. He didn’t think that much, sliding a hand on the angel’s neck, pulling him closer. They both closed their eyes, lost in the moment. Sam felt his lips trembling, and the angel felt it too. Eager to make it right, to take this pressure away, the angel put his fingers in Sam’s hair, making their kiss deeper, their lips colliding practically  in a brutal way. Castiel moaned, almost out of breath but he didn’t want to break it. Instead, his tongue tickled the gap of Sam’s wet mouth, asking permission to come in. Almost desperate, Sam separated his lips, letting their tongues meet and mix up. When he felt that his stomach was hurting him, needing air, the hunter regretfully broke their kiss, and took a deep breathe. He could hear the angel doing the same, his hand on his cheek.

 

“I love you too.” Castiel whispered against his lips, one finger brushing against them. Sam, with a silly reflex, kissed the finger on his mouth.

 

He was sure he understood it right. Castiel loved him. Maybe deep down he already knew that, and their mouths made that pretty clear. The only, question he had, it was a silly one. When did he become worthy to be loved by his angel? He was exhausted. Really happy but also very tired.

 

“But why…” Sam answered, unable to ask anything else. He yawned, rubbing his tired eyes.

 

“You are exhausted, Sam.” The angel whispered, stroking his cheek. “Can you please go to bed? There is no need to talk about it now. I will still love you tomorrow.”

 

Sam nodded, letting go of the hand of his daughter. He also escaped from Cas’ embrace, walking to the bed. He slid under the sheets, placing his head on the pillow in such a way that he could watch over the nephilim through the bars of the crib. Castiel took a new beige blanket and covered the child’s body with it. Once it was done, he took off his jean and his shirt and tie, pulling one old shirt of Stanford that belonged to Sam. The shirt was so huge that it covered half of his thighs. He slid next to Sam under the sheets, smiling when he noticed that the hunter was fighting to stay awake.

 

“Sam, sleep.” The angel said, two fingers playing with Sam’s strand of hair.

 

“But I want to know why. Why do you love me and why you never told me that…” he whispered, barely audible.

 

The angel didn’t answer when he noticed that Sam fell asleep, unable to fight the urge to sleep any longer. Castiel covered his body with the blanket, pecking his cheek. He turned his face towards the crib, making sure that their child was okay, and fell asleep a few minutes later.

 

When Sam woke up a few more hours later, coming face to face with the clock that indicated that it was already 1:00 pm. He jumped in surprise, looking around quickly. He straightened up his body, and sat on the bed, a pillow on his legs.

 

Castiel was sitting on the bed next to him, and put a hand on his shoulder and his lips against Sam’s.

 

“Good morning.” He said, a sweet smile in the corner of his mouth.

 

Sam had his eye wide opened, not entirely awake yet, surprised by the kiss.

 

“Sorry… you don’t want me to kiss you?” Castiel asked, a little afraid, when he saw the startled look on his face.

 

“No. No, of course you can Cas.” Sam smiled, kissing the hand on his shoulder. “I just... my head hurts. I wasn’t sure this happened yesterday.”

 

“Well, it happened Sam. We had a baby and I kissed you. This is a particular order, I would say.” Castiel answered.

 

Sam laughed quietly, and when he was fully awake he noticed that their daughter was laying down on the sheets next to him, her look searching for his.

 

“Hey, there…” Sam said, even more awed than before. “It’s so late. What are you doing here? Not that I’m complaining but…” Sam asked, his pinky finger on her cheek.

 

“She woke up a few hours back. I made her a feeding bottle mixed with grace, and then I changed her. But she wanted to stay near you.” Castiel explained, his fingers playing on her stomach. “And I wanted it too.”

 

Sam smiled, flattered of the attention, leaning to catch up Castiel’s lips. “I may get really used to that.” Sam whispered against his mouth.

 

They both laughed, not really ready to put a word on what they were already. “How her angel side is doing, Cas?” Sam asked, staring at him.

 

“She is perfectly fine. I examined her this morning. Her grace won’t generate itself before she is around six months old. So for now I will give her milk and my grace to feed the angel part and the human part.” Castiel answered with a reassuring voice.

 

“Good, very good.” Sam sighed, relieved. “I should get prepared for the welcoming party. Damn it, you should have woke me up. I have so much things to do.”

 

“You needed to sleep, Sam. Do not worry about that. Dean won’t be home until 4:00 pm, he texted me that he will stop at the caterer for the buffet, your mom and jack will be there at 9:00 pm with Rowena and the angels. You’ve got plenty of time.”

 

Fully reassured, Sam put a little kiss on his daughter’s forehead, did the same on Cas’s and ran into the shower.

 

Dean came in the bunker after work with two bags full of food he put on the kitchen’s table. He joined Castiel and Sam in the library. They both were sitting on the floor between two bookcases, the little girl laying down the playground mattress surrounded by the stuffed animals, the moose and the unicorn.

 

“I’ve waited for this all day. Hi.” Dean said, squatting in front of her. “Hi.” He added, tickling her foot.

 

“You don’t care about us?” Sam teased.

 

“Nope.” Dean said simply. “So, What is her name?” Dean asked, finally sitting next to Cas.

 

“You will have to wait the official announcement, tonight, Dean” The angel answered.

 

“Really?!” Dean said, outraged. “Come on. I hate your parents Peanut. I really do. I can’t believe I will have to call you Peanut for three more hours.” Dean sighed, and Sam snorted.

 

“I can give you a hint, the first letter.” Sam said, looking at Castiel for approval. The angel nodded, and the hunter continued. “It begins by the letter L.”  

 

Castiel frowned his eyebrows, sharing a confused look with Sam. The hunter put his finger in front his own mouth, miming to the angel to stay quiet. Cas understood that Sam lied on purpose to his brother to mess with him and they both laughed when they heard Dean trying to figure it out.

 

“Lucy? No. This is the nickname Lucifer had it would have been awkward. Lila? Lisa? Leviathan? Am I close?” Dean asked, looking at his brother.

 

“Super close” Castiel answered and the three of them laughed.

 

As planned, all the guests arrived for 09:00 pm. Anael and Dean were sitting around the war table, drinking beers with Jack. Rowena and Mary where standing next Sam, around the baby’s bassinet. Mary was playing with her hands.

 

“Sam… I know I haven’t told you this a lot. I never could but —“ she started.

 

Sam interrupted her. “Mom…”

 

“No, really. I am so proud of you. I am happy for you, and Castiel. She’s beautiful, and she will be lucky to be raised in a peaceful world.” She answered, and Sam gave her a quick hug, whispering _Thank you mom_ against her ear.

 

“I will babysit her any time. She’s lovely Samuel.” Rowena said, searching for something in her pockets. She held a witch bag out to Sam. “I did this to protect her, from the bad spirits.”

 

Sam took the bag and thanked her, very moved by all the support from his family. He knew he could trust his best friend, Rowena, his mom, his brother and Jack. But he loved being sure of it, that his family was 100% with him, with the baby and with Cas. Speaking of Cas, Sam looked around him and noticed that Castiel was nowhere to be seen.

 

“Mom, can you take care of her for a second? I have to find Cas for the announcement.” He asked, his fingers on her daughter’s belly.

 

“Of course” his mom said, smiling to him.

 

Sam walked through the library, rolling his eyes when he noticed that Dean was flirting with Anael— again. He stopped next to Jack, who was talking with his aunties Duma and Naomi.

 

“Have you seen Cas?” He asked, not sure which one of them would know where he is.

 

“He is in the kitchen” Naomi answered, coldness in her voice.

 

Sam nodded, and walked in the kitchen, and found Cas sitting on the table, looking the milk heating up in the bottle warmer. Sam stopped in front of him, a hand on his thigh and the other one on the table.

 

“Cas, are you alright?” Sam asked, Castiel looking at him. With his position, Castiel was as the same height as Sam and he found it funny.

 

“Yes. I was preparing a bottle. And I talked with Naomi, this was unpleasant.” He sighed.

 

“Tell me” Sam asked, checking the temperature of the drink from time to time.

 

“You’re not gonna like it…” Castiel started.

 

“One more reason to tell me, Cas. If you need to keep secrets to yourself, I’m okay with that. But never when it involves our daughter alright? Especially the angel business.” Sam almost begged, turning off the heat under the liquid.

 

He grabbed a feeding bottle, filling it with the milk. He waved a hand in the air, asking Castiel to keep talking. He heard the angel sigh.

 

“We all agreed that she won’t be going to Heaven before she’s ten. But she wants her sooner. She thinks Heaven won’t last that long.” Castiel said, almost whispering.

 

Sam snorted, grabbing the angel blade from a drawer.

 

“I won’t hesitate to kill her if she even thinks about it one more time.” Sam said calmly.

 

Castiel offered his wrist, and Sam made a little cut with the tip of the weapon on it. A few drops of grace mixed up with the rest of the meal and Sam closed the bottle he put on the table right after. Castiel smiled at him and spread his legs to let space for Sam to come between them. The hunter didn’t think twice and filled the space with his body, sliding his hands under Cas’ trench coat to access a more comfortable part of his back. The angel wrapped his legs around Sam’s waist and his hands around his neck, pulling in closer to him. Sam smiled, his lips joining Cas’ for a tender kiss, rubbing the lower part of his back.

 

“If Dean walks in and see us making out on the table where he’s taking his breakfast, he’s gonna kill us.” Castiel whispered against the hunter’s lips, stealing another kiss from the man he loved.

 

“He did worst on that table.” Sam snorted, and the angel laughed. “Come on.”

 

Sam took a step aside, letting Castiel jump  off the table. He grabbed the bottle, and followed Castiel in the war room, where all the family were sitting. Castiel thanked Mary and Rowena for watching the baby while they were gone and the two women smiled to him, sitting on the chair next to Dean and Anael when they noticed that they were waiting for them to begin. The angel leaned on the bassinet, taking his daughter in his arms.

 

“Dean. Jody is here yet?” Sam asked, looking at the computer next to him.

 

Dean nodded, adjusting the screen so Sam can see Jody, Donna, Claire and Alex hysterically waving at them.

Castiel took a step closer and Dean approached the computer, the angel showing the little girl’s face to the four women in a better angle.

 

“She’s adorable you guys!” Jody said while Donna was just screaming in adoration.

 

“Slow down, people!” Alex said, and Claire continued “Yes, let’s hear the name of the pretty one.“

 

They all let the room quiet, and Sam laughed a few minutes, taking place next to him. The two of them shared an accomplice and tended look, and Sam put a hand on Castiel’s, intertwining their fingers. It was pretty common for them to do so now, but they didn’t realize that their whole family was in front of them, waiting, probably wondering what this all meant.

 

Judging that it was a story for another time, Sam cleared his throat and started his speech.

 

“Thank you all for being here tonight. Thank you for being our family, and thank you for welcoming a new member in it. A very sweet new member”

 

“We thought it would have been complicated for us to name her. But, we chose it pretty easily. And when we saw her, we knew we made the perfect choice.” Castiel continued, like a perfect paper they would have wrote.

 

“Let me introduce you our daughter, _Gabrielle Enochia Dean Winchester_ ” Sam announced proudly, feeling his heart racing in his chest. He knew they made the perfect choice, but he was still dreading their reaction. The angel felt the tension in Sam’s hand and squeezed their fingers, Gabrielle babbling in their arms.

 

“She seems to like it” Castiel snorted. “It may be for obvious reasons. Usually, children are named after their grandparents or their parents. This isn’t the case for us, angels. All we have is our siblings. For Sam, he of course cares about his mom and dad but he owes everything to his brother. It was logical to honor two persons we love with the new priority of our existence.” Castiel ended, his eyes into the blue eyes of Gabrielle.

 

The wayward gang applauded alongside everyone else in the room, except for Ana and Dean. They left their chair to reach the arms of their respective brothers. Anael hugged Cas and Gabrielle carefully, dropping a kiss on his cheek. Castiel and Anael used to be the two favorite of Gabriel. He used to call them both the ginger squad, and they liked to play in the Garden of Eden when they were newborn angels. It wasn’t a surprise for Anael to hear about Cas’ choice, neither Sam. Gabriel was an archangel -the only one- he truly respected. He knew what it meant to Castiel, to have his daughter named after someone he loved, when family is so complicated upstairs. In the other side, Dean hugged Sam thigh. Sam smiled, patting his shoulder. When he looked at him once their embrace was over, Sam frowned.

 

“Dean… are you crying?” He asked, not very sure.

“What?” The Winchester answered wiping a tear off his cheek. “No, I’m not. I’m just wasted.” He tried.

 

Sam gave him a _Come on Dean, I know you_ look and Dean snorted. “Maybe… thank you Sammy. It really means a lot that, my niece, is wearing my name.” He whispered.

 

“I owe you everything, Dean. Don’t thank me. I know if anything should happen to Cas, or me, you will take care of her as your own, like you did with me.” Sam said with sincerity, and his brother took a few steps backs fighting the urge to cry.

 

“We have one more announcement to make” Sam said, when he heard the girls squad ready to shut down the video call.

 

“She is God’s granddaughter, so we agreed that baptism wasn’t really necessary.” Castiel laughed, soon hearing the guests laughing too. He continued. “We still wanted to name someone special by her side. Rowena will be her godmother.”

 

The witch smiled to the boys, still grateful for the proposition she gladly accepted.

 

“This is amazing!” Jody said. “We are waiting Gabrielle and you for Christmas at Sioux Falls!”

 

“Our course. We will be there in December.” Sam confirmed, waving back at the girls before closing the computer.

 

Castiel wedged Gabrielle in place in Sam’s arms, giving him the bottle once she was still. The hunter put slowly the teat in her mouth, a little smile growing on her face around it.

 

“It’s the first time she smiles, and it’s because she’s eating. Are you sure this isn’t Dean’s daughter, Cas?” Sam asked, ironically.

 

“You were the same when you were a baby Sam” her mom informed him.

 

The angel tilted his head, frowning his eyebrows. “Yes, I am sure Sam. I like Dean, but this isn’t you.” The angel answered naturally, not noticing that Sam was joking — angels.

 

“What?!” Dean asked, falsely offended. “I wasn’t good enough to be the father?”

 

The angel shook his head, the Winchester humor not really working with him even though he was around them for almost 15 years.

 

“This isn’t what I mean, Dean. I — it’s Sam.“ Castiel announced.

 

...

 

“Yeah, and?” Dean continued.

 

...

 

“I didn’t want my boyfriend to think that I would ever have sex with you.” Castiel finally said.

 

This was unexpected. The whole conversation was a quiproquo, and Sam heard only half of it. He was busy with his daughter just focused on the last sentence and he was certain that his heart missed a heartbeat fifty thousand times in a row. He heard Castiel defining him as his boyfriend. He was internally smiling, feeling butterflies in his stomach when he was hearing the angel’s rogue voice saying _my boyfriend_ over and over again in his head. For a minute, all the noises in the room were the men of letters’ machines and Gabrielle’s mouth.

 

“Boyfriend?” Dean asked, looking at Sam.

 

“Yes.” The angel simply answered.

 

“Crap!” Dean cried out, starting to run in the room with the Impala’s car keys around the war table.

 

“DEAN! Come back here. I won, I will drive for an entire week“ Jack screamed, running after the oldest Winchester.

 

“What the hell…” Sam asked, looking astonished as everyone else.

 

Jack stopped running in front of Dean, his hand mending his due.

 

“Dean and I made a bet. That you and Cas would have been a couple at some point. I said that I would have happened right after her birth, and Dean said it would have happened in a few years because you suck in relationships. I’m quoting him.” Jack explained.

 

“I — I give you baby for one day. Just because you cheated with your archangel’s power to see the future.” Dean said, bad sport.

 

The smile on Jack’s face when Dean gave him the keys and the distress on his brother’s face was enough for Sam to not telling the details about that couple thing, especially that he didn’t know them yet.

 

All the guests left the bunker in the middle of the night. Gabrielle was sleeping in the crib in front the convertible bed they were laying on. As the best habit they both had, Castiel was cuddling with Sam, his head on his chest.

 

“I am sure I asked you a question the other night, and I’m still waiting for an answer.” Sam said, his fingers going through the angel’s dark hair.

 

“Why you? Is that still what you want to know?” The angel answered, his look on their daughter.

 

“Yes.” Sam answered.

 

“Sam… you don’t think you deserve to be loved by an angel. You aren’t doubting my love for you but you feel worthless of it. ” Castiel whispered.

 

The hunter didn’t answer anything at first and sighed sadly, knowing perfectly that Castiel was right about everything.

 

“Yeah. Maybe. You aren’t supposed to be the boyfriend of the boy with dem—“ Sam started.

 

He was interrupted by the lips of Castiel against his own, chasing a tender kiss the man of letters’ gladly offered. The following sigh from Sam the angel felt against his mouth was a happy one this time. Sam felt reassured, it was the few moments his brain wasn’t fighting him. He wasn’t over thinking things when Castiel was kissing him, sleeping next to him, when he was hugging him or when Sam was with his baby girl. He was focused, on that happiness. And Castiel wanted to offer him those moments.

 

“I want to be the boyfriend of Sam Winchester, the father of my daughter, the man I admire and I cherish. I want to know if he wants to be mine?” Castiel asked.

 

“Yes, he does.” Sam answered, like a promise.

 •••

**October 31th.**

 

Castiel woke up in the middle of the night. Gabrielle, the nearly 5 months old baby was waiting his dad to come and get her, for her nightly bottle. Her smile grew on her face when he saw the angel above her crib.

 

“Yeah, I know.” Castiel whispered.

 

He slowly left the room 46, carrying the little one against his chest. The floor of the bunker was terribly cold. He was only in socks but he felt the coldness between his toes. He checked that Gabe’s feet were warm enough before he put her on the baby safety sitting chair on the kitchen’s table. He grabbed the milk in the fridge and filled the bottle with it, waiting for it to boil. He sat on the table next to the baby’s seat, looking at his face. There wasn’t a day the angel didn’t think about how pretty she was. Her eyes was the exact same blue as his. He was totally blaming Sam for how tall she was already.

 

“You can’t be 65 centimeters long. You are like a giant baby.” Castiel said jokingly, tinkling her little stomach.

 

Gabrielle laughed, her arms mending for the food when she saw the angel coming back with it. He shook the battle to mix the liquid and the grace he added from the men of letters’ needle and put the teat in her mouth. She suckled the drink slowly, her fingers on Castiel’s hand. She pressured delicately his hand when she was done, and Castiel put the bottle away.

 

“So, what now uh? Usually you want to go back to bed. What do —“ Castiel stopped.

 

She noticed that Gabrielle eyes turned wet. A few seconds later she was sobbing, looking completely terrified. Castiel felt the panic invading his veins. She usually never cry. Because she is an angel and when she needs something, she made sure that Castiel knew precisely what. But at this moment, Castiel didn’t know what was the problem, and he hated that. He took her in his arms, rocking her slowly against his shoulder, patting his back with little circles.

 

“Gabe… what’s wrong.” Castiel whispered.

 

Her cries intensified themselves. The angel walked towards the bedroom, thinking that he was a better idea if he could awake Sam in case it was an emergency. When he come back in the room, it all started to make sense. Sam was still asleep, but it wasn’t restful. The hunter was sweating, his hair gluing on his forehead, his nails sinking in the pillow. His breath was irregular, shaking, muttering since he wasn’t clearly understanding. He was having a nightmare, and the tears of Gabrielle wasn’t making the task easy. The angel kissed the forehead of his daughter, and laid  her on her cradle.

 

“Give me one minute. I know…” he whispered.

 

He ran in the bed, kneeling on the mattress next to Sam. He put a strong hand on his shoulder, shaking his body calmly so he couldn’t believe in what happening in the horror show on his head.

 

“Sam… It’s me, Castiel. I’m here, you can wake up. You are safe.” He said with a slow voice, stroking his wet cheek.

 

It took multiple minutes but Sam woke up his head resting against Castiel’s chest, the angel holding him close.

 

“Cas…” he started, holding his breath. He exhaled, trying to have a more regular breathing. “My head hurts…” he added.

 

He looked around, and finally accepted that it was his reality. He thanked Castiel when he offered a bottle of fresh water. He took a few sips of the drink and threw the bottle away.

 

“I am so sorry…” he finally said.

 

Castiel slid his fingers on his chin, raising his face so their eyes can meet. Cas was close to answer but Sam turned his face to the crib, looking at Gabrielle’s face. Even if she was more calm now, the marks of the tears were still printed her face.

 

“Wh— is she okay? Cas is she okay?” The hunter asked, his voice high-pitched.

 

The angel released Sam free of their embrace, and left the bed for a minute. The hunter sat on the bed, taking deep breaths to recover of this unpleasant event. He took a scrunchie he was holding on his wrist and did a man bun, finding the wet hair on his neck very annoying. The angel grabbed a dummy he slowly put on her mouth and carried her, until he wedged her in place on Sam’s thigh, once the hunter put a blanket on it to make it more comfortable. Visibly relaxed, she closed her eyes, ready to find some sleep again, her hand around Sam’s pinky. The angel sat next to them, dropping a quick kiss on Sam’s shoulder and then rest his head on it.

 

“Did I… scared her?” Sam asked hesitantly, not really wanted the answer of that question.

 

He stroked her back with his free hand, while the angel was thinking.

 

“Not intentionally.” The angel started, not willing to hide the truth.

 

“We were in the kitchen and she was done eating. I thought we were going to sit and read like we do after her meals, but she started crying. I didn’t figure it out at first. But I know now.” He said, his voice trying to explain to Sam that it wasn’t his fault. “I should have thought about this sooner. It’s your daughter. Her grace won’t appear until the end of this year, her wings next year, but I think the angel radio is starting to develop. First with me, and now with you. I don’t know what your nightmare was but if you called her name in it, she might have sense it.”

 

The angel took a pause when he felt the tension on Sam’s arms.

 

“Sam, it’s not on you. When an angel loves a human, our abilities can be very _very_ sensitive. And she’s a baby. She will only focus on us for a short period of time. It’s like her first tooth.”

 

Sam swallowed hard. “Can you turn it off?”

 

Castiel nodded and put two fingers on Gabe’s forehead.

 

“It should be enough for now.” The angel said, looking at Sam who was staring at her.

 

“She was worried about you. It’s Halloween, Sam. It’s always the time of the year you hate. Maybe we should not go ou—“ he stopped.

 

“No. No, it’s her first Halloween. We have our costumes and Rowena is expecting us. We are doing it. I’m fine.” Sam interrupted him.

 

The hunter was exhausted of the nightmare he experienced. It was always the same. Jessica kissing him during the halloween party, and then burning into flames. And more horrors he didn’t want to explain, not again. Not to Cas. He didn’t want him to feel sorry for him, he hated the look he had on his face right now.

 

“This is your call. If you want to stay here and we stay with you, tell me. Everyone would understand.” The angel said, smiling with he saw Sam nodding with sincerity. He hesitated for a second and continued. “It may be a terrible timing to say it but Sam… your hair. This haircut looks good on you. You are handsome.”

 

Sam decided to let his bad thoughts in a corner of his head. He relaxed himself thanks to Castiel, and he laughed, leaning on him.

 

“You find me beautiful?” Sam asked to tease Cas.

 

“Yes. Extremely.” The angel answered, blushing.

 

Sam approached his face closer until he kissed the angel slowly.

 

“You are beautiful too, Angel.” The hunter whispered, stealing another quick kiss to his boyfriend. “Once the other angel in the room decides she’s done sleeping, we will get prepared.”

 

Sam, Castiel, Gabrielle were ready to celebrate Halloween later that day. Sam installed his daughter in the pram, a smirk on his face. Castiel was standing next to it with their matching costumes. Gaby was wearing a slytherin body, and Cas insisted to draw the scar on her forehead, the same Harry had. Sam tried to argue with Castiel about this -weird- choice but he gave up quickly when Castiel threatened him to blast him with his powers.

 

“We are ready to go.” Castiel said adjusting his tie.

 

Sam nodded and they left the bunker. They met with Rowena fifteen minutes later in the center of Lebanon.

 

“Hello boys” Rowena greeted them warmly. “And hello, pretty one.” She added, looking at her goddaughter.

 

Rowena and Castiel were walking with the baby in front of Sam, commenting all the decorations around them. Sam stayed a little bit behind, watching them with heart eyes.

 

Sam laughed very hard when a little kid dressed as Cat noir stopped in front of Castiel and Rowena.

 

“Trick or Treat?” The boy asked, his little basket ready for candies.

 

“I have the book of the damned on my bag.” Rowena answered, looking confused.

 

“Rowena, I don’t think it is appropriate to give a powerful spell to a seven years old child. Sam told me that we should only give them a few candies because their teeth are fragile.” The angel answered, searching for sweets in the back of the pram.

 

He gave so much pieces of candy that Sam was sure it would be out of it in ten minutes, especially when the kids stopped them every steps they were making.

Hopefully for the town, Rowena was the mother of the king of hell and now one of his closest friend and she could keep the bag of candies full. She was giggling with the angel when they saw “scary” monsters made with paper, and the pumpkins on the ground in front of the houses. He rolled his eyes with amusement when he noticed that she was disguised as a witch, with a long cape printed with webs. It was definitely the theme of this Halloween, witches. Rowena as the great coven sorceress, Gabrielle as the little slytherin baby and Castiel… Sam wasn’t sure how to feel about it. He shouldn’t be surprised now to find Cas extremely attractive, but his outfit left Sam with his mouth wide opened. He was wearing a black thigh jean, with a white belt, a white shirt who had the two first button opened and a red/gold striped tie. The biggest change was the black trench coat he was wearing. He wasn’t looking really different than the one he was wearing _well everyday_ but the dark color made his blue eyes more intense. He was se—

 

“Sam?” The angel asked.

 

Sam excused himself, he didn’t notice that he distanced them this much with his thoughts. He quickly reached their level, and slipped a hand on the angel shoulder, walking in the same speed.

 

“We can make a stop here.” Rowena proposed. It was almost nine, and it was now almost night. There was a food cabin at the end of the road.

 

“Yes, it sounds great” The angel answered while they were walking towards the place. They sat on a picnic table, covered with fake spiderwebs and steaming artificial candles. The waiter arrived a few minutes later, greeted them and asking for their orders.

 

“I’ll have a plate of Spooky Tapas.” Rowena answered.

“A medium cocoa for me. And a bottle of fresh water.” The man of letters said next.

“I will have a salted popcorn skull stick with a caramel sauce.” The angel ended the order.

 

When the waiter nodded and left, Sam turned to CAs who was sitting next to him on the bench.

 

“What? This is good.” Castiel said when he noticed that he was staring at him with a weird face.

 

“I didn’t say anything Cas!” Sam defended himself, a pout on his face.

 

“Sure you haven’t.” Castiel rolled his eyes, ready to join his lips but he was interrupted by the orders who arrived on the table. “Miam!”

 

The angel took his stick with his two hands and took a huge bite of popcorn in his mouth. Sam laughed quietly with Rowena. He grabbed the baby bottle in the bag and filled it with fresh water.

 

“Come here. Even if I think your dad will need the water more than you baby.” Sam snorted, taking Gabrielle in his arms when he heard her babbling when she smelled the food.

 

The little girl smiled, suckling the water from the bottle. Her fingers tried to grip the decoration on the table, looking curiously at Sam’s drink, still untouched on it.

 

“You will drink this too, soon. This is cocoa with marshmallows. This is delicious.” He answered, even if his daughter didn’t really ask any questions. He pushed the bottle away when she was done, sipping his drink with his free hand. He frowned when he heard the witch laughing while she was looking at Cas. Sam laughed with her, giving her Gabrielle for a minute.

 

“What…” Sam started, totally laughing at the view of the angel. Castiel’s had a popcorn glued on his cheek.

“How did it even happened” he continued, removing the food from his face.

 

“I don’t know. But this is good. But I’m thirsty now.” The angel answered, taking another bite of popcorn when he sank it into the caramel.

 

“No kidding.” The hunter answered, giving to the angel the rest of the bottle of water.

 

“Thank you Sam” he smiled.

 

 _He is adorable. My boyfriend is adorable,_ Sam thought. He took his phone when he felt it vibrating.

 

_[Heya Sammy. I will go to the Halloween party at work and I won’t be back before tomorrow. Don’t wait for me. And don’t die.]_

 

He shrugged and pocketed his mobile back.

 

“What is it?” Castiel asked, wiping his face with a towel.

 

“Dean won’t be home tonight. Partying with the garage.”

 

Castiel nodded.

 

“We won’t be —“ the angel started but he stopped with a disgusted scream, echoing Sam’s.

 

A group of teenagers, disguised as Minions from Despicable Me, just sprayed the clients with a green stimy mixture they couldn’t explain. The gang laughed and disappeared in a heartbeat, letting Sam and Castiel completely dirty on the bench.

 

“What the fuck is that” Sam complained, when he felt this atrocity on his hair and all over his clothes and face.

 

Castiel in the same position, looked horrified.

“Blood isn’t bad at this.” He added, disgusted.

 

They both righted, trying to clean themselves with towels and their hands but everything was worth.

 

“Rowena, do you mind installing Gabe in the pram and bring her home? We don’t know what’s in it. I don’t want her to be infected or something.” Sam asked, looking worryingly at his hands covered with a terrible smell and a more terrible mixture on it.

 

“Of course Samuel.” Rowena answered.

 

The three of them were back in the bunker twenty minutes later.

 

“Her pajama is on the coffee table on her room. Thank you for this.” Sam said to the witch who nodded and brought the nearly sleeping baby in her room, to prepare her to bed.

 

The angel took off his trench coat and sighed. “There is more of it on my shirt. And my tie is totally ruined.” Castiel said sadly, playing with it.

 

Sam snorted, clearing his throat. “I’m going to take a shower. For five hours I think.”

 

“I will check that Gaby is sleeping well and sent Rowena home. She has to get prepared for the Witching Hour with her coven.” The angel looked at Sam walking towards the bathroom when the hunter nodded and told him to thank the witch for her help.

 

Sam came in the bathroom, sighing every step he made. He felt mucky, literally. He was relieved to finally took off his leather jacket he threw away, soon all his stimy clothes were on the floor too. He turned on the water of the shower, quickly slipping in it. The first thing he did was to wash his hair for at least fifteen minutes with three different shampoos he had. He finally felt the natural appearance of his hair, minus the stinky liquid on it. He jumped in surprise when he heard the door of the bathroom opening. He still was behind the shower curtain. He titled his head, to see what it was.

 

“Sam… Rowena is gone, Gabrielle is asleep. But, I can’t take it off. It’s _everywhere_.” The angel said, almost resigned.

 

The angel was in front of him, standing still on the bath math, only wearing his underwear and his white shirt still covered with the awful mixture.

 

“Do — Do you want to come in? In the shower, I mean.” Sam asked, swallowing hard.

 

The angel nodded, and he started to unbutton his shirt. Sam was captivating with the hands of the angel taking off each button, one by one, so slowly that it was hypnotic. He released a breath he didn’t know he was holding when Castiel’s shirt slipped off his shoulder and fell on the ground. The angel took a few more steps until he reached the entry of the shower. For a few seconds, Sam usual intelligent brain was completely off. Castiel and him were a couple for months now, but they never saw each other naked. They never were intimate like that before. His first instinct was to cover his lower abdomen with the body puff, when the angel entered in the shower, standing in front of him. He noticed that the angel was still wearing his underwear, the fabric completely wet now.

 

“I would like to wash my hair with your cinnamon shampoo. The one you usually use after the hunts.” The angel asked, looking at the bottles in the corner of the cubicle.

 

The hunter nodded and Castiel turned over, to give Sam a better access at his hair. The hunter swallowed hard for the third time in the past five minutes, trying to avoid the drops of water rolling down Castiel’s spine, crashing on the elastic band at the lower of his back. He put a bit of shampoo on his hands and slid them in Cas’ hair. He rubbed his scalp in circles, to get rid of the mixture on it. Castiel was totally immobile. From that angle Sam couldn’t see it but the angel had his eyes closed, enjoying the long fingers of his boyfriend massaging his hair. The hunter took the shower head to end the washing of his hair. The angel smiled when he felt cleaner already.

 

“Cas…” Sam whispered. “I think you have some of it in your underwear.” He finally ended, his cheek reddened.

 

He noticed that some green spots were staining his boxer.

 

“Oh. You want me to take it off?” The angel asked, his hands on his waistline.

 

“Yes.” Sam said calmly in appearance, his entire being screaming inside.

 

The angel listened to Sam and took off his black boxer slowly, the fabric slipping slowly along his legs until he reached the bottom of the tub in a loudly sound in the contact with the water. Sam took a deep breathe when he saw the naked body of the angel in front of him. He never doubted that it was perfect, but he wasn’t expecting the shapes of his boyfriend to be like _that._ He took a bit more of shampoo, not realizing that he get closer to his body. He put his hands on the angel’s shoulder blades, to wash it first. He stopped when he felt some tension from Castiel.

 

“Sam.” The angel started. “Maybe you shouldn’t touch that part. Yet. If that’s okay.” He whispered.

 

“Oh — I’m sorry.” The hunter answered, taking a step back. “I was done anyway” He said, turning off the water.

 

Castiel felt he still had some shampoo all over his body, and frowned when he saw Sam leaving the shower, grabbing a towel he covered his body with.

 

“I’m going in my room.” He answered with a forced smile, leaving the bathroom in a heartbeat.

 

Castiel sighed sadly, turning on the water to end his shower.

 

The hunter was embarrassed when he arrived on his room, standing in front of his dressing. He was embarrassed because he was hard, and embarrassed because his boyfriend didn’t want him to touch him. He grabbed a new underwear and a black sweat pant. It was highly uncomfortable to wear in his condition. He heard Castiel’s footsteps in the corridor and soon after he met with the angel in front of him. The angel was wearing a long Sam’s T-shirt from Stanford he didn’t even know where he found it, his naked hairy legs and his wet hair distracting Sam to hear what Cas was saying.

 

“Mhm — Sorry what?” Sam asked, squirming.

 

“Are you okay?” He asked again, peering at Sam with a concerned look.

 

Sam thought for a few seconds, his hand on his waist. He nodded, decided to go fix this _issue_ before he could go to bed with Castiel.

 

“Yes. Yes… I think I forgot to do something. I will be back soon” he answered, starting to walk to leave the room but Castiel held him back a strong hand around his wrist.

 

“Sam. You don’t have to leave.” The angel said with sincerity, his blue eyes on his. “You can do what you have to do here.”

 

Sam closed the door, frowning. “I don’t know what you are talking about. I mean the books are in the library.” He tried.

 

The angel couldn’t kept quiet a laugh, patting the free space next to him on the bed he was sitting on now.

 

“I think we need to talk.” He said, watching the hunter sit with difficulty next to him. “I am sorry if the erection you have is uncomfortable. I think this might be my fault.” He said, a hand on Sam’s cheek.

 

 _“_ I am sorry for that… I was dealing with it and come back to you later.” He said, avoiding the angel’s look.

 

“Why do you think this would bother me? This isn’t the first time it happened.” Castiel answered, stroking his cheek.

 

“Well this is more awkward.” Sam snorted.

 

“It isn’t, Sam. It is flattering.” He said.

 

“It is awkward when your boyfriend doesn’t want you _that way_.” Sam whispered, almost to himself.

 

Castiel stopped the stroking of his cheek when he heard the last sentence of Sam. He took Sam’s face in his two strong hands, forcing the Hazel’s eyes on his own.

 

“Don’t you dare think that I don’t want you, Sam.” The angel said, a mix of angriness and fear in his rogue voice.

“Because I do want you. I always will.”

 

“You stopped me in the shower.” He snorted again.

 

“Yes. Because your hands were on my scapulas. This is where my wings begin. Of course we can feel human excitement through our vessel body, but our wings are another level of arousal. You are the only one I would allow to even think about them, touch them. But sooner I was afraid I would lose control, and hurt you.” The angel explained with a calm voice.

 

“I don’t understand...” The hunter answered, not sure what the angel meant. “How could you think you’d hurt me?”

 

Castiel took a deep breathe, his forehead against Sam’s.

 

“I was afraid that being sexually involved with you would trigger you…” he started, seeing the frowning face of Sam. “I know _everything_ you’ve been through, Sam.”

 

He felt the face of the hunter shaking in his hands when Sam understood what he was trying to say without being rude. When he tried to leave his embrace, feeling ashamed, Castiel added with a reassuring voice.

 

“There is nothing to be ashamed of, Sam. What happened in the cage, with Lucifer and Michael… I didn’t want to make you notice my desire, until you were ready. And even if you never are, I don’t care.” He whispered.

 

He finally let go of Sam’s face, letting him some space to think. He looked at him in silence, the hunter definitely lost his in thoughts. A few minutes later, the hunter still didn’t talk but he took Castiel’s hand, directing it on his thigh. He slowly guided his hand on his lower abdomen.

 

“Sam…” Castiel started when he noticed what Sam was doing.

 

The man of letters closed the distance between them, locking their lips together, in a demanding kiss.

 

“I trust you. And I want you to touch me. I can’t change the past, I can’t say it’s not terrifying. But I want this. Even if it’s just that for now, it will help me, and our relationship. Because I want us to be full into this.” He whispered against his mouth, taking possession of his lips one more time.

 

Sam took off their hands from his lower abdomen, and stood up right in front of Cas. He never left his eyes while he was stripping. He took off his shirt, and then his sweatpants. He took a step closer, his arms dangling.

 

“If you want me, all of me, take it off _Castiel_.” He said with a strong voice.

 

The angel looked at the body in front of him. He didn’t know what to do. He knew, he knew all the technical humans ways to foreplay. But he didn’t want to be abrupt. He put his two hands on Sam’s waist, pulling him closer. His lower abdomen was in front of his face, it made it easier to kiss the bare skin of Sam under his belly button. He felt a shiver under his lips, agreeing that it was a good sign that Sam was okay. He kept kissing this part of his skin, the one he only wanted to taste. He let his lips reach the fabric of his underwear, tenderly kissing his hard and sensitive penis through it. Sam took his upper lip between his teeth, shutting down a moan.

 

“If you don’t want it anymore, just push me away Sam. I mean it.” Castiel said, his warm breath tickling Sam’s lower abdomen.

 

Sam nodded, impatient and almost begging. “I will. For now all I can think about is your mouth on that part of me.”

 

Castiel smirked, letting his tongue licking slowly the fabric of his boxer. _Too slowly._

 

“Cas, _please._ ” Sam muttered, his pelvis squirming.

 

Castiel liked it. The way Sam wanted him so bad, the way all of his body was begging for him. He decided that he was teasing him enough and took off his underwear, freeing his hard cock. Sam faint a moan again, when felt his breath caressing the head of it. It didn’t take long to Castiel to take it fully into his mouth, his tongue swirling around the length of it. The angel let his fingers play with Sam’s balls carefully, feeling the hunter’s body getting tense when his hand was to close of his backside. Sam titled his head, his eyes closed, enjoying the delicious lips of his boyfriend licking him from head to base, and their unbearable rhythm. He slid a hand into Cas’s hair, gently pressuring the back of his head. The angel understood, with the groans Sam was trying to keep quiet and the fingers gripping his hair, that he was allowed to go on. He loudly accelerated the back and forths on his penis, following the pace of Sam’s irregular breathing.

 

“Cas… please stop.” Sam stuttered, the angel immediately halting his movements.

 

He looked up to the hunter, who leaned down to kiss roughly his dribbling mouth. Sam put his two hands on the angel’s shoulders and pinned him on the bed. Cas adjusted his body to be more comfortable on it, his tongue massaging together while Sam climbed on his legs, smashing their lower abdomens. Their lips separated for one second, Castiel taking off Sam’s shirt, and met again, Sam sucking the bottom of his lip. Soon, his mouth found Cas’ jaw, kissing it softly, then he reached his neck and nipped the angelic skin. Castiel body’s arched when Sam’s mouth took his nipple hostage, suddenly crashing their cocks together again who made the hunter growl. Sam shoved his hand between his legs, to get rid of the fabric that prevented their bare genitals to collide. He rubbed them both, his wanting mouth on Cas’ again.

 

“I want you.” Sam whispered, his stammering voice almost saying it all.

 

“Then _take me._ ” The angel rasped.

 

Sam left the bed for a second, Castiel using that time to roll over, now laying on his stomach, a smirk on the corner of his lips when he watched Sam looking for the lubrifiant in the bedside furniture. He heard the triumphant _I fucking got you_ the hunter said, his impatient hands trying to open it. Sam sat on Castiel’s thighs, applying the gel on his erection, his eyes captivated by the muscled butt cheeks the angel was offering. His sticky fingers were tracing their contours, before the tip of them tickled his butthole, preparing him gently. Castiel jumped in surprise, biting the pillow he had between his teeth.

 

“Same goes for you Cas. If you —“ Sam started but Castiel interrupted him.

 

“Sam, I’m an angel of the lord. You won’t break me. Just do it.” Cas breathed, muffling a moan when he felt Sam’s third finger.

 

He never experienced that before, but at this moment he understood what humans loved so much about sex. How pleasurable. Sam snorted. “All right, Angel.”

 

The hunter removed his fingers, grabbed Castiel’s hips and quickly replaced the space with his heavy cock. Once he worked his way in and made sure Castiel was fine, he started to move slowly. It was silly to think that _now_ but having sex with someone he loved was different. He didn’t have sex with anybody in a very long time. His confidence started to grow in him, so his movements became quicker and deeper, until the head of his penis hit Castiel’s prostate over and over again.

He smirked when he felt the angel arching again under his movements, his finger sliding into Cas’ sweaty shoulder blades, stroking the bones he was feeling.

 

“Oh — you do not…” Castiel whispered, his words muffled in the pillow he was still holding very tightly.

 

The angel, trying to channel his excitement slid a hand on his own cock, stroking himself while the hunter was hitting his spot another time. It was good. _So good_ , everywhere that the angel didn’t know how to humanely react without letting out a moan with his true voice. Sam increased his pace, before he came the exact same moment the angel did. After a few minutes of silent resting, Sam pulled out, and  laid down next to Castiel, wrapping a hand against his shoulder. The angel let his head rest against Sam’s chest. The hunter reached his forehand to kiss him, happily sighing.

 

“That was… thank you Cas.” Sam said, his hand stroking his arm with the tip of his nails.

 

“Thank me? I should be the one thanking you, Sam. I’ve read a lot of things about orgasms, but this was… definitely something we should experience more in the future.” The angel said calmly, dropping a few kisses on Sam’s chest.

 

“A depraved angel already, and it’s just the first time we have sex.” Sam snorted, the blue eyed man laughing quietly. “I was thanking you for respecting me. My boundaries.”

 

Castiel nodded, covering their two bodies with the blanket.

 

“Cas, uh.. won’t you mind cleaning us up? It’s,” he checked the clock “1:30 am I really don’t want to take a shower again.” He snorted, his look almost begging.

 

Cas’ eyes glowed for a few seconds, and Sam already felt cleaner, so was the entire room.

 

“The shower… you really needed help with that awful green mixture?” Sam asked suddenly, holding the angel closer.

 

“I didn’t really try. I just wanted to take a shower with my boyfriend.” Castiel confessed.

 

"Of course you did." Sam muffled a laugh and they both fell asleep.

 

When Sam woke up, it was only 08:00 am. He rubbed his tired eyes, pulling a pajama on. Castiel was still sleeping. The hunter looked at him with a tender look, dropping a kiss on his cheek. The angel squirmed, sinking his head deeper into the pillow now that Sam’s chest was gone. He grabbed his phone, a message from Dean he read on his way to Gabrielle’s room, a text he received 37 minutes ago.

 

_[Sammy. Don’t freak out. Gabe is in the kitchen with me.]_

 

Sam frowned and changed his direction to meet his brother on the kitchen. Dean was sitting on the chair, Gabrielle in his arms. He was feeding her with a bottle of milk, grimacing at her every sips of drink she was taking.

 

“Hey there.” Dean said, his brother approaching the two of them.

 

“Hey there baby.” Sam said, focused on his daughter. He put a little kiss on her head, stroking her little stomach.

“Hey Dean. What is she doing here?” He asked, serving himself a drink of orange juice while sat next to his brother.

 

“I just came back home from the party. An epic party. I’m sure there was real ghosts there, I will tell you everything about it later. I went to see my little niece that I was missing very very much, and she was awake. She was just in her crib hugging her moose, and she was just.. waiting.” He explained, putting the bottle away once she was done.

 

He carried the little child against his shoulder, rocking her tenderly.

 

“How is she never crying?” He asked.

 

“She’s an angel.” Castiel answered, coming into the kitchen wearing the same Stanford shirt he had yesterday and grey sweatpants.

 

Instead of taking a free chair in front of the Winchester, he sat on Sam’s laps, wrapping his hands around his neck.

 

“And then what? Angels don’t cry?” He wondered, patiently waiting for Gabrielle to burp.

 

“Not really. She probably already knew that you were coming for her. She just waited. I checked on her at five, she wasn’t close to wake up for a few more hours. I’m sorry if this was an inconvenient for you Dean.” Dean answered.

 

Once Gabrielle burped, Dean wedged the baby in Castiel’s arm when he unwrapped Sam’s neck, the angel hugging her softly.  Sam kissed her feet, smiling back at her when she saw her two fathers cuddling her this morning.

 

“Really? It’s my pleasure. I went to check if one of you was awake, you looked pretty dead in there.” Dean said with a tease in his voice, rolling his eyes when he noticed the blush on his brother’s face.

 

“Thank you, Dean.” Sam answered honestly. “What are your plans today?”

 

“Sleeping. Definitely. What about you?” He asked,

 

“I saw that mom sent me a mail. I think I’m gonna work a little, and spend my day with Castiel and Gabrielle. We still start the holidays’ planification. Thanksgiving and Christmas. Mostly xmas.” Sam said, looking for the angel approval’s of his schedule.

 

“Yes. We will check Gaby’s angelic health this afternoon, and we will plan all of it.” Castiel answered, his daughter playing with a stand of his hair. “Anael would like to join us for Christmas. She wanted to spend a little time with her family. She’s becoming more human than she was expecting, I suppose.” The angel smiled. “Is that okay for you?”

 

“Oh yes. It is.” Dean said with a flirty smile on his face.

 

“Do you want to date my sister Dean?” The angel asked, tilting his head with confusion. He already saw that look on his best friend before, it was the face he had with every new women he met, really. The face that was screaming sex.

 

“I don’t know, do you want to fuck my brother?” Dean pretended to ask. “Oh wait…” he snorted, taking a step back to avoid Sam’s shoe he was throwing at him.

 

“Shut up Dean.” Sam laughed.

 

The oldest Winchester shrugged and walked into his bedroom.

 

“This wasn’t the answer to my question.” Castiel said, looking at Sam, who rolled his eyes.

 

“Dean’s typical behavior.”

 

Sam and Castiel were on the playroom, another room they customized. They were literally hundreds of doors in the bunker and they planned of made all of them as they liked. It was mostly a room filled with books, a huge couch and toys for kids. The hunter was laying down the sofa, his legs intertwined with Castiel’s under a blanket. His was typing on his computer who were on his laps, looking above the machine to watch his daughter playing with his stuffed animals, sitting on Castiel’s stomach. If he was honest, he was spending a little too much time looking at his family instead of doing his researches. This, this is all he ever wanted. A family. His family.

 

“Sam, you aren’t working very much.” Castiel announced with some tease in his voice, patting his ankle.

 

“Sorry, I was distracting by the little one.” He said, smiling when he heard her giggling, trying to bite the animal but she was having her dummy in her mouth.

 

“The mermaids. Did you find their headquarters?”

 

“It can be anywhere in the Lake Michigan or in the Lake Huron.” The hunter sighed, typing more aggressively the keyboard, looking for clues on the latest police reports.

 

“Fishermen were found dead too far away from the water. They should have find a way to stay on humans’ form more longer. Look, I will send all I’ve got about the case to the Hunters and we will check Gabrielle.” Sam said.

 

He closed his computer and put it away on the table once he sent the emails with the documents he could have find. He took his daughter in his arms, letting the angel standing up. They both walked towards the medical room. He laid Gabrielle on the kids’ table room, unbuttoning her pink body. She didn’t like that, and her teary eyes made them both understand that pretty well.

 

“I know you don’t like that. But it’s not gonna be long. We are right here.” Sam whispered, sliding his pinky finger in her hand.

 

She wrapped her whole hand around his finger, and Sam took a step aside to let space for Castiel. The angel put his hand a few centimeters above her body, his grace escaping his palm. Castiel's’ blue irises were glowing, and Gabrielle’s were too.

 

“How’s she doing?” Sam asked, his free hand stroking Cas’ shoulder. “Her vessel is strong enough?” He continued, a little bit of nervousness in his voice.

“Yes. Her human body is developing very well. Her bones are totally fine. She’s very strong Sam.” The angel dropped a fast kiss on his lips.

 

”I am not not doubting that.” He said with sincerity, rebuttonning her clothes. “See, Dad was fast.” He whispered, taking his back against his chest.

 

The little girl nestled her head in his neck, looking at Castiel who were staring at the medical table he used before. Sam was ready to leave the room but he stopped when he noticed that the angel was still. “Cas?”

 

The angel nodded, waiting for Sam to continue. “Are you okay?”

 

“Pretty much. I was wondering if you remember the day I extracted Gadreel’s grace from your body and then I told you that I liked you.” The angel turning over to face the hunter again. He took a few more steps to stay

 

“I almost died that day. But if you would have told me they you liked me I would have remembered that Cas” the hunter answered with confusion.

 

“I told you that nothing was worth losing you. We shared a PB&J sandwich. I stayed with you to heal you every nights. I thought it was clear that I was smitten with you.” He frowned.

 

“You —“ Sam giggled, shaking his head. “You weren’t very clear about that. How am I even sure that you still are smitten with me?” Sam teased him, walking towards to kitchen and Castiel followed them.

 

“I am smitten with you, Sam Winchester.” The angel whispered, with a tone in his voice that gave the hunter a lot of butterflies in his stomach.

 

Castiel wasn’t seeing his face but he felt him smile. And it was enough for him to smile too.

 •••

 

**December 22st.**

 

“Cas, I can't find her beanie. The purple one with the the bear?” Sam sighed, rummaging in the dressing.

 

“I’ve got it.” The angel answered from across the corridor.

 

The hunter rolled his eyes, annoyed with him for wasting his time looking for something who were already on her daughter’s head when he met the two of them a few minutes later.

 

They joined Dean in the impala, Sam filling the truck with all the bags they needed for a week of holidays, far away in Vermont. They agreed with Jody that the whole family couldn’t fit in her house in Sioux Falls, so they rented an immense cabin in the mountains to celebrate Christmas together.

 

“You drive for five hours, then I will.” Sam cleared his throat, sitting in the passenger seat. “And we will trade again.”

 

It took them less that 23 hours to reach the Vermont. When Dean left the car after almost 4 hours straight of driving, he was thrilled.

 

“I can’t feel my ass anymore.” He sighed, stretching himself, making Castiel and Sam laughing quietly behind him.

 

The angel took Gabe in his arms, while Dean unloaded the car with his brother. He grabbed the key he had in his pocket, opening the door of the spacious place. He felt his daughter moving, looking curiously around her. The living room with a huge fireplace was decorated with dozens of tinsels, lights, and a more huge Christmas tree next to it.

 

“Wow” The Winchester said in unison when they came inside.

 

“This place looks like Heaven. With more lights.” The angel confessed.

 

“I’ve just got a text from mom. They will be there with Jack tomorrow. Jody, Donna and the girls too. Tonight it’s just us.” Sam informed, bringing the bags in the bedroom.

 

“I’m taking the room with the king sized bed.” Dean ran into it before his brother did, jumping on the bed.

 

“Yeah of course you are.” Sam rolled his eyes, joining the bedroom at the end of the corridor.

 

He noticed that the nursery was next to this room, as he requested. It was the first time in six months they were leaving Lebanon. It was kind of a big step, to be far away from home with an hybrid baby. He put Gabrielle’s stuff in the corner of the room, and his suitcases in their bedroom — who also had a king sized bed. He carefully found his way back to the living room, stopping behind the couch Castiel was on, his daughter sitting on her left lap, listening to what he was saying.

 

“Santa Claus is an angel. A ancient type of angelic being, very powerful. He’s using his powers only to please children and make them happy. People think he’s using a sleigh and deers, but in reality he just uses his wings. Humans. They are silly to believe deers can fly all over the globe in 24 hours.” He shook his head, Gabrielle giggling on her laps.

 

Sam put a hand in front of his mouth to shut down a laugh.

 

“I think he might have a lot of gifts for you.” He whispered, noticing her eyes closing. “You are tired my love. We’re gonna tuck you to bed. I don’t know where your dad is.”

 

He wrapped his hands around her little body, her head immediately nestling against his shoulder. Castiel jumped in surprise when he felt a strong hand around his arm, and the familiar lips on his cheek.

 

“Are you spying on me, Sam? You should have told me that you were here!” Castiel questioned, brushing his arm against Sam’s while they were walking towards the nursery.

 

“I was listening what you were telling to our daughter.” Sam snorted, adjusting the blanket at the bottom of the crib.

 

Castiel laid down the girl on it, wedging the stuffed animal against her. She loved her moose.

 

“I was telling her the story of Santa.” He turned to Sam, looking at him tenderly.

 

“Is he? An angel.” Sam asked, his hand stroking Gabrielle’s stomach.

 

“Of course. He’s real. It’s just an angel only the children can believe in. It helps them understanding the concept of faith.” The angel said, regulating the alarm they installed.

 

“I see.” Sam admitted, leaving the room followed by Castiel, turning off the lights.  “It’s late. But what do you think about joining me in the backyard for a little one-to-one date?” The hunter asked, his hands stroking his cheeks. “I love my family. Our friends. But we will be so much in this house for the following week and I’d like to spend it with you.” He pouted.

 

“Yes. Of course, Sam.” He answered, starting to following the hunter but he stopped him.

 

“In my suitcase, there is a swimsuit. Black with blue stripes. You may need to put it on.” The hunter said before running away in the hallway.

 

“Why? Sam? SAM!” The angel screamed with a quiet voice to not waking up their daughter.

 

He heard Sam laughing and a door closing. He rolled his eyes and joined the bedroom, grabbing the swimsuit Sam’s told him about. He was confused. They were in a mountain, it was cold, it wasn’t requiring a swimsuit. He shrugged, putting the fabric on, and put his trench coat back on. He walked half naked with his trench coat. This was really strange, but it’s what Sam wanted. And it’d do anything to please Sam. Once he was ready, he followed the path his boyfriend took a few minutes ago. When he opened the door, he wasn’t expecting this. A room, with glassed windows. They could see the outside. The mountain in the night, the snow, the natural light of the stars and the moon, a few Christmas trees decorated. This wasn’t the most surprising thing. The swimming pool was. A huge pool was in the middle of this room, and Sam was swimming in it. _This makes sense_ , Castiel was thinking when he looked down at his outfit. He threw off his trench coat on a deckchair nearby, and joined the edges. He sat next to the ladder, his feet paddling in the warm water. He lost the sight of Sam. The hunter reappeared in front of him, after a few break strokes underwater.

 

“It’s beautiful. The place.” The angel said, while he spread his legs to let Sam shoving between them, resting his wet head on his thigh. The angel slid a hand on his hair, massaging his scalp. “And I’d say that you are too. A real mermaid.” He snorted, Sam splashing him around.

 

“You don’t want to come in?” Sam asked, dropping a kiss on his warm thigh.

 

“I — “ The angel started, looking away.

“What?” The hunter asked, straightened him up to face him.

“I can’t swim” the angel admitted.

 

A soft smile grew on Sam’s face. He opened his arms, taking a few step back on the pool.

 

“Come here. You don’t have to swim. You just have to come with me, in the water.” Sam said with a comforting voice.

 

Castiel raised the ladder close to him, and get down in the water. It was very different from a shower. It smelled like chlorine, but it was warm and pleasing. He made a few steps, reaching Sam who was approaching him. Almost like a reflex, Castiel wrapped his legs against Sam’s waist when they met. They were underwater, so his weight was different, it was easy for him to just pull closer to Sam, wrapping his neck around him.

 

“Is that something you fear, water?” Sam asked, his hand supporting the angel back.  

 

“Yes. It is.” He let his crashing against Sam’s forehead. “But I’m okay in a pool. And because you are here with me. You give me the strength to go through anything Sam…” The angel whispered, his lips now crashing against Sam’s cheek.

 

The hunter closed his eyes for a minute, feeling a shiver  running down his spine, the angel continuing. “You make me _happy._ ” He whispered against his lips, before capturing them softly.

 

Sam didn’t wait to kiss him back, his hands stroking his back which gave Castiel a huge squirm. When he broke their kiss, Sam apologized.

 

“I’m sorry.” He snorted. But after a few moment of silence, he had to ask. “Cas…” he started, moving into the water to not feel the cold surrounding their two wet bodies. “Your wings. I can’t feel them. And I can’t see them. Is that your choice?” He was biting his own bottom lip, blaming himself a little to not be able to hold on this question any longer. It was consuming me to know why. He felt its presence, its aura. But he wanted to know.

 

“Since I fell, they are shattered. They are broken. They requires a lot of grace to be visible by human. And for now I don’t have enough left, to let you see it.” He confessed, a hand stroking his boyfriend’s cheek. “They aren’t beautiful as what you could expect. I do not want to disappoint you.”

 

Sam stared at Castiel, whose face was illuminated by the rays of the moon. His eyes were shining way more than usual. “I don’t force you into anything, Cas. I—“

 

He interrupted him, a finger in front of his mouth.

 

“I know. But I want you to see them. You allowed me to witness all of your intimacy. Your mind. Your weaknesses. You allowed me to have all of you, so you will be able to have _all of me_ too.”

 

He smiled, discreetly, his lips looking for his boyfriend’s ones again. It was definitely the most romantic place they’ve been in, not the same landscape that the kisses in the bunker. Even if he’d kiss him everywhere on earth and beyond. When they both were out of breath, they enjoyed the night on the pool a little longer, and they left the area twenty minutes later. They grabbed two towels, dried themselves and went to bed after they checked that Gabrielle was fine.

 

Their life, at this precise moment, was perfect. Sam and Castiel were sleeping, in each other’s arms, in the room next to their daughter’s. Dean was somewhere close, and the entire Winchester gang was coming over. Everything was good. They were happy. _So much happy._ Too much happy, maybe, Castiel thought sometimes. When he woke up the next morning, alone in this huge bed, Castiel felt it. That something was wrong. Terribly wrong. He felt it in his muscles while he was dressing up, the trench coat back on his shoulders. He looked around, looking for the hunter but he was nowhere to be seen. Neither was his daughter. Mary, and Jack weren’t there yet, neither was the waywards. He did all the rooms of the cabin too much times. He stopped in front Dean’s door, knocking against it aggressively. The oldest Winchester barely ended to say “ _Come in_ ” that the angel was standing next to him, his hands on his phone.

 

“Dean. Have you seen Sam and Gabrielle?” He asked, while he was calling him. No one answered, but he tried it one more time.

 

“No, not since yesterday.” He yawned. “He must have go out for his jogging.”

 

Dean straightened up when he noticed Cas nervously looking for Sam’s number on his phone another time.

He grabbed his pants and his shoes, put them on with a coat.

 

“He always tells me when he’s going out with her. Something happened Dean” he snapped, throwing away his phone.

 

“Come on buddy, we will find them.” Dean said, trying to stay serene for the both of them.

 

They went through the entire home one more time, Sam wasn’t there. And their daughter weren’t. Dean texted his mom to tell her that they were going in the city in the valley. They sat on the impala, Castiel his eyes closed, trying to find any sign of them in the valley.

 

“I can’t feel her, Dean. I can’t feel her…” The angel announced.

 

Dean parked on a supermarket’s lot, looking for weapons on the truck. He gave a second angel blade to his best friend — just in case.

 

“What happened yesterday? What did you do?” Dean asked while they were walking towards the shops, looking for his brother and his niece.

 

“We were on the pool. We didn’t do anything spec—“ The angel stopped working,

 

“What’s going on Cas?” Dean asked, a hand on his shoulder.

 

“It’s the angel radio. It sounds like Duma, but I couldn’t heard her right. She told me to meet her at the ancient brokerage, north of the town.” He answered, accelerating his paces towards the old structure.

 

When they reached the building, violently opening the door, his first reflex was to sigh, reassured to see that Sam and Gabrielle were there, sitting in the middle of the room. His relief was short when he noticed that Sam was gaged, his feet tied up to an old chair. His arms were free, his daughter unarmed in it.

 

“Duma?” Cas made a step forward, but he was held on by the other angel.

 

“No. No Castiel.” She said, shaking his head. “Try again.”

 

“What the hell is going on” Dean screamed, his voice echoing in the room.

 

Duma approached to Sam, taking off the gag of his mouth.

 

“Sam, are you two alright?” Cas asked, his voice trembling.

 

“Yes, yes we are. I just don’t know why your sister would hurt us…” he confessed, his look on the angel’s who was trying to avoid them.

 

“This isn’t Duma.” He said. “This is the Entity.”

 

“In the flesh” The Empty continued, his entire face turning black. “Come on, Castiel. Don’t be shy. Tell them why we are all here today.” He said with dédain in his voice, sitting on a free chair next to Sam.

 

“What the fuck did you do Cas” Dean asked, staring at Cas.

 

“When Jack died two years ago. I made a deal with the Empty. My life for his…” he swallowed hard when he met Sam’s broken look for half a second. “She said that she wouldn’t come for me, not until I was happy. Sam I’m —“

 

“No.” She interrupted. “I have waited months to get to you. Lebanon is entirely warded, it’s impossible for anyone to get close to your daughter, and you. I’ve tried. Imagine my surprise when I found out that you were finally leaving your awful area.” She continued, his hand on Sam’s cheek, her nails slowly cutting it.

“Imagine my surprise when I tried to take you in the empty but I couldn’t. Because you haven’t any angelic grace to be in there.” She exaggeratedly sighed. “You barely are an angel anymore. You eat, you sleep. You probably fart and snort too. I was pissed, Castiel. Very pissed.”

 

She shook her head one more time, pressuring Sam’s face strongly between her hands.

 

“So I’ve thought. If I can’t get you, at least I can erase your happiness of the equation. It’d be worst that death.” She smiled, taking Gabrielle in his arms after Sam fought to keep her against her.

 

“An eternity, without the two persons you love the most. Sam will die and this little one? I can bring her with me. We could have fun in the empty, counting the sleeping angels on there. I think all of her family are in it.” She snorted.

 

“Don’t you dare touching her” Sam screamed, trying to get away with the heavy chains on his ankles.

 

“Entity. Let them go, _please._ ” Castiel, walking slowly towards the Empty, his angel blade on his hand. “Kill me. Right now. Just let them go.”

 

“Cas… you can’t do that.” Sam sobbed, looking simultaneously at him and their girl. “Do not do that.”

 

“I have to, Sam.” He whispered, kneeling in front of him.

“I am so, so sorry I lied to you. I didn’t mean to threaten you life, nor her’s.” He took his hand on his, kissing the back of it. “I hope you will forgive me one day.”

 

“Don’t let us…” Sam answered, squeezing his hand so hard he thought he would have break them.

 

He didn’t answer anything, giving his weapon to the Empty. The creature took the blade in one hand, supporting the baby with the other one. Castiel wasn’t expecting the blade on his skin so soon. Not so abruptly. He felt the tip of it stabbing his left specula, and he immediately thought that no human words would have been able to describe the pain he was feeling right now. He didn’t realize that his through voice was audible for a second and it was enough for the ground to quake.

 

“Cas…” The hunter was sure something broke inside  of him when he saw Castiel’s tears rolling down his face. It was the first time he saw him crying, and he prayed to never see that again. He wiped out his tears from his own face with one hand, whispering. “I’m here, Angel.”

 

“Can… can I say goodbye to her…” The angel begged, not sure if the words who were coming out from his mouth was understandable.

 

“Yes, yes of course Castiel. I am not an evil person.” The Empty said with Duma’s voice, smiling to Sam. He untied the hunter quickly, after she wedged the baby in his arm. “I am sorry for this theater scene. I wanted to see Castiel suffer.” She laughed, straightening up.

 

Sam kneeled in front of Cas, who was holding his bleeding shoulder. The drops of blood were dropping on the ground, they were like flying — from his wing Sam supposed. He put a hand on his cheek. He put his daughter against his chest, so Castiel could reach her forehead and kiss her there, for a very long time. He let his eyes into her, a tear crashing into her body. He didn’t know what to say, he never thought he had to say goodbye to his daughter and Sam today.

 

“Your dad will take care of you for us both…” he whispered, Sam’s forehead nestling against his temple. Gabrielle, who still were looking into his angelic dad’s eyes, outstretched his hand until his two curious fingers reached his forehead. Her eyes were glowing, his irises turning purple inside her blue eyes. Sam took a step back when he felt Castiel gasping heavily. The angel’s eyes were glowing too. He stood up in a heartbeat, reaching the empty. He violently crashed his palm against her forehead, the grace escaping his hand. Duma screamed and turned into dust. Just like that. In a few seconds, the ashes fell on the ground. Dean, who was still there looking at the scene speechless, finally talked. 

 

“Did you — man you killed the Empty? Just like that?” He asked, running next to him to before he fell on the ground.

 

“Cas!” Sam cried out.

 

It was the last words he heard before he passed out.

 

When he woke up an unknown amount of hours later, he looked around, looking for a familiar face or a familiar place. The first thing he saw was the suitcases in the corner of the room, and he remembered the cabin. When he painfully turned his head, he noticed that Sam was sitting on the bed next to him, Gabrielle laying in front of him.

 

“Sam…” Castiel whispered, trying to move without kicking the little girl who was looking at him.

 

When he heard his voice, Sam jumped his surprise. He adjusted the pillow behind Cas.

 

“Easy. Easy.” He said. “DEAN!”

 

His brother appeared, greeting Cas.

“Hey there pal. Welcome back with us. Enjoy the few minutes of cuddles with my brother because after that we’re going to talk.”

 

“Dean, that’s enough. Can you please take Gabrielle to mom and Jody, but do not leave her side. Please.”

 

Dean took her niece on his arms, leaving the room after he told him that he wouldn’t. Sam closed the door behind him and sat next to Cas.

 

“You won’t like what I will ask, Cas. But you will have to show me this now. You didn’t stop bleeding since we brought you back here. I may need to treat it.”

 

Sam wasn’t even looking at him and Castiel felt it. He felt what he feared the most. The look on Sam’s face when he was disappointing with his behavior. And he hated it.

 

“She saved me.” He simply said, throwing away the pillow from against his back to turned over so Sam could access his left specula.

 

“I figured it out. You have your grace back. All of it.” He said. He felt that Sam’s voice was cracking. When he turned around, he noticed the silent tear on his face. Sam threw away the towel he had on his hand and carefully threw himself in against the angel.

 

“I am so, so sorry Sam…” The angel repeated when he felt the warm breath of Sam, nestling in his neck.

 

“I wish I was able to be mad at you. But I’m not. Because I get it. I can understand why you did that. I wanted you to tell me, Cas. I could have helped you with this.” He straightened up when he felt that the angel was in pain.

 

“We should heal this first” The hunter admitted, taking in his hand the towel he threw away one minute before.

 

The angel took a deep breath, slightly squirming his shoulders. He focused on the grace growing on his back, spreading out his wings, a painful moan escaping his mouth when his left one was visible. Sam was left with his mouth wide opened when he saw the two majestuous wings in front of his eyes. He imagined them before, their color, their texture, how many feathers they would have. But he couldn’t have think about what he was witnessing right now. He was mesmerized. Hypnotised. His fingers place between his shoulder blades. When Cas told him that his wings were broken, he wasn’t expecting to see them flamboyant. At least the right wing was.

 

“Sam? Are you alright?” Castiel asked, turning out his face trying to see what was going on.

 

“Your wings. They are injured but they aren’t what you described.” He whispered, taking a clean towel to clean up the dried blood on his back.

 

“It seems like our daughter fixed me.” He answered, a soft smile on his lips. “I don’t know how she did that, Sam. Her grace. She gave me the power to kill the Empty. Before I passed out I felt it. I felt my body healing, my feathers restructuring themselves one by one but I think my bone was already broken in my left shoulder blade. The healing wasn’t complete.”

 

He felt the angel tensed, shutting down a painful groan when he moved the towel to his injured shoulder.  

 

“I’m sorry. Is that hurting?” Sam apologized.

 

“It hurts like the Empire State Building on your toe, if this can help.” The angel snorted. “But keep going Sam. Even if I scream, do not stop.”

 

The angel nodded, not really wanting to hurt his boyfriend but it’s what Castiel wanted. He knew Castiel would never use Gabrielle’s powers even if she seems to be able to use them now. He respected that. Sam dropped the towel, and took a tube of magical ointment Anael gave him, to fix the angel’s wings.

 

“It’s gonna hurt, Angel. But I’m here, alright.” Sam confessed, sinking his fingers in the recipient, applying the ointment on his broken shoulder, the most slowly he could. Castiel gripped the sheets he could reach, always ripping them apart. He was trying to not open his mouth, but when he felt Sam’s fingers reaching his subscapular fossa who was injured, he cried. Silently, but the hunter was hearing him sobbing. He wanted to stop, and hug him right now but he made a promise. A green filament went through his left wings, illuminating  every roots of the feathers. He noticed that the ones who were dead, fell on the bed. He counted a dozen of them, everytime one of them fell he was hearing Castiel screaming. It sounded painful. He discreetly picked up one of them and touched them. The dead ones. They felt coarsed and covered with blood. He thanked the lord when it was over, grabbing the bandages he was keeping close. He tended to Castiel’s wound, his left shoulder now half bandaged. When Castiel heard Sam saying that it was over, he sighed, laying down his right side. He closed his eyes, until he felt Sam tenderly nestling against him, carefully wrapping a hand around his waist.

 

“Is that okay? Tell me if I hurt you.” Sam said, feeling the angel’s hand on his shoulder.

 

Castiel rested his head against the hunter’s chest, whispering.

 

“Thank you, Sam. You are a wonderful doctor.” He admitted, glad to hear his laugh when he said those words.

 

“Anael told me that it would take a few months to heal completely.” Sam whispered, stroking his boyfriend hair.

“Do not worry. She promised me that she won’t tell anyone about Gabrielle’s powers yet. The angels will have their wings back in 10 years. This was the deal.”

 

He felt Castiel relaxing himself against him.

 

“I didn’t mean to ruin our first Christmas.” The angel admitted.

 

“You didn’t. This our lives, Cas. We live with danger. There’s no rest for us. Today it was the Empty, tomorrow it can be an evil witch or a twisted djinn. We will face anything coming at us, if we trust each other. I mean it, you can’t lie to me. Or hiding things. I’m your partner.” Sam said with more aggressivity in his voice that he meant to.

 

“I know.” Castiel simply said, knowing that this wasn’t the right moment to add anything. “How long was I out?”

 

“A little more than 24 hours.” He confessed. “Gabrielle and I, we slept with you all night. I know you are wondering, her sleep was perfectly normal. I called Anael sooner just to be sure, she examined her. Our baby is fine. Her grace is now working by itself. She doesn’t need yours. And Ana made sure she wasn’t traumatized from seeing his dad almost dying.” He snorted, breaking their embrace when he felt Castiel painfully straightening up.

 

He opened his mouth, ready to say the S-word one more time but he was cut off by the lips of Sam against his own. He enjoyed the taste they had. It was the first time he kissed him with his powerful angel self. He wasn’t confused by his human emotions anymore, but he was reassured to feel the love he had for him literally boiling through his veins. It was stronger than everything he felt before. He wrapped his right hand against the hunter’s waist, pulling him closer to make the kiss ever deeper.

 

“Is that what we are doing, Sam? Interrupting each other with kisses.” He titled his head, staring at him.

 

“Yes. Definitely.” The hunter answered, after a soft laugh. “How are you feeling? Do you want to join all the family in the living room? It’s Christmas to tomorrow. And your daughter helped making delicious cookies.” He said.

 

The angel nodded, and Sam helped him to get up. He looked around, looking for his trench coat.

 

“Where is my coat?” He asked, almost sad to not see his favorite outfit anywhere.

 

“Really, Cas? You were stabbed one day ago. He’s kind of dead. Your tie and shirt are in the laundry.” He laughed when he noticed the sad pout on the angel’s face.

 

“I’m gonna buy you a new one tomorrow, Angel.” He smiled, while he was grabbing a clean T-shirt on the bed. He helped the angel dressing himself.

 

“We will change the bandages after in a few days. Now it’s time for opening the presents. You woke up just in time.”  

 

Castiel nodded one more time and they joined the living room where the entire family was staring at them when they arrived.

 

The table was entirely decorated, and the food seemed delicious on it. There was cookies, toasts and three huge turkeys surrounding my potatoes and vegetables, everything very started on. It wasn’t surprising to have Dean devouring a poultry, Jack mimicking his action. Claire and Alex were discreetly dropping vodka in their eggnog, showing their method to Anael who happily tested it. Jody and Donna feeding the fire. The most interesting part for Castiel was to notice his baby girl in Mary’s arms, sitting on the sofa. He joined them quickly, kneeling in front of them to reach their height.

 

“Hey there, Bee.” He whispered, a finger stroking her cheek. When she heard his voice, Gabrielle let go of Mary’s strand of hair and waved her arms towards Cas, a smile growing behind his dummy. Sam took her in his arms one second, letting Castiel sit on the couch next to mama Winchester.

 

“Do you want to hold her?” He asked when he felt that the girl was ready to fly in his other daddy’s arms. “Slow down there, cowboy! I know you want a hug after an entire day without it but can you not jump” he laughed when he heard her giggling, hiding her head in Sam’s hair.

 

When he noticed that Castiel was ready, he wedged her against his right shoulder, supporting her with his right hand. “I missed you too.” He said, before he whispering on her ear. “And I think I have to thank you very much for you for what you did. I love you.” He kissed the back on her head, glad to hear her giggling one more time.

 

“Now that his feathered ass is alive, we can open the gifts!” Dean screamed and Jack clapped his hands, everyone sitting on the sofa or the seats around the tree. There is so much gifts under it that it would take them a few hours to open it all. The oldest was the one who started the festivities, giving a huge package to the wayward gang. Jody was thrilled to discover a brewery machine.

 

“Is that really for us or it’s more for you, Dean?” Donna asked.

 

They all laughed when they witnessed Dean rolling his eyes, threatening to break his gift. The oldest Winchester offered a new gun to his mom, a fishing rod to Jack, and albums for the girls. He let Sam and Cas opening his niece’s gift, it was a miniature replica of the impala, a pink version.

 

“That’s for you Sammy.” He announced proudly. Sam opened the gift his brother offered to him, a flannel shirt with different shades of brown. “And for you, Cas.” He offered him a fake FBI badge, with an ugly picture he took on time he was working at a shop.

 

It really took them all two hours to open and comment every gift they had. One by one. Enjoying them. Threatening to break them. Jack almost cried when he received a video game from Mary, The waywards mostly had clothes. The entire floor was covered with wrapping paper, Sam was barely able to find their gifts they had. He knew most of the gifts Castiel bought, but not all do them. He was curious and make the distribution, intrigued to have the gift with his name of it.

 

“Ana. I know we don’t make Christmas but, I hope you will like the star I created for you. Because you took care of my daughter. And it’s the least you deserve.” He winked at her, Anael slightly hugging him.

 

“Thank you, big brother.” She whispered, his words almost covered by the loud voice of Dean.

 

“Sammy! You didn’t!” He threw away the package, putting the gloves on. “The driving gloves Ryan Gosling had on drive! Thank you man.”

 

When they all opened their gifts, Castiel realized that they were three packages left. The two gifts they had for their daughter beside the toys and clothes they bought in common, and the one he offered to Sam. He looked quickly at the tree, to see if any gift left was missing. He didn’t seem that there was any one of left. Sam’s opened his gift for Gabrielle. A golden chain bracelet, with her name on it, and behind his date of birth and the initials of Sam and him.

 

“Sam. It’s beautiful.” The angel said in awe, while the hunter hooked up the chain to her little wrist.

 

The angel opened his gift after this one, an entire outfit. A little trench coat, a white shirt and a purple tie. It was the same as he was eating every day for a kid. Sam burst into laughter, Gabrielle playing with the little tie, now sitting between the two of them on the couch.

 

“You bought her a trench coat?” Sam asked a bit incredulous.

 

“Of course. Trench coat will be useful for her wings when she will be little. At first they might be out of controls and the trench coat are protecting them.” He laughed and stared at Sam. “Open yours.”

 

Sam nodded and took the gift Castiel offered him, unwrapping the package quickly. He was glad to discover something simple, but something he knew it would cherish for a very long time. It was a framed picture of the three of them, the night their daughter was born. The first time they hugged her. He wasn’t sure how the angel captured this moment and he didn’t want to know it anyway.

 

“This is beautiful, Cas. Thank you.” He simply answered, dropping a quick kiss on his cheek.

 

The rest of the evening was joyful. Anael was avoiding a very drunk Dean, Jody and Donna were cuddling on the sofa, talking with Mary. Jack and the girls were on the room, playing with the Trivial Pursuit Master edition Sam offered them. They all went to bed soon after. Due to the recent event, Sam carried Gabrielle on their bed, laying her down in the king sized bed. He covered her with a little blanket. He wasn’t ready to leave her side yet. Not after the recent events. And Castiel knew it. Speaking of Castiel, the angel was sitting outside on the balcony they room possessed. He was looking at the stars, lost in his thoughts. He didn’t know for how long Sam was there, sitting on the deck hair in front of him.

 

“Are we okay, Sam? You and I.” He asked, his eyes lost in Sam’s. “I’d understand if you don’t want me to be my boyfriend anymore, after I threatened your life and our daughter’s.”

 

“Why do you think that?” Sam frowned, his hands in his pockets.

 

“You offered a gift to everyone but me. It might be a sign that you don’t want me, anymore.” He ended.

 

“You are right. I don’t want you to be my boyfriend anymore.” Sam said with a calm voice.

 

Before Castiel could stand up and leave the balcony, Sam kneeled in front of him, taking his hand on his own.

 

“I don’t want you to be my boyfriend anymore, not because I don’t want you by my side. It’s quite the opposite, really.” He snorted, the confusion on the angel’s face was more present now. Sam took a little box from his pocket, dropping it on Castiel’s thigh.

 

“Cas. I know you saw that I had a gift for you. And I am sorry you thought I didn’t want to give you this anymore. I never was sure about anything else in my life. I just didn’t want it to be in public.” He took a deep breath, his eyes never leaving the angel’s.

 

“When I met you, for the first time, I never thought I would have the chance to earn your compassion nor your love. I was the boy with demon blood, I was a mess you weren’t supposed to look at. You were here for my brother. We weren’t meant to be friends. I used to believe in angels, in God. I believed what I read in the Bible when I was a kid, and that I was alone in a motel and I needed hope. Believing in angels gave me hope. But since you arrived, I just believe in you. You are the one who are giving me hope. I believe in the powerful being that you are that saved my life countless times. Who protected me when no one asked. Who healed my wounds. Who stood by my side when the entire universe told him not to. My life changed thanks to you. For the better. You told me once that being human changed your view of me. Well, next to you everyday changed me. Falling in love with you was the easiest decision I’ve taken in my entire life. I couldn’t tell you exactly when it happened. When I understood that I wanted to spend the rest of my life by your side, not as a friend but as your better half. Your partner. I never thought I would deserve it, you. When even with your flaws you still are perfection to me. And one day you asked me the most crazy thing. You wanted me to be the father of your child. Because you trusted me enough to be bound to me forever, and save the entire planet. Even if you knew how messed up I still am. You gave me a daughter, and your love. I almost lost you again, and I don’t want to ever think about losing you again. You did one crazy thing, and I have one to do too.”

 

He stopped a few seconds, opening the box. He took the ring between his finger, nervously playing with it. He knew what he said didn’t make sense, not really. It was a lot of feelings he couldn’t order. Some things he wanted to tell him so many times before.

 

“We are meant to be together, I know it now. Human life, a normal one, it’s multiple steps in a relationship . We meet, we fall in love, we kiss for the first time, we have sex for the first time, we become parents. We have a new house. We die. Our steps were pretty much very messy. We didn’t do anything in the right order, but it doesn’t matter because there is one more step to cross:

I want you to be my husband. Castiel… will you marry me?” He proposed almost out of breath.

 

The angel’s mouth was wide opened, his mind still processing everything Sam said. But now the only things he was seeing what Sam, the man he loved more than anything he was able to express, was kneeling in front of him, his moist hand on his lap, waiting for him to answer something — preferably a word starting by Y.

 

He was looking for a long answer to say right now. But he chose to simply offering his hand to Sam, letting him slide the ring on his finger, after he whispered a “Yes.” Sam finally straightened up, sitting on his laps, his cheek resting against his head.

 

“This was an easy answer” Sam said, happily sighing.

 

“This was a simple question.” Castiel answered, looking more closely at his ring. He noticed that two angel’s wings were engraved in it. “This is such a beautiful ring.” He said, in awe with the jewel on his finger.

 

“The chain bracelet wasn’t the only thing I’ve bought. I wanted something special. For someone special.” He explained, yawning discreetly.

 

“You should sleep, Sam. You are exhausted. You talked too much.” Castiel teased him, laughing when he felt his gentle punch on his uninjured arm.

 

“I take it all back. I don’t want to marry you anymore.” He announced, falsely offended. He left Castiel’s laps and meet the bed once he had his pajama on, resting next to his baby girl. Castiel stood next to the bed, looking at them both.

 

“Oh… you don’t sleep now, right.” He sadly admitted, closing his eyes a hand wrapping the stomach of their baby.

 

“I am not. But I will stay with you all the time, Sam. I am not going anywhere.” He told him, now sitting next to him.

 

Sam fell asleep quickly, snoring in rhythm with his daughter. Castiel looked at his ring again, a gaping smile on his face. He was engaged to Sam Winchester.

 

•••

 

**Epilogue**

**June 4th, 2023.**

 

If you ask Sam Winchester, why he will marry the love of his life 3 years and and a half after his proposal? He couldn’t explain it. He asked Castiel about it a thousand times the past two years, he thought for a moment that he would die before he could actually marry him. And at some point the angel gave up and gave him this date. Their daughter was 4 years old. They were still madly in love with each others, — he supposed. They were happy. And in a few hours now, he will be married to Castiel if his fiancé would relax a little bit.

 

“Cas, Angel. You don’t have to be nervous.” He said, his hands stroking his tensed shoulders.

 

“I am not.” The angel answered, clearing his voice.

 

“You aren’t? Your shoulders are telling me otherwise.” He confessed, dropping a kiss on the back of his neck.

 

“Sam, they are bones. They cannot talk.” He answered with a serious tone.

 

Sam frowned his eyebrows, when he felt that Castiel wasn’t joking with him. Not that he was used to understand his humor even after fifteen years by his side but he felt different. And he was worried. He bypassed the angel body, to face him, sliding his hands on his cheeks.

 

“Are you sure you are alright? If you have second thoughts Cas, it’s fine. You can tell me anything.” He offered, internally praying that this wasn’t the case.

 

“What! Sam. No of course I’m not having second thoughts.” He cried out, kissing the tip of Sam’s nose.

“You should go, we have to get ready. And you can’t see the bride before the wedding. It’s bad luck.” Cas informed him, breaking their embrace. “I’ve read it in a magazine.”

 

Sam snorted, when he watched Castiel kicking him out. “But you aren’t a bride, Cas. You don’t have a dress to put on.” He pouted. “I mean if you want to marry me in a dress you can. Even naked. Just do it.”

 

“Great. Gabrielle is with Alex and Claire for her hair. And they will meet Ana for her dress in one hour. I will check on her when I’m ready.” He said.

 

“Okay, whatever you want.”  The hunter said, offering his lips to the angel. When he noticed that the angel wasn’t kissing him, he sighed.

 

The angel laughed, waving his hand. “Go, Sam! I will see you later.”

 

“I am gonna see my daughter, at least she won’t push me away.” He winked, waving back at him.

 

Castiel closed the door of his room, and Sam quickly joined the girls’ room. He knocked, hearing a familiar voice screaming “Come in!”

 

When he entered, the same familiar voice greeted him.

”Hello Daddy!” Gabrielle said, smiling to him, balancing her legs, sitting on her chair. Sam gladly smiled back at her.

 

“Hey there baby. Claire is holding a curling tongs. Stay still.” He said with a soft smile.

 

“Okay.” She apologized, patiently waiting for Claire to end her curls. The second she put the iron away, she jumped off her chair and ran into Sam’s arms, nestling her head in his neck.

 

“Gabe, you didn’t have something you wanted to ask him?” Alex said, looking at her.

 

“Can I use Claire’s lipstick? Just for the wedding.” The smart little girl asked, her voice muffled in his neck. Sam laughed, dropping her on the floor.

 

“Of course you can.” He shook his head, thanking Alex and Claire with a tender look. “I will have to get dressed but Dadcas will come to see you very soon.”

 

“Okay! Thanks Daddy!” The girl screamed, happily searching for the make up she always steal from the sisters.

 

“Gabe?” He asked, before he left.

“Yes?” She answered, looking at him.

“I love you…” he started

“...To the moon and back. I know, me too Daddy.” She finished.

 

Sam left the room, smiling like an idiot. He used to tell that every two days, really. And each times her answer was making him happy. He finally reached the room his tuxedo was waiting on. He put his clothes on, his suit still on his hand. He took a few minutes to sit on the bed, lost in his thoughts. In two hours and seven minutes, he will marry an angel. _His angel_. His best friend, his lover. The list on his mind was cut off when Dean appeared — without knocking, obviously.

 

“Sammy. How are you doing?” He asked, sitting next to him, already dressed as his best man.

 

“Good. Good, I think. I don’t think I’m feeling my hands anymore. They are so covered with moist that the ring will just slide and fall on the floor.” He snorted, wiping his hands on the sheets.

 

“It’s gonna be fine. You are planning your wedding with Cas for a decade now.” Dean said with reassurance in his voice.

 

“What! How did you know that?” He asked, horrified.

 

“You don’t remember, about a year ago? You were pretty wasted after Jody’s birthday, and you came in my room sobbing saying that Cas was ruining your plans. And you spent two hours explaining it to me. How it started.” He confessed.

 

Sam snorted, putting his suit on, sadly sighing. “Please Don’t say that for your toast alright.”

 

Dean laughed with him, adjusting his pocket.

 

“Sam. Do not start panicking right now. Okay buddy? Cas will be fine, you too. I saw your daughter outside, she’s adorable. I’m here. Mom, Jack. All your friends. You can relax.”

 

His brother patted his shoulder, standing up.

 

“I have to check the buffet the caterer, I meet you two hours.” He said, leaving the room when he was sure Sam understood.

 

On the other side of the house, the ambiance was more tensed. Castiel was back on his room, fully dressed, even for the flower in his pocket.

 

“Anael. This is a terrible idea.” Castiel said, looking at his little sister who were leaning against the wall.

 

“Castiel. It’s Sam. You aren’t forcing him to do anything he wouldn’t want.” she answered with a comforting voice.

 

“You don’t know that. When he will see that I tricked him at our own wedding, he will probably kill me. And I couldn’t blame him.” He sighed.

 

“Does he know yet that Dean replaced his vegetarians appetizers with hot dogs? When he will notice it he’s gonna be the first murdered.” They both giggled. “Trust me. We all helped you with that. It took you three years to make it happen. And your daughter asked you this too. I’m not worried. He will understand.”

 

It’s was almost time. All the guests were there, in the backyard of Jody and Donna’s house in Sioux Falls. The place was simple, and it was home too, and it’s all they wanted. The white chairs, decorated with blue, dark green and gold. A lot of flowers — Cas wanting the bees to feel welcome. A golden carpet. The lightning were pretty much everywhere, on the trees nearby and on the arch. It was beautiful. Sam, who were standing at the aisle, was happy to see their loved ones. There weren’t a lot of people, considering that half of their friends were dead. But the people they loved were, and it was the important part for them. His mom, Jack, the Waywards, his brother, Alycia and Max, Ketch, Rowena, a couple of hunters they really like.  Castiel’s family was composed by Anael, and Naomi, the others angels were staying in heaven, to make the place work. He had a thought for all the people he would have love here, like Eileen, Charlie, and even Crowley.

 

He was now waiting for Cas, under the flowery arch. His daughter nestling against his leg. He stroked her hair, feeling her pushing it away.

 

“Daddy, stop! You will mess with my hair.” She whispered.

 

“Excuse me princess” he answered with exaggeration, a smile on his face.

 

Everyone was now sitting, ready for the ceremony to begin. Dean appeared in front of Sam, a smile on his face.

 

“Sammy… don’t freak out. But the mayor can’t be here.” He announced, and Sam felt he was about to collapse.

 

“The what can’t what…” he started. “The ceremony can’t happen without the mayor, Dean.”

 

“Do not worry. I thought about everything. I found you a replacement.” Dean announced, winking at Gabrielle.

 

The nephilim disappeared in a heartbeat. Before Sam could have screamed, he turned around to see her in someone’s arms. He took him a second to realize that she wasn’t his anybody’s arms. The musician started to play the instrumental version of Richard Marx - Right here waiting, and Sam was confused. He watched Anael, Castiel, his daughter and someone he didn’t think he’d see one more time in his life. Anael stood next to Dean, and Castiel stopped in front of Sam, taking his hands in his. Sam squeezed the hands, his mouth still wide opened.

 

“Chuck? I mean… God? What are you doing here?” He asked, looking Gabrielle wrapping her hands around his neck. He looked around and no one seemed surprised.

 

“Sam. It’s s wedding between my favorite human and my favorite angel. I am the only one who could make this union.” He snorted, putting his granddaughter on the floor. Gabrielle ran and sat on Mary’s laps —- his mom who were sitting next to Amara, Sam just noticed.

 

“We shall begin.” Chuck cleared his throat.

 

When he was over this disturbing mess, he turned his face, finally focusing on Cas. A little _“oh wow”_ escaped his mouth when he noticed how beautiful the angel was in the tuxedo. The color of the fabric was a blue similar to the one you could only find at the deepest pit of an ocean. He was wearing a pink tie with it, the color of the flower matching.

 

“You also are beautiful, Sam.” The angel confessed, mostly whispering for him.

 

The hunter smiled, waiting for Chuck to start his speech.

 

“Welcome, loved ones. We are gathered here today to join Sam Winchester and Castiel in holy matrimony. This place couldn’t be more holy because well, I’m God.”

 

The crowded giggled, and he continued when the silence reappeared.

 

“Do you, Sam Winchester, take Castiel to be your husband and other half, to take care of him and cherish your relationship? To love him today, tomorrow, and forever? To always be open, honest, and faithful to him. Do you take him to be your husband, to have and to hold from this day forward in sickness and in health, in good times and bad, for richer or poorer, keeping yourself unto him for as long as you both shall live?”

 

“I do.” Sam simply answered, his hands shaking in the angel’s. He broke the contact to grab the ring his brother was offering, sliding the ring on Castiel’s finger.

 

“With this ring I take you to be no other than yourself. Loving what I know of you, and trusting what I do not yet know, I will respect your integrity and have faith in your abiding love, through all our years, and in all that life may bring us. And I mean, anything the life way bring us. I just hope this new life of ours will bring us a lot of fun stuff, no more deaths, no more kidnappings and everything.” Sam ended with a soft smile, licking in lips.

 

Chuck smiled, looking at Castiel. “This is your moment, Son” he said, Sam with a confused look.

 

“Sam…” The angel started, his eyes lost in Sam’s.

 

“You asked me, multiple times, why you. Why I chose you. I never knew how to explain it to you, simply. I avoided the questions, but now I owe you the truth. When you died, in Lawrence, when you ended up on that cage… when Father brought me back, I couldn’t bare the idea of you being gone. Not in this place. It took me a long time to find my way to you, to save you from perdition. I am sorry it took me so long, and that I failed you that day. I saved you, because you deserved to live, but also because I wanted to live by your side. Even if you were broken, I wanted to be the person who could heal you inside. I love every part of you you hate. All the flaws you want to hide, I cherish them. You taught me every good sides of being human, Sam, even if I’m angel. You taught me the concept of free will, of respect, of redemption. That you can turn your weaknesses into strengths. You were the boy with demon blood, and now look at you, You are a man with a saint heart, who can see the goodness in monsters’ hearts. You are an amazing father, the smartest person I’ve ever known. All those moments we did researches together, to make the world a better place. The moment we fought side by side, I fell in love with you more. When I wasn’t sure about my decisions, when I was lost between what was right and what was strong, I was just looking at you and I knew. You never thought I was looking at you, oh Sam. I always did. I was staring at you when you weren’t looking. I saw how beautiful you were. I loved your smell after your hunts. I loved sharing a beer with you when you weren’t feeling okay. Wrapping your body in my wings when you were struggling to sleep. I discovered love, with you. I discovered what was this feeling humans were desperately looking for. You are the first person I’ve loved, and Sam you will be the last. All I know is that I can’t live without you.” The angel took a break, grabbing the small cushion with two rings on it.

 

“You already answered the big question, but I have another one to ask. I scheduled our wedding today not because I didn’t wanted to marry you sooner, but I needed time to make it right. I know why you wanted us to do it so quick. Because you know that I’m immortal, so is your daughter. And I know how much it hurts you. How you feel guilty for being mortal. It wasn’t just about me. It was also about Gabrielle. Come here Bee.” He called for their daughter, who left Mary to meet her dads. Castiel carried her, the two of them looking at Sam — who were crying silently for a dozen of minutes.

 

“I will be selfish, for the first time I will be selfish and be aware of it. I can’t live without you, I don’t want to live without you. I am afraid that it will kill me to see you die, permanently. The choice is yours. You can choose the ring on the right, or the right on the left. The first one is a basic one, I will put this on your finger and we will be married for the next fifty years. The other one is special. Father forged it in the rock of the first star. And she contained an ancient form of grace. It means that, as long as you love me, and wear this ring, you won’t age, you won’t die. And even if one day it burdens you, you can pray my Father to unspell it.”

 

Sam, right now, needed to remember that his lungs require air. He struggled to breath, his palms resting on his pants. This was a lot to process. A lot more that he expected. This was kind of the intensity and passion he chose when he fell in love with his angel and his inter dimensional behavior. He wiped out the tears on his face, his blurry eyes looking at Castiel and Gabrielle. He looked at his brother too, quickly, Dean winking at him. He knew everything, and he was okay with that. The angel wouldn’t have ask him this without asking Dean first. When his eyes were back into the piercing blue ones of Castiel, Sam felt his heart stop.

 

_He remembered when he first met Castiel, the first time he hold his hand, the first time they hugged, and when he hugged him back. The moment he realized he was in love with him. The first time he lost him, and all the times after that. He remembered that it was more difficult each times, even if Cas was always coming back. He remembered that moment he asked him to be the father of child. When they first touch Elle’s belly. The moment she was born. The first time they kissed and when he kissed him back. The first time Castiel swimmed. The first time he saw his wings. The first time they made love. The first steps their daughter made, and the angel screaming “Fly my little Bee” and he was laughing every time because of it. He remembered the time they went in Rome. The first time he flied with him._

 

Sam opened his eyes who were closed while he was lost in his thoughts, only to meet Cas’s one more time. He knew the answer, certainly that he wished for it before. He looked down at the cushion, and took the left ring without an hesitation. He didn’t said anything out loud, but he smiled — and sniffed a lot; and Castiel already knew what it meant.

 

The angel dropped the kid on the floor, Gabrielle staying next to Chuck, simultaneously looking at her two dads. She was happy, even if she never doubted the decision Sam would have made. Castiel took the ring, and put it on Sam’s fingers, intertwining their fingers after that.

 

“With this ring I, Castiel, take you Sam Winchester, to be no other than yourself. Loving what I know of you, and trusting what I do not yet know, I will respect your integrity and have faith in your abiding love for me, through all our years, and in all that life may bring us.  
For the rest of our lives, I promise to keep you safe inside.”

 

Sam squeezed their hands one more time, suddenly  impatient for this ceremony to end.

 

“Sam and Castiel, you have come here today of your own free will and in the presence of family and loved ones, have declared your love and commitment to each other. You have given and received rings as a symbol of your promises. The forever type of of promises. By the power of your love and commitment to each other, I pronounce you one.”

 

The whole crowd applauded, Castiel and Sam staying still, looking at each other, matching silly smiles on their faces. They were back on earth when Gabrielle gripped their suits.

 

“I think you didn’t hear grandpa say that you can kiss, now.” She whispered for the both of them, with a soft voice.

 

They both giggled, thanking her for the reminder. Sam took a step closer to Cas, his breath brushing his lips.

 

“And now… Can I kiss you?” He murmured, “Mister Winchester”

“You can kiss me, the other Mister Winchester” he answered.

 

It didn’t take long for them to seal their mouths together, enjoying their first one as a married couple. They were able to feel each other smile, their lips tenderly colliding. The angel slid one hand on Sam’s waist, pulling him closer. The hunter deepened their kiss, almost forgetting the people looking at them. When they finally broke it, Sam couldn’t resist to bump their noses together.

 

They evening festivities went particularly well, in a tender atmosphere. The guests ate, and drank a lot. They danced with their daughter, because she begged for it and they absolutely refused to dance publicly because they were very bad at it. They thanked everyone for the congratulations. Sam wanted to personally thank Chuck, but he and Amara disappeared right after the end of the wedding. He supposed that he disturbed enough the space-time continuum. Now, Sam was sitting alone in the garden, on a swing seat, looking the aisle he married his angel a few hours ago. Castiel met him a moment later, a sleeping nephilim in his arms. The angel sat next to him, laying down Gabrielle on their thighs. He adjusted a little pillow under her head, and Cas covered her with a blanket. He nestled against Sam, resting his head on his neck while they were stroking their baby’s hair.

 

“Sam, are you alright?” Castiel asked, dropping a soft kiss on his collar bone.

 

“I am. I just needed a little bit of fresh air.” He answered, and then snorted. “I’m gonna hear this question a lot for the rest of eternity, isn’t it?”

 

“Probably, yes.” He giggled.

 

They let their hand interlace on the blanket, their rings tinkling together.

 

“What now?” Sam asked, rubbing his fingers he could reach with his thumb.

 

“We can do anything.” The angel answered honestly. “But I think there is something we can work on, together.”

 

“Are you talking about the Hybrid School? Cas, it was just a dream.” The hunter said when he understood what he meant.

 

“It doesn’t have to be, Sam. You are an amazing pedagogue, it would be a waste of your talent to not teach other people. No one I’ve met have more compassion that you have for all the species that exist. And if we can have a place on earth where all the creatures could learn the basics of humanity, we could actually find peace.” He proposed.

 

“You really are crazy.” The hunter snorted.

 

“Maybe, but this is on you.” He answered, shrugging.

 

Sam laughed quietly, closing his eyes, his chin resting on Castiel’s head. It took him a few minutes to realize that the angel wrapped the three of them in his wings. He let his free hand going through the black and strong feathers, feeling Castiel slightly shivering against his skin.

He felt comfortable in here, with Castiel, and Gabrielle. He felt lucky. And he was excited to discover the new steps they will make, now that they had all the time in the world. 

He knew that he could do anything, because the person he will spend his life with, it was Cas.

 

“Husband” Sam snorted, patting his shoulder.

“ _Husband_ ” Castiel answered with a proud smile on his face.

 

♥️ 

 

                                                                                                              Sam, Castiel and Gabrielle Winchester

* * *

 


End file.
